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to have told my friend to fuck off?

(125 Posts)
BanKittenHeels Thu 12-Dec-19 19:14:40

I have a new friend, we get on really well and have a lot in common. I work with her but see her a fair bit out of work, it is important for our jobs that we have a good relationship.

Recently with the election she has become obsessive about her party of choice. We happen to have the same political views but I choose not to shout about them on social media.

Said friend has been on social media in the last week saying that anyone who doesn’t vote for her party of choice is “an oppressor”.

Today anyone who votes and doesn’t mention who they are voting for is getting drilled by her.
I rarely post on social media but today I put up a #dogsatpollingstations post, because the world deserves to see more of my dog (and my DC are excited about the election process). I then got a message saying that I needed to outright say who I voted for, that “silence is not an option” and in not sharing my vote I am a “closet Tory” and “siding with the oppression”.

AIBU to have told her to fuck off?
She is now ranting on Instagram about people “voting blue but demanding silence”.
This woman is 38, a professional and intelligent woman who for the rest of the year I have known her has barely been politically active and has been very pleasant to spend time with.

What happened to it being bad manners to ask who someone votes for?

AwkwardSquad Thu 12-Dec-19 19:15:51

Sounds like a keyboard warrior. Tedious. YANBU.

Frenchw1fe Thu 12-Dec-19 19:18:30

Sounds a reasonable response to me. Voting is done in a booth for a reason.

CharlottesPleb Thu 12-Dec-19 19:18:41

People like this are one reason it's best not to share your voting intentions on principle, even if, no especially if you agree with them.

"That's none of your business."

Livelovebehappy Thu 12-Dec-19 19:19:28

How did I know just reading the first couple of lines of your post that your friend was anti Tory? This election unfortunately has brought out the worst in a lot of people. Ignore her. You’ll probably be lucky to get a peep out of her tomorrow so let her have her rant. So relieved its almost over.

Aquamarine1029 Thu 12-Dec-19 19:20:18

Jesus, she sounds insufferable. I would be rethinking my friendship with her, that's for sure.

Tennisnet Thu 12-Dec-19 19:21:22

YANBU. Not only do we have the right to vote, we also have the right to vote in private rather than putting up a show of hands in front of other people.

puds11 Thu 12-Dec-19 19:21:29

I wouldn’t be friends with her. I left fb and cut contact with people over their view forcing. She sounds like a dick.

Oooooooooooooooooooh Thu 12-Dec-19 19:22:58

Good for you. What a twat she is.

Latenightreader Thu 12-Dec-19 19:23:42

I've always been open about my politics but I absolutely support the right to keep opinions private. I've canvassed in the past and when people say they don't want to say I'm always very cheerful and tell them the Chartists fought hard for secret ballots. There are so many reasons why anyone might choose to keep it off social media, and no one has the right to demand.

Election2019 Thu 12-Dec-19 19:28:24

YANBU. Why do so many Labour voters behave like this?

countdowntochristmas Thu 12-Dec-19 19:30:15

Jeez sounds like my dad but he's worse doesn't actually like anyone who has a different opinion to him . I've had it drilled into me all my life so now I'm the opposite. I've voted and I have strong opinions why but I'm reluctant to discuss because of people like your friend and my dad who will almost bully you into agreeing with them . Everyone's got their own opinions and respect to you for that but do not force down people's throat . You have the right to not comment on who you voted for so yeah tell her do one .

redcarbluecar Thu 12-Dec-19 19:31:04

YANBU, she sounds like a nightmare.

x2boys Thu 12-Dec-19 19:34:58

So so many people like this ,their arrogance is astounding.

Itsallgonewoowoo Thu 12-Dec-19 19:34:59

I've happily said once on FB who I'm NOT voting for, I wish people followed my example, but it's up to them. In fact my old best buddy is rampantly for the other party, I say she's wrong, she says I am, but she's still my friend
As it turns out my DH and I just negated each others vote, he went Tory, I went labour. We should of just stayed at home!

JudgeRindersMinder Thu 12-Dec-19 19:36:11 remain friends with her!

Aridane Thu 12-Dec-19 19:39:13

I wouldn't have to,d a colleague to fuck off, not matter how profoundly annoying / unprofessional

littlepaddypaws Thu 12-Dec-19 19:40:04

she sounds a bit bat shit.

oncemorewithfeeling99 Thu 12-Dec-19 19:41:00

I absolutely don’t think it’s bad manners to ask who people are voting for (maybe 50 years ago) but I do think hounding people is, and probably counter productive as well.

BanKittenHeels Thu 12-Dec-19 19:42:10

Yes I’m reconsidering our friendship over this.
I found her constant screen shotting people (who has posted that they had been to vote but not disclosed who they had voted for) and then scrawling “secret Tory??” across it so upsetting. It actually turned my stomach.
It felt beyond anything like normal behaviour and completely against our modern democracy.

People who act like that are like the bloody KGB or something.

I am a socialist, I am politically active, I discuss politics with friends and I would love it if everyone thought like me and voted like me. But that last part isn’t realistic and I have no right to demand to know who someone voted for. I don’t understand how people can vote Conservative BUT they have as much right to vote for them as I do my party of choice. If that wasn’t the way it worked, I wouldn’t vote.

I told the exit poll people (first time I’ve been polled) that I voted for the Brexit Party. 😂

Loopytiles Thu 12-Dec-19 19:42:20

She was rude, but telling a colleague to fuck off was too.

You don’t need to be friends to work well together at work.

BanKittenHeels Thu 12-Dec-19 19:43:24

@adriane I certainly wouldn’t have told her to fuck off at work.

VanyaHargreeves Thu 12-Dec-19 19:43:40

How utterly tedious

I said to my friend Did you Vote?

She said Yes, did you?

I said I suspect we voted oppositely

We both laughed

That's how you mix politics and friendship

Loopytiles Thu 12-Dec-19 19:44:36

She’s still a colleague, even when outside work.

SheOfManyNames Thu 12-Dec-19 19:45:23

Election2019 nowhere does it say OP or the person in question voted labour. They could be Green, LD, Labour, SNP, Plaid, one of the NI parties or even Brexit Party thinking Tory party is oppressing the leave vote.

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