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AIBU?

Anti-vaccination friends around newborn

219 replies

Originalusernameunavailable · 12/12/2019 11:50

Hello, NC for this.

I am going to start by stressing this is not a thread for opinions on whether to vaccinate children or not. That’s an individual decision for everyone.

I do vaccinate my children because I believe the pros outweigh the risks.

My newborn obviously isn’t old enough for any jabs yet.

The subject came up with a friend as to whether I would allow our friends who are anti-vaccinations to be visiting my newborn in my own home due to risks of them being carriers of any of the ailments the vaccinations cover.

I can honestly say it’s not something I had considered before. My thoughts are my baby could come into contact with lots of people who have various illnesses, germs etc.

However, I was wondering if I’m being too laid back or whether my friends are just being neurotic in terms of the visiting/contact?

As I’ve said, please don’t make this into a slanging match about pro/anti vaccinations, please take the question as it is -

Is it unreasonable to think unvaccinated visitors are putting a newborn at extra risk?

Unreasonable - don’t be ridiculous!
Reasonable - don’t risk it!

OP posts:
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Am I being unreasonable?

1005 votes. Final results.

POLL
You are being unreasonable
12%
You are NOT being unreasonable
88%
HulksPurplePanties · 12/12/2019 11:52

I wouldn't let them within an inch of my newborn.

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MonstranceClock · 12/12/2019 11:52

No I wouldn’t allow them around my newborn. I also couldn’t be friends with people who neglect their children.

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MRex · 12/12/2019 11:54

I wouldn't let them in the house personally, the risk of measles death for a newborn or young toddler is significantly higher than for older children, it wouldn't be a risk I could take when the alternative is that you just hang out in a year's time after the jabs.

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ThinkingIsAllowed · 12/12/2019 11:55

agree completely with @MonstranceClock

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SympatheticSwan · 12/12/2019 11:55

My nephew ended up with a partial face paralysis after contracting mumps as a baby from an unvaccinated older child who had it in a very light form when visiting.
It is not scaremongering, an actual family story - only a couple of years ago.

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BlaueLagune · 12/12/2019 11:55

Is it unreasonable to think unvaccinated visitors are putting a newborn at extra risk

Yes. You don't know what vaccinations they've had. They may not be in favour of vaccinating their own children at all or with all the available vaccines, but that doesn't mean they didn't have the basic vaccines themselves.

Also - where do you stop? Would you prevent me visiting because I don't get the flu jab? Or didn't vaccinate my son against chicken pox? Are you going to ask for all your visitors' vaccinations records?

Yes it's ridiculous.

Also - newborn babies enjoy immunity from their mothers, so are not as vulnerable as people make out on MN. Otherwise we'd be vaccinating at birth (as they do in some countries).

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Originalusernameunavailable · 12/12/2019 11:56

My midwife was entirely impartial when I asked her advice.

OP posts:
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OwlBeThere · 12/12/2019 11:56

There are many people who have had vaccinations who are unaware they are no longer covered as the vaccines wear off, they are as much of a ‘risk’ to your baby as the unvaccinated children. It’s your choice if you let them around your baby but I really think it’s excessive to ban them.

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MRex · 12/12/2019 11:58

By the way, the risk of measles death looks to be around 1 in 70 of those who catch it across all age groups (higher for infants). See recent outbreaks in Congo and Samoa. Within the EU look at say Italy for how the virus spread last year with vaccination rates down.

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noneedtoberudedear · 12/12/2019 11:58

Absolutely no way would I be allowing unvaccinated people around my newborn. Don’t put your baby at risk because of their ridiculous views.

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WilheldivaHater · 12/12/2019 11:58

No I wouldn't let them be around the baby. A friends son isn't vaccinated and I wouldn't let my friend bring him to meet the baby and told them why.

My friend completely understood, its not worth the risk to a new born.

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SweetAsSpice · 12/12/2019 11:59

Everything @MonstranceClock said.

Don’t let them anywhere near your newborn. And don’t apologise for it either.

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Agentdickface · 12/12/2019 11:59

Anti vaxxers are the epitome of stupidity. I would absolutely not let them near my newborn.

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RhymingRabbit3 · 12/12/2019 12:00

I wouldnt allow them near until the baby when they are a newborn and might even consider waiting until the baby was over 1 and had their MMR jab. No way would I risk contracting measles or mumps at a young age.

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thiscouldbethehill · 12/12/2019 12:02

I would not allow them anywhere near my newborn.

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SomewhereInbetween1 · 12/12/2019 12:02

Steer well clear.

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rebecca102 · 12/12/2019 12:03

It's a no from me and I'd tell them I'm sorry but I can't risk it. People don't realise how easily newborns can catch things and it can be deadly. Everyone in my immediate family and a close friend who were going to see baby before she got her vaccinations got theirs half way through my pregnancy.

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Originalusernameunavailable · 12/12/2019 12:04

One particular friend is very open that she hasn’t allowed any vaccinations for her children since birth aged 10 and 8. So I do know this.

OP posts:
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OwlBeThere · 12/12/2019 12:04

Aaaaand less than 5 posts in the rudeness starts that the OP specifically asked not to happen. GrinHmm

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RevengeOfTheReindeer · 12/12/2019 12:05

There are many people who have had vaccinations who are unaware they are no longer covered as the vaccines wear off, they are as much of a ‘risk’ to your baby as the unvaccinated children.
One would hope though that an adult who is feeling a bit under the weather would have the sense not to visit a newborn. Whereas kids are so often ill that parents would often ignore something as teething or just a cold when it could be more serious. Plus one would also hope that an adults hygiene is superior to that of a child.

I wouldn't knowingly let anyone unvaccinated near my too young to be vaccinated child. Of course, you can never know 100% but you do the best to protect your child.

Would you prevent me visiting because I don't get the flu jab?
MIL wouldn't let BIL visit DS1 until he'd had the flu jab, nor would she let FIL visit until he'd had a couple of days quarantine after a long haul flight Grin

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Clangus00 · 12/12/2019 12:06

HELL NO!
Nope, no way.

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goodluckdontdie · 12/12/2019 12:07

The subject came up with a friend as to whether I would allow our friends who are anti-vaccinations

I wouldn't be friends with someone so stupid so this would never come up for me.

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OwlBeThere · 12/12/2019 12:07

@Originalusernameunavailable for what it’s worth though, as the parent of unvaccinated children if you didn’t want them around your baby I wouldn’t be mad or hold it against you. Most people I know who have unvaccinated children wouldn’t mind either. As your friend the last thing I’d want is you worried about your baby because of us. So you do what you feel is right, a true friend won’t mind

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sarahjconnor · 12/12/2019 12:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Agentdickface · 12/12/2019 12:11

Things like measles, whooping cough, chicken pox etc are often contagious before there are any symptoms.

I’ve had mumps. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone, let alone a tiny newborn.

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