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To display Christmas cards from relatives who have died

(113 Posts)
pipnchops Wed 11-Dec-19 08:24:49

I have 3 Christmas cards I always put up every year from people who have died. My mum saw them the other day and thinks it's strange. How this came about is every year I get out the pervious years Christmas cards and go through them to make a list of who to send cards to this year. Then I recycle the cards but I can never bring myself to throw away the card if that person has died so I display it and it reminds me of them over the Christmas period.
Is this strange?

Northernsoullover Wed 11-Dec-19 08:27:02

What a lovely idea. I don't have any Christmas cards left but I have some birthday cards from my nan. I think I'll put one up next year.

Sparklesocks Wed 11-Dec-19 08:27:36

It might be slightly unconventional but i think if it brings you comfort then it’s absolutely fine. It’s not harming anyone.

Hangingofftheboob Wed 11-Dec-19 08:28:32

Yeah sorry it’s a bit weird.

BooksAreMyOnlyFriends Wed 11-Dec-19 08:29:09

If it brings you comfort, then it's perfectly fine flowers

Babdoc Wed 11-Dec-19 08:30:04

That’s a lovely tradition OP. Rather like the toast to “Absent Friends” at the Christmas meal, it’s a way of remembering loved ones at a family occasion.
It doesn’t matter who thinks it’s weird - it feels right for you, and brings you comfort.

Dreamersandwishers Wed 11-Dec-19 08:30:16

Pipnchops, if you get pleasure/ comfort from being reminded of these people that’s fine and go right ahead. It’s good that they bring back nice memories.

I would just ask, kindly I hope, whether the cards make you feel melancholy and whether the grief is still raw for you?
In which case it may be a tad unhealthy.

Lofari Wed 11-Dec-19 08:31:23

Not something I've thought of before but what a lovely idea. A nod to those no longer with us x

EskewedBeef Wed 11-Dec-19 08:32:21

It's entirely up to you, but is an unusual thing to do I think, and may be difficult for other people who loved the deceased to see on display.

jamdhanihash Wed 11-Dec-19 08:32:30

First knee jerk reaction was 'weird' but on reflection I think it's lovely, and I wish I could do the same to remember my dead relatives. Great idea.

Magnificentbeast Wed 11-Dec-19 08:33:26

Lovely idea.

pipnchops Wed 11-Dec-19 08:34:20

Dreamer, overall the cards make me smile and remember the people. Obviously I'm sad I can't see them anymore but I kind of feel their presence when I look at the cards and that feels good.

Clangus00 Wed 11-Dec-19 08:35:04

I think it’s strange....but can fully understand why you would.

beethecrackon24995 Wed 11-Dec-19 08:35:49

Nice one op. I think that's a great idea. You may well have just passed that idea onto others !

runwithme Wed 11-Dec-19 08:37:17

It's a lovely idea. Wish I had cards from my dad and brother, I would definitely do that if I did. It's no different from seeing photos of your loved ones. It's your home, it brings you comfort so keep on doing it.

ShinyGiratina Wed 11-Dec-19 08:37:38

I used to do that with my cards from my dad after he died when I was a child. I still made cards for him too.

It gave me a lot of comfort and filled a bit of the gaping hole of grief.

Mulledwineinajug Wed 11-Dec-19 08:39:54

I think it’s lovely. If I still had a card from my best friend I’d display it.

BlouseAndSkirt Wed 11-Dec-19 08:44:48

Strange but that doesn’t mean bad.

If it means something to you, it is a lovely thing to do and whether it is ‘usual ‘, or what others think is irrelevant.

I can understand you not wanting to throw them away... so why not display them?

PineappleDanish Wed 11-Dec-19 08:50:28

It's a bit weird yes, but it's also not a big deal in terms of "weird stuff people do at Christmas".

MsPavlichenko Wed 11-Dec-19 08:51:45

My worry would be if someone read it, and was shocked/distressed if they're not expecting to see the name/names. If that's not a possibility that's different although I wouldn't do it myself as I'd find it more upsetting to have the cards than not.

LeosMamma Wed 11-Dec-19 08:51:47

That's really lovely; and, in fact, I might do that, too!

NannySusan Wed 11-Dec-19 08:55:13

My Mam did this when we were growing up. Christmas Cards were part of the decorations and particularly nice cards or cards from people who had died were brought out for years after they were first received.
I never thought of it as unusual, I suppose you don't question what is normal in childhood.

FlamingGoat Wed 11-Dec-19 08:57:18

My Mum died suddenly last year and I did this for my birthday and Christmas and will do it again this year. It gives me comfort to see her writing.

ArcheryAnnie Wed 11-Dec-19 08:57:47

I think it's a lovely idea. I might do that, too.

midep Wed 11-Dec-19 09:00:59

I've just opened my Christmas card box, I always keep last years cards to check spellings and names. On top are three cards that will go up first, the last three cards that my best friend sent before she died. She had quirky taste and I love her cards, makes me smile and feel a bit sad, but she's still part of my Christmas and always will be.

Are we a club of 2 OP?

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