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Am I an absolute mug?

(47 Posts)
Immyidiot Mon 09-Dec-19 22:23:50

DH mentioned that he had spoken to an old mutual friend (who is absolutely stunning might I add).
He explained how she’d posted a picture on Instagram of her in a very revealing bodysuit. He messaged her when he saw the picture and said ‘oh my god, you look so sexy. Wish my wife would wear something like that. Wow’. That’s what he told me he said anyway. I haven’t asked to see any proof.
I’m absolutely livid he spoke to another woman like this. He absolutely cannot see why I’m annoyed at him.
AIBU?

user1473878824 Mon 09-Dec-19 22:28:30

What the fuck?! So inappropriate and how did this even come up in conversation?!

gothefcktosleep Mon 09-Dec-19 22:28:37

Did he say that to get a rise out of you?

Choice4567 Mon 09-Dec-19 22:29:27

Did he say why he was telling you?! I'd be fuming. Completely inappropriate

BalsamicVin Mon 09-Dec-19 22:30:29

YABU to stay with a sleazy fucker

Immyidiot Mon 09-Dec-19 22:31:41

No idea why he bought it up. He said it so calmly and seriously and genuinely cannot see why I’m annoyed about it.

rhubarbcrumbles Mon 09-Dec-19 22:34:38

Pin a picture of Borat (complete with mankini) to the fridge with a note saying 'so sexy, in only you would wear one' and see what he thinks of that.

Immyidiot Mon 09-Dec-19 22:38:19

@rhubarbcrumbles oh my god grin

Ohyesiam Mon 09-Dec-19 22:39:17

Blimy he’s brave to tell you that. Many men have lost a testicle for less!

Does he have an ulterior motive, like shaming you?

Sparklfairy Mon 09-Dec-19 22:41:53

It's negging in one form or another. Designed to put you down and erode your self esteem.

MadameButterface Mon 09-Dec-19 22:43:18

“ He absolutely cannot see why I’m annoyed at him. ”

Bollocks. Does he often gaslight you like this? What a cunt

PepePig Mon 09-Dec-19 22:46:03

He's disgusting.

Hayl3e Mon 09-Dec-19 22:47:54

Straight up, you have well and truly been mugged off! He can understand why you're mad, he just won't admit it because that means he has to accept what he's done is inherently wrong.

HappyHoolet Mon 09-Dec-19 22:49:44

TF?!

Nooooooo.

Magicpaintbrush Mon 09-Dec-19 22:50:08

That is unforgivably disrespectful, hurtful and wrong. How emotionally vacant is he that he can't see that??

Wakingupnow Mon 09-Dec-19 22:51:18

If hes said nothing wrong, he'll have no problem in you sharing this lovely anecdote with his friends and family in passing.hmm

No, thought not.

AcrobaticCardigan Mon 09-Dec-19 22:51:39

Oh wow. I am seething on your behalf OP!

pumpkinpie01 Mon 09-Dec-19 22:53:35

So so disrespectful, I would be fuming

nurseymummyx Mon 09-Dec-19 22:53:56

Oh bless your heart you are not a mug, but he is grin get him gone what a twat.

ThatssomebadhatHarry Mon 09-Dec-19 22:55:40

Of course he knows why your pissed off. This is why he told you. So you a) try harder to please him. B) get jealous and give him an ego boost C) both

Craftycorvid Mon 09-Dec-19 22:56:51

My response to such transparent twattery would be along the lines of - ‘well, I wish my spouse would develop some tact and sensitivity...or a brain....never mind!’

iamtinkabella Mon 09-Dec-19 22:59:46

i am so unbelievably angry on your behalf, OP. Get one over on him (well i would anywaysmile) then decide if hes worth being in your life

memaymamo Mon 09-Dec-19 23:18:18

If you want to be mature about this (and you may not, because he wasn't), sit him down and explain why it was hurtful and inappropriate. Ask him how he'd feel if you saw a picture of a male friend lifting weights at the gym, muscles and penis bulging out everywhere, and you commented, "OMG, now that's a man! Can you tell my DH to work out too so he's as hot as you?" Or similar.

If he can't empathise and say sorry, then you've got bigger problems.

Personally I think it's a bit of a plus that he told you at least, it makes him look stupid-sleazy rather than underhanded-sleazy. Maybe there's hope for him to change

AlwaysDancing1234 Mon 09-Dec-19 23:18:46

Sounds like he wants to get a reaction out of you, nasty.

TimeForNewStart Mon 09-Dec-19 23:20:56

But that woman will now think he’s fishing for an affair!!!

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