A long back story but will try to be brief.
SIL has mental health issues (anxiety and depression) and lives with PILs. After DH and I got married SIL has always ended up causing some sort of issue every time I am around. We would see them around twice a year as they live 9 hour drive away. I completely get SIL is unwell so i would ignore things she said or did ( throwing objects at me (this happened once), leaving the room when I would enter, saying nasty things about me loudly so I would hear to extend family members, being rude etc). Not once have I every said anything back to SIL just so I wouldn’t antagonise her and make her illness worse.
Things came to a head two years ago when she physically attacked me because she got upset (She asked me how long I was visiting for and I said 5 days) and wanted me to leave PILs house immediately however it was past midnight and my 1 year old DC was sleeping and I refused to leave DC. During this outburst she was begging DH to “divorce that bitch” and blamed me for her metal health issues, her unemployment and for the reason she does not have a partner or children. She said that her family was destroyed the day we got married.
I have not seen or heard from my in-laws since this incident 2 years ago (DH has visited on his own). I will admit I have not contacted them either however, this was because they told DH SIL did not attack me and implied I was lying. I had planned to go for dinner earlier this year however on the day in laws told DH not to bring me as they didn’t know how my SIL would react to me being pregnant.
We have now had DC2 four months ago. PIL have not come to see the baby (or spoke to me) but want DH to bring both kids to them for xmas. DC2 is breastfed so I would have to go along too. I have also found out SIL was sectioned for 2 months and was released from hospital a month ago.
AIBU to not let my kids be around SIL when she clearly has so much hatred towards me? PIL clearly don’t give a fuck about me either so why should I bother taking the kids to them for Christmas?
I suggested to DH they come to us for Christmas ( I even invited SIL) but PIL says it’s too cold where we stay (central Scotland not the bloody artic).
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AIBU?
To refuse to take DC to see PIL for xmas
130 replies
oytugyhyguu · 09/12/2019 05:02
OP posts:
Am I being unreasonable?
883 votes. Final results.
POLL
You are being unreasonable
1%
You are NOT being unreasonable
99%
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