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Teenager buying for GF

(178 Posts)
DBML Sun 08-Dec-19 15:39:46

I have a teen boy (15). He wants to get his gf of four months a gift for Christmas. He’s met her a handful of times.

I’ve set a budget of £30 for him to spend, but apparently this is unreasonable and he wants more so he doesn’t “look cheap”.

AIBU and how do I navigate this without another huge and hormonal argument?

Gatehouse77 Sun 08-Dec-19 15:40:41

Can he earn money to top it up?

DBML Sun 08-Dec-19 15:44:47


He could I suppose, but I’m giving him the £30, so I was expecting him to help out for that. He gets £50 a month pocket money, which he spends on the cinema; Xbox live etc. He told me it’s my responsibility to get her present as I’m the earner. I’m not feeling very generous towards him at the mo to be honest.

Fluffycloudland77 Sun 08-Dec-19 15:46:22

No, I’m not surprised.

Gatehouse77 Sun 08-Dec-19 15:46:47

Woah! It’s most definitely not your responsibility 🤬 Where’s he got that idea from?

namechange4052 Sun 08-Dec-19 15:47:16

He doesn't want to look cheap, but it's also your responsibility to pay for the present 😂 aren't teenagers brilliant.

ItsChristmaaaaaaaaas Sun 08-Dec-19 15:47:19

£30 is more than enough! He could get a nice piece of silver jewellery for that.

Aderyn19 Sun 08-Dec-19 15:47:22

Definitely not your responsibility. If he's old enough to have a gf, he's old enough to buy her a Christmas present himself. He's lucky you are giving him £30 - the rest should come from his money. If he CBA to give up his cash for his gf, why the bloody hell should you?

bridgetreilly Sun 08-Dec-19 15:47:39

No. It's his responsibility to get her the present out of his allowance. If that's not enough, he needs to earn any extra that he wants.

Duchessgummybuns Sun 08-Dec-19 15:47:43

He told me it’s my responsibility to get her present as I’m the earner.

Don’t know where to start with that one OP. Good luck.

JennyBlueWren Sun 08-Dec-19 15:47:48

He gets £50 a month -he can buy it from that.

Gatehouse77 Sun 08-Dec-19 15:47:55

My tactic would be to reduce the amount I’m offering every time he argues but I’d tell him in advance that’s what will happen.

Winterdaysarehere Sun 08-Dec-19 15:47:57

I have suggested ds 15 does his gf a stocking.
She has spent £100 on him..

merryhouse Sun 08-Dec-19 15:49:07

Sod that for a game of soldiers.

He wants to buy something, he uses his pocket money. That's what it's for.

Tell him if she dumps him for not having any money, he's better off without her anyway.

(no, obviously, don't....)

Whatsername177 Sun 08-Dec-19 15:49:19

For that comment alone, I'd offer him nothing more than an advance on his pocket money and tell them that it is HIS girlfriend, therefore HIS responsibility to buy for her out of HIS allowance. You are very generous to give him that much money. Do not let him guilt trip or blackmail you. Don't give him any extra and make sure you take the money back from his allowance, even if its £10 per month for a few months.

Chocolate1984 Sun 08-Dec-19 15:49:23

I’d actually take the offer of £30 back and make his save up his own pocket money. If he wants to buy his girlfriend a present he needs to save up his money.

Sherrybabyy Sun 08-Dec-19 15:49:24

He told me it’s my responsibility to get her present as I’m the earner
No way. Tell him if he wants to get more, he needs to use his own money. After that comment, I’m not even sure I’d be giving him £30

Parky04 Sun 08-Dec-19 15:50:27

I would withdraw the £30 and he would end up with nothing. He is so ungrateful.

Pipandmum Sun 08-Dec-19 15:50:57

My 16 year old has quite a serious girlfriend and I know he'll spend £100 on her. But he has a part time job and will pay for it himself. Her mother on the other hand - he stays over alot more than the girls stays here and I know she got him a nice present so I gave him £30 to get her something.

Actionhasmagic Sun 08-Dec-19 15:51:23

He could get a nice piece of jewellery online or Argos for £30 but maybe offer extra money for chores

Gorbie Sun 08-Dec-19 15:52:10

My 13.5 yr old brought his girlfriend a fairly decent size box of chocolates from Thorntons he brought it out of his own pocket money.

DBML Sun 08-Dec-19 15:54:30

I’ve always felt so smug that I had such a good boy. Loving, thoughtful, well behaved. No trouble at all.

Then he turned 14. What happened?!

Great advice all. I feel less mean and more set that I’m being very reasonable.

£100 @Winterdaysarehere 😮 madness at this age!

Bluebutterfly90 Sun 08-Dec-19 15:55:35

I'm surprised you're willing to give him 30!
He's been with this girl 4 months and gets 50 quid a month anyway?
I'm going to sound like an old grump but some kids don't know how good they've got it!
Just put your foot down, 30, take it or leave it. You're being more than generous.

bridgetreilly Sun 08-Dec-19 15:56:00

Her mother on the other hand - he stays over alot more than the girls stays here and I know she got him a nice present so I gave him £30 to get her something.

That's a nice thing to have done, and I think that's really appropriate for you to offer to pay for.

mcmen05 Sun 08-Dec-19 16:00:00

They could be finished any time. Get her a small bottle off perfume. My dd 16 and 14 have had bfs they never buy presents before this year but could be different I'll just wait and see if they get something and then buy back. Alot off teenagers don't bother.

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