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To think a lot of the hard luck stories on here are people hoping to be sent money and goods?

(149 Posts)
silverpurplegold Sun 08-Dec-19 10:36:58

It used to happen a LOT more. I was reading some old threads this morning looking for something I remembered and came across a lot of tales of woe and hardship.

Have you ever sent money or goods to anybody? Were they genuine?

RJnomore1 Sun 08-Dec-19 10:39:32

I think you are right.

I did once send a poster an amazon voucher to buy something for her child’s Christmas but I was absolutely convinced she was genuine, and had had a terrible time, plus I could afford it even if I was wrong.
There seem less now but before Xmas there’s always a cluster of new posters with no money and no way to action any of the suggestions given which makes me hmm

silverpurplegold Sun 08-Dec-19 10:40:45

It’s the time of year, although the election has overshadowed them a bit.

It annoys me as I want advice but I’d be on reddit as a beggar. And I’m not! fgrin

easyandy101 Sun 08-Dec-19 10:44:01

For real

But likewise i don't see it as much as i did before, haven't seen a mnhq intervention in a while anyway.

I've never sent anyone from here anything but on my other forum there's a round buying thing and I've sent people drinks on that (milk and woowoos)

RJnomore1 Sun 08-Dec-19 10:45:44

Well you don’t have any posting history! I think that’s the first raised eyebrow. If it’s advice you’re after ask here though, you’ve made it clear enough what you need.

That’s the sad thing about trolls, they put genuine people off asking for help.

silverpurplegold Sun 08-Dec-19 10:46:37

Well, I do namechange pretty much every time I post! I’ve been on ages though. But yes re trolls!

TooTrueToBeGood Sun 08-Dec-19 10:49:09

Some maybe, but many not. Christmas is a particularly hard time of year for people who are struggling. Your cynicism will be a kick in the guts for those genuinely looking for emotional support.

InterstellarDrifter Sun 08-Dec-19 10:52:43

I’ve seen a few of these threads. I think people are more clued up and will respond along the lines of ‘Christmas isn’t about money, lots of free things to do, spend time with kids doing baking and reading, go to charity shops’. Op usually goes quiet.

Andysbestadventure Sun 08-Dec-19 10:53:16

Most are begging threads. You can spot them a mile off. These people do it day in day out and have several on the go at once across loads of forums, facebook pages, everywhere.

NaomiFromMilkShake Sun 08-Dec-19 10:54:54

I got done several times in the early years, in particular one September for a child who didn't have a red cardigan to go back to school in. We were particularly strapped that year, but I did it any way, a week later she was on here bemoaning her hangover following a big night out. We hadn't been out in months.

Gave up after that.

BanginChoons Sun 08-Dec-19 10:56:36

If someone is really struggling, I don't think it's necessarily a bad thing for them to hope to be sent money or goods. It's really tough at Xmas if you have no money, particularly if you have kids.
Although, i dont think its right we assume they must be expecting donations when they may just be hoping for some empathy and moral support if they are struggling.

ChristmasCroissant Sun 08-Dec-19 11:01:33

I don't see a problem asking for advice on here - lots of posters can point you to the right places to ask for further help.

It's when all the advice is rebuffed or not suitable for some reason that eyebrows are raised.

SquareAsABlock Sun 08-Dec-19 11:03:00

There are so many begging threads on here, I really hope people have the sense never to give money or otherwise online. Heck, it happens too often in real life as well. I helped a friend out with a weekly shop as she apparently could only feed her child toast all week. There was soon plenty of evidence that she could afford treats for herself and she'd pulled this stunt before. That's not to say that people aren't suffering, my goodness so many are. However, the internet if full of liars and chances, especially when it comes to AIBU (and Relationships hmm).

No harm in asking for advice, as long as it's not a ridiculous story of woe and 'oh I dont have family/anything to sell/can't get any work/oh I'll just make something for my kids present, it's all good, honest guv they wont be devastated little souls sad'.

RJnomore1 Sun 08-Dec-19 11:03:53

Sorry silver that wasn’t meant to suggest anything about you!

OrangeZog Sun 08-Dec-19 11:04:39


HalyardHitch Sun 08-Dec-19 11:05:34

I posted a thread here asking for advice once. I was shocked at the number of people who messaged me offering things

silverpurplegold Sun 08-Dec-19 11:06:11

No, I’d feel the same RJ.

I think what strikes me is that some people are quite good at it. Twenty Mumsnetters offering £10 - well that’s Christmas sorted, especially if you take in some food parcels and gifts as well!

HalyardHitch Sun 08-Dec-19 11:06:19

I politely said no thank you to every single one but it was a little embarrassing

SquareAsABlock Sun 08-Dec-19 11:06:32

It's really tough at Xmas if you have no money, particularly if you have kids.

It is, but there are places that can help outside the kindness of internet strangers. I've donated to Satire Aid this year, but I'm sure there are many similar projects going on. At least I know theres a better chance of those gifts going to those truly in need, rather than a scammer. As I said, absolutely nothing wrong in asking advice, as long as the poster isn't actually expecting a PayPal or someone is dumb enough to give money and such.

GunpowderGelatine Sun 08-Dec-19 11:06:37

The cynical side of me agrees with you and being swept up in an emotional story can lead people to hasty decisions. I see it on Facebook too

silverpurplegold Sun 08-Dec-19 11:15:33

That’s fshock halyard

Polydactyly Sun 08-Dec-19 11:42:45

I could never do this. I'd feel terrible. I can't explain why. Although I have always been adamant that a sugar daddy would solve all my problems which I think might be a similar thing. DP refuses to get a sugar mumma even though he's the pretty one in the relationship and could easily get one and sort the whole family out. Lazy CF

Lulualla Sun 08-Dec-19 11:49:18

I did give a food parcel to a mumsnetter who turned out to be really local to me. She wasn't asking for anything in the thread, just advice on budget recipes etc but after several of her posts, I realised I knew her and I knew she was genuine so pop round with a box of food for the week. This was years ago though. I wouldn't send money or anything to anyone random, but would if I knew them.

EssentialHummus Sun 08-Dec-19 11:53:07

I once sent somebody something. She had a long posting history, details checked out, location checked out... I don't regret it. I'm as cynical as they come generally.

MamImHere Sun 08-Dec-19 11:56:02

I once posted a thread about really struggling for money as a single mother on benefits.
People sent me messages offering money and I politely declined every one because I was actually just looking for emotional support.
Thankfully things have improved now

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