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AIBU?

To say no to this request

81 replies

Summertime2 · 08/12/2019 09:36

We have an exchange student (15yr old) staying with us for a month in January and DH has also invited his parents to stay for a weekend. We only have one spare room so this already means our 2 kids bunking in together and no extra beds. Now DBIL has asked us to have his 2 kids for the weekend as DSIL is away and he wants to go to a party and then a day out with friends on the Sunday.

I feel inclined to say sorry, no, already got a houseful including a teenager we've never met and are expected to entertain and "show London" plus juggling kids sporting commitments and entertaining the grandparents.

But should I just relax and go with the flow, another couple of kids won't make a difference?

OP posts:

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Ffsnosexallowed · 08/12/2019 09:37

Of course you can say no!

Thehop · 08/12/2019 09:38

Say no!

IdleBet · 08/12/2019 09:38

If you've got no space then how can you say yes?

Seeline · 08/12/2019 09:38

I would say no, not just for yourself, but also for the poor exchange student. I would think she would be totally overwhelmed with so many different people around!

BammBamm · 08/12/2019 09:38

I'd definitely say no in those circumstances

ThisIsSunrise · 08/12/2019 09:39

The children may well enjoy it if they all get on, but otherwise do say no!

Autumnfresh · 08/12/2019 09:39

Say no. He can get a babysitter like normal people.

Summertime2 · 08/12/2019 09:39

We already replied and said it would be difficult cos no beds so they'd have to sleep on the floor in sleeping bags- but that would be fine apparently

OP posts:

DeepDarkWoods · 08/12/2019 09:39

Just say no, it's too much.

SquareAsABlock · 08/12/2019 09:40

Now DBIL has asked us to have his 2 kids for the weekend as DSIL is away and he wants to go to a party and then a day out with friends on the Sunday.

Ah, well it's just tough shit sadly. His wife has 'booked' that time off from the kids so it's not his turn to go out partying. No room at yours so he just has to suck it up and miss out this time, he has the kids.

ZenNudist · 08/12/2019 09:40

Easy. Say no

ItsChristmaaaaaaaaas · 08/12/2019 09:41

I’d say yes - but I have problems saying no! It’s not ideal and you will be tripping over kids! Oh and the cooking and washing up 😱

How old are they all? Old enough to entertain themselves?

IdleBet · 08/12/2019 09:41

Your reply was wishy washy and gave him an opening.

SquareAsABlock · 08/12/2019 09:41

We already replied and said it would be difficult cos no beds so they'd have to sleep on the floor in sleeping bags

Argh, why did you give a solution whilst saying no! Stop being nice about it, theres no room that's more than enough reason.

GabriellaMontez · 08/12/2019 09:42

I'd say no. Perfectly reasonable. Unfair o his children anyway.

Chamomileteaplease · 08/12/2019 09:43

Of course it's fine for your BIL - he doesn't care! It's you who will have all the work.

You are allowed to say no .

It's the worst weekend in the world for him to pick. Just apologise and say no. No NO!

PS Make sure your husband gets everything ready for his parents if he's the one who invited them.

ivykaty44 · 08/12/2019 09:43

If you need to ask then the answer is no

AnneLovesGilbert · 08/12/2019 09:43

Fine for him maybe but it doesn’t work for you. And as it’s your home he doesn’t get to decide! “No, that’s not going to work”. Don’t apologise as you’re not in the wrong. Chump.

GabriellaMontez · 08/12/2019 09:43

"Dear bil having thought again about the practicalities it's too much. Sorry we can't help you this time."

BaronessBomburst · 08/12/2019 09:44

It's not fair on the exchange student!
Why should your whole family (and a stranger you are hosting) put themselves out for BIL?

LightDrizzle · 08/12/2019 09:44

Do your SIL a favour and say no!

Maybe I’m massively wrong here, maybe he’s always wrangling the kids on his own, but if he isn’t, then he’s a cheeky spineless fucker for being unable to parent his own children without his wife’s help for one poxy weekend.

HeddaGarbled · 08/12/2019 09:44

No, not fair on the exchange student, who you made the first commitment to.

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DeepDarkWoods · 08/12/2019 09:45

He can pick another weekend to go out. He needs to look after his own kids that weekend.

Scarydinosaurs · 08/12/2019 09:45

Just say no- you won’t be able to look after them.

If you say yes and something happens whilst they’re in your care then you’ve accepted it.

Look after yourself first.

Josephinebettany · 08/12/2019 09:48

You shouldn't have said they could sleep on the floor. Sure you agreed by saying that. Now you'll have to clearly say sorry you've thought about it but you just cannot do it that wknd

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