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To say no to this request

(82 Posts)
Summertime2 Sun 08-Dec-19 09:36:35

We have an exchange student (15yr old) staying with us for a month in January and DH has also invited his parents to stay for a weekend. We only have one spare room so this already means our 2 kids bunking in together and no extra beds. Now DBIL has asked us to have his 2 kids for the weekend as DSIL is away and he wants to go to a party and then a day out with friends on the Sunday.

I feel inclined to say sorry, no, already got a houseful including a teenager we've never met and are expected to entertain and "show London" plus juggling kids sporting commitments and entertaining the grandparents.

But should I just relax and go with the flow, another couple of kids won't make a difference?

Ffsnosexallowed Sun 08-Dec-19 09:37:44

Of course you can say no!

Thehop Sun 08-Dec-19 09:38:19

Say no!

IdleBet Sun 08-Dec-19 09:38:22

If you've got no space then how can you say yes?

Seeline Sun 08-Dec-19 09:38:54

I would say no, not just for yourself, but also for the poor exchange student. I would think she would be totally overwhelmed with so many different people around!

BammBamm Sun 08-Dec-19 09:38:58

I'd definitely say no in those circumstances

ThisIsSunrise Sun 08-Dec-19 09:39:15

The children may well enjoy it if they all get on, but otherwise do say no!

Autumnfresh Sun 08-Dec-19 09:39:21

Say no. He can get a babysitter like normal people.

Summertime2 Sun 08-Dec-19 09:39:26

We already replied and said it would be difficult cos no beds so they'd have to sleep on the floor in sleeping bags- but that would be fine apparently

DeepDarkWoods Sun 08-Dec-19 09:39:33

Just say no, it's too much.

ZenNudist Sun 08-Dec-19 09:40:30

Easy. Say no

SquareAsABlock Sun 08-Dec-19 09:40:30

Now DBIL has asked us to have his 2 kids for the weekend as DSIL is away and he wants to go to a party and then a day out with friends on the Sunday.

Ah, well it's just tough shit sadly. His wife has 'booked' that time off from the kids so it's not his turn to go out partying. No room at yours so he just has to suck it up and miss out this time, he has the kids.

ItsChristmaaaaaaaaas Sun 08-Dec-19 09:41:28

I’d say yes - but I have problems saying no! It’s not ideal and you will be tripping over kids! Oh and the cooking and washing up 😱

How old are they all? Old enough to entertain themselves?

IdleBet Sun 08-Dec-19 09:41:45

Your reply was wishy washy and gave him an opening.

SquareAsABlock Sun 08-Dec-19 09:41:46

We already replied and said it would be difficult cos no beds so they'd have to sleep on the floor in sleeping bags

Argh, why did you give a solution whilst saying no! Stop being nice about it, theres no room that's more than enough reason.

GabriellaMontez Sun 08-Dec-19 09:42:54

I'd say no. Perfectly reasonable. Unfair o his children anyway.

Chamomileteaplease Sun 08-Dec-19 09:43:29

Of course it's fine for your BIL - he doesn't care! It's you who will have all the work.

You are allowed to say no smile.

It's the worst weekend in the world for him to pick. Just apologise and say no. No NO!

PS Make sure your husband gets everything ready for his parents if he's the one who invited them.

ivykaty44 Sun 08-Dec-19 09:43:33

If you need to ask then the answer is no

AnneLovesGilbert Sun 08-Dec-19 09:43:47

Fine for him maybe but it doesn’t work for you. And as it’s your home he doesn’t get to decide! “No, that’s not going to work”. Don’t apologise as you’re not in the wrong. Chump.

GabriellaMontez Sun 08-Dec-19 09:43:58

"Dear bil having thought again about the practicalities it's too much. Sorry we can't help you this time."

BaronessBomburst Sun 08-Dec-19 09:44:21

It's not fair on the exchange student!
Why should your whole family (and a stranger you are hosting) put themselves out for BIL?

LightDrizzle Sun 08-Dec-19 09:44:29

Do your SIL a favour and say no!

Maybe I’m massively wrong here, maybe he’s always wrangling the kids on his own, but if he isn’t, then he’s a cheeky spineless fucker for being unable to parent his own children without his wife’s help for one poxy weekend.

HeddaGarbled Sun 08-Dec-19 09:44:36

No, not fair on the exchange student, who you made the first commitment to.

DeepDarkWoods Sun 08-Dec-19 09:45:04

He can pick another weekend to go out. He needs to look after his own kids that weekend.

Scarydinosaurs Sun 08-Dec-19 09:45:19

Just say no- you won’t be able to look after them.

If you say yes and something happens whilst they’re in your care then you’ve accepted it.

Look after yourself first.

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