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To be annoyed at husband regarding cleaning

(494 Posts)
User40465 Sun 08-Dec-19 09:05:30

My husband works away 4-6 weeks at a time and around a week before he comes home he sends me lists of everything in the house he wants cleaned. He basically wants the house to look like a show house.

Just to point out i am clean but just not as squeaky OCD clean as he is. I work and have 2 children under 5 so think it’s abit unfair for him to expect it when he could help me when he comes home?


Beagled Sun 08-Dec-19 09:07:13

That’s ridiculous. I’d be telling him he needs to pay for a cleaner.

Winterdaysarehere Sun 08-Dec-19 09:08:53

Send him a list of all you want doing when he gets back.
Detailed list...

Ginseng1 Sun 08-Dec-19 09:09:45

Is this for real? If this is true why would need to even ask?

DeathStare Sun 08-Dec-19 09:09:46

Controlling, much?

Queenoftheashes Sun 08-Dec-19 09:09:49


TheHootiestOwl Sun 08-Dec-19 09:10:19

Your DH is a fucking twat.

DieHardISaChristmasFilm Sun 08-Dec-19 09:10:26

Tell him to fuck off.

NotStayingIn Sun 08-Dec-19 09:16:10

Please please tell me you do realise how utterly bizarre and wrong this is? Why on earth did you ever do this? The very first time you should have replied and said very funny. confused Stop this now OP and have some self respect. flowers

KittenVsXmastree Sun 08-Dec-19 09:16:54

If he is away for 4-6 weeks, does that then mean he has a week or 2 at home before he returns?
Surely he can do the cleaning in his down time???

00100001 Sun 08-Dec-19 09:18:27

What would he do if you didn't do the tasks?

Mammylamb Sun 08-Dec-19 09:18:34

With a job and two under 5, I’m surprised you can get any cleaning done.

You dh sounds like a prick.

Ps If you have the money; get a cleaner xx

User40465 Sun 08-Dec-19 09:19:01

Wow responses make it very clear that it’s not normal blush

I have been doing it for around 3 years but I have a lot going on at the moment and feeling really down and he has “reminded” me of a list this morning and it’s just wound me up

User40465 Sun 08-Dec-19 09:20:28

He will be at home for around 3 weeks.

There was once I didn’t do it cause I was poorly and he made me do the jobs with him the day after he got home

TheHootiestOwl Sun 08-Dec-19 09:21:23

Tell him to fuck off.

Hugsgalore Sun 08-Dec-19 09:22:50

He is either a massive control freak or he has serious germ issues. If it's the latter he needs help and if it's the former then get the fuck out of there.

IVEgotthetinselBITCHES Sun 08-Dec-19 09:22:52

Are you his wife or staff?

dementedpixie Sun 08-Dec-19 09:23:05

You're not his maid. Can you give us an idea of the list he gives you? Sounds insane

Morgan12 Sun 08-Dec-19 09:23:08

How did he make you? Surely you could just tell him to do it?

What kind of things are on this list?

TheHootiestOwl Sun 08-Dec-19 09:23:39

Is he this controlling about everything?

He made you clean the next day? He can’t make you. What happens if you say no?

User40465 Sun 08-Dec-19 09:24:36

So worried about this being outing but never mind... here is one page

00100001 Sun 08-Dec-19 09:24:47

He " he made me do the jobs with him the day after he got home"


Let him do it himself next time. Be busy with anything else.

MissMoiselle Sun 08-Dec-19 09:24:50

YANBU. My husband used to do this, albeit using "could you please...?/ don't forget to...? / it'd be helpful if you.." and it used to really rub me the wrong way. Then I did what @Winterdayarehere said. Did it once, he never left a list again! Does your DH have a military background or is he an only child, by chance?

billybagpuss Sun 08-Dec-19 09:25:13

‘Sorry I’m not able to do it, do you want me to arrange a cleaner or will you do it when you get back?’

Scarydinosaurs Sun 08-Dec-19 09:25:23

Surely it isn’t OCD if he is the one ordering you to do it?

Does he tidy himself?

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