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It's not that hard to feed a baby

(181 Posts)
ohfucksake Sun 08-Dec-19 09:04:09


Sciurus83 Sun 08-Dec-19 09:05:34


ohfucksake Sun 08-Dec-19 09:09:50

Oh ffs I posted too soon

In quick format

Asked dp to help me with the baby this weekend as no excuse not to he hasn't got to get up for work etc

We have a prep machine so hardly rocket science.

Sat night fed him but didn't put the lid on bottle properly so soaked the baby - who wouldn't settle as was cold and wet. So I had to get up and change entirely and fed a whole another 5oz bottle. When I washed the bottles in the morning it was full of powder he said yes couldn't shake it properly as was leaking 😖

This morning I asked him to get up with the baby at 0600 as I'd been up loads in the night. He's made a bottle. No fresh milk powder. Not a clean bottle. Just more water in a bottle that had some left in from the night.

Fuck sake. Useless idiot. I go back to work doing nights in a few weeks. This isn't acceptable it's shoddy and lazy to just blame being tired. We are all tired. What he's done is shit and one day will lead to our baby being unwell.

Doyoumind Sun 08-Dec-19 09:12:06

Strategic incompetence. I don't think he really wants to do it properly.

CloudyVanilla Sun 08-Dec-19 09:12:13

That's pathetic of him I have to say..

Why did you have to get up when he wet the baby? I'd find this useless man childless extremely off putting

CloudyVanilla Sun 08-Dec-19 09:12:41


Bananacloud Sun 08-Dec-19 09:13:12

Dumb bastard

CloudyVanilla Sun 08-Dec-19 09:13:49

Also if your baby is very young he is putting them at risk, between the not shook up powder and the putting new milk in a dirty old bottle

ohfucksake Sun 08-Dec-19 09:14:37

@CloudyVanilla because I could hear baby not happy and dp waving phone torch around to find battery so I got up in anger in the end to get the dummy which would be by the baby's head in the cot to discover the baby soaking wet clothes. And baby wide awake as I couldn't understand a normally a bottle and ge goes back off to sleep immediately. I put two and two together and made another bottle which he drank in entirety but discovered the bottle with the lid not on properly in the morning when I washed them up. It had been mis screwed on.

NotYourHun Sun 08-Dec-19 09:14:43

How old is baby? Presumably at least a few months old if you are going back to work? He should be an expert at this by now.

JacquesHammer Sun 08-Dec-19 09:14:49

Wilful ignorance. He’s doing the job deliberately badly so you will end up doing it.

SuperSimpleSnogs Sun 08-Dec-19 09:17:19

How old is baby? Has he ever done a feed before?! My DH doesn't do loads with our baby as he works extremely long hours but he's capable of feeding and changing DS without my input and doing it properly!

CloudyVanilla Sun 08-Dec-19 09:18:15

Sorry OP what I mean is why didn't you tell DP he needed to do it? It does sound like strategic incompetence and I'd be really worried he would be willing to put a tiny baby through that just because he cant really be bothered.

Hope you have calm but strong words with him and things change.

ohfucksake Sun 08-Dec-19 09:19:16

Baby is over 4 months. Been bottle feeding at least 8 weeks. He's done 3 night feeds 2 of those were those this weekend.

I am so tired of being the only adult when it comes to this baby.

LannieDuck Sun 08-Dec-19 09:20:59

He needs to do it more to practice.

Soubriquet Sun 08-Dec-19 09:22:22

He’s messing up on purpose so you will do it

He needs to practice a lot more

BuffaloCauliflower Sun 08-Dec-19 09:23:05

Does he hold down a job alright? In which case he’s clearly not completely incompetent and unable to learn. I agree it’s strategic incompetence and I wouldn’t stand for it. Make sure he does every feed today as he clearly needs the practice

WhatsNextMrsLandingham Sun 08-Dec-19 09:23:40

Does he ever say "but you do it SO much better than me" OP? It's his baby too and he needs to learn how to look after someone who is entirely dependent on those around him to keep him warm, fed, clean, safe etc. Your partner is being a pathetic arsehole. We all cut corners when we're sleep deprived, we've all found little hacks that work for us, but reusing a dirty bottle without proper washing is not one of them. You are not being unreasonable. Tell him to grow the fuck up.

Scarydinosaurs Sun 08-Dec-19 09:23:55

He needs to stop being sloppy.

How often does he feed during the day?

ohfucksake Sun 08-Dec-19 09:25:12

It's just dawned on me he's never really been left with the baby on his own. Mainly because i don't go out any where without him at weekends etc.

This is our only baby together. his ex wife exclusively breast fed and he was initially very snobby about me bottle feeding. Arse hole.

ohfucksake Sun 08-Dec-19 09:26:24

@WhatsNextMrsLandingham there were clean bottles and powder right there. I take the prep machine clean bottles and milk ore measured out in one of those dispensary pots up in a bag every night to our room

xJune88 Sun 08-Dec-19 09:29:06

Theres really no excuse me and dp both knew how to use the milk machine the day we bought it. You do need to leave him with baby on his own but I'd be worried if hes so incompetent!

loutypips Sun 08-Dec-19 09:29:58

Strategic incompetence. I don't think he really wants to do it properly.

This. He's probably thinking if I bugger this up then I'll get out of doing it.
To get round that I'd buy bottles of pre-made so all he has to do is pour. Do you have a microwave steriliser?

Notopel Sun 08-Dec-19 09:30:21

We had those bottles too where If you forgot the plastic ‘cap’, it would leak all over the place. A few times where DS got completely soaked in the middle of the night and then had to do a full change soon helped me remember about it. Let your DH deal with it. He won’t learn if you keep bailing him out

FairyJuice Sun 08-Dec-19 09:30:22

This morning I asked him to get up with the baby at 0600 as I'd been up loads in the night. He's made a bottle. No fresh milk powder. Not a clean bottle. Just more water in a bottle that had some left in from the night

Wtaf??? shock hmm What a useless bastard op. What kind of excuse did he give for not bothering to try and make up a fresh bottle? Do you think he's making a shitty passive aggressive stance against you not breastfeeding?

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