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About cutting grapes

(181 Posts)
user1471433387 Sun 08-Dec-19 01:57:03

We have a 2.5 year old and the other day I noticed DH was cutting grapes widthways for her. I said that you’re meant to cut them lengthways in order for them not to be a choking hazard. I notice today he’s put some grapes out for our daughter and again they’re cut widthways not lengthways. I asked him in future to please cut them lengthways but he’s refusing!

WIBU? Am I being over the top?

I think quarter ways is probably best but there’s no way he’d agree to that.

CareOfPunts Sun 08-Dec-19 02:02:11


what’s his problem? He sounds like an arse.

Ponoka7 Sun 08-Dec-19 02:02:14

Send him the links to child deaths, one girl was six.

He's putting her safety at risk for no good reason except his stubbornness.

1300cakes Sun 08-Dec-19 02:02:45

Why bother cutting them at all if you are cutting width wise?

MagicMojito Sun 08-Dec-19 02:12:58

I cut the big ones into four so I'm definitely on your side OP. Yanbu.

powershowerforanhour Sun 08-Dec-19 02:24:16

One of the top results that comes up when you google "choking grapes".
I'd stand over him and make him google "choking grapes" and take his pick of what to read- they all say the same thing as you.

powershowerforanhour Sun 08-Dec-19 02:32:10

Also, if he's going to be a deliberately stubborn dick about health and safety, he can do it with his own health and safety.
It's the worst kind of childish to keep doing it wrongly deliberately just because you tild him not to.
Stacking the dishwasher arseways, not ripping the pizza boxes up enough for the compost after being told- merely annoying. Chopping the grapes crossways because "you're not the boss of me" - stupid, arrogant, dangerous and utterly selfish. Putting his own won't-be-told ego above his child's safety = wanker behaviour.

RLOU30 Sun 08-Dec-19 02:32:31

Cut into four in this house-always. He is taking a risk that is quite shocking actually I would be furious.

RLOU30 Sun 08-Dec-19 02:34:14

* think quarter ways is probably best but there’s no way he’d agree to that.*

I mean, that alone is shocking !

Elbowedout Sun 08-Dec-19 02:49:25

You are absolutely right.
Ive just read a thread about choking on here and there are some real caurionary tales on it.
Grapes are one of the commonest causes of choking especially in small children as I am sure you already know and you are 100% right to stick to your guns.
Has he explained why he won't do it? I am really struggling to understand why someone would refuse to take a very simple and obvious step to protect their child. It is not any harder to chop them lengthways so why not just do it? All I can suggest is that you try to understand what his objection is and show him the evidence to the contrary. Or stop buying grapes if he can't be trusted to prepare them safely.confused

user1471433387 Sun 08-Dec-19 02:55:59

Ok so everyone so far agrees with me.

I did google some articles and show them to him. He takes on board that grapes are a potential choking hazard but does not agree that they should be cut lengthways. He wants statistical evidence.

He doesn’t want to cut them my way because he hates all my rules. This is his objection.

He says there is such a small chance of DD choking that it doesn’t matter and that I don’t understand risk. He also says lots of parents don’t cut grapes at all.

We discussed it at length for a while. He just won’t agree.

BuildBuildings Sun 08-Dec-19 02:57:45

Is he this stubborn about everything?

tenredthings Sun 08-Dec-19 03:01:34

He's being a dick.

user1471433387 Sun 08-Dec-19 03:02:53

Yes he’s very stubborn. I can be too though!

I’m not sure how I can convince him.

Ifeelinclined Sun 08-Dec-19 03:03:59

This would infuriate me. I always, always, cut them lengthwise into quarters for my niece and nephew. They are a huge choking hazard. If he won't cut them up for your child, then he doesn't need to be serving them to the child at all.

Creepster Sun 08-Dec-19 03:07:13

What a jerk. Obviously cannot be trusted to look out for a child.
The future looks grim.

Corna Sun 08-Dec-19 03:07:20

'You don't understand risk'? Christ what a patronising twat.
I would literally take the grapes out of his hand and take over because he clearly puts being right over your child being safe.

OhTheRoses Sun 08-Dec-19 03:07:59

To be fair cutting grapes wasn't a thing 20+ years ago when mine were small. Although funnily enough my grandma and mother always cut them, as did I in the late 70's and 80s, but that was to remove the pips which aren't there nowadays.

I'd just stop buying grapes I think or just small amounts when he's not around.

TheDuchessofDukeStreet Sun 08-Dec-19 03:11:11

I’d be asking him if he knows the treatment of children for choking and paediatric basic life support. Sorry Op, don’t mean to scare you but this is serious.

Aveisenim Sun 08-Dec-19 03:14:52

You shouldn't need to convince him, he should want to remove the potential risk (no matter how small) for your daughter's safety! My DP is stubborn as all hell and hates feeling like he's been told what to do, but there is no way he'd put our DC's health at risk like this, especially once it had been explained to him.

user1471433387 Sun 08-Dec-19 03:16:03

I wish there was some scientific evidence I could show him to convince him.

He does all the grocery shopping so it’s not me buying them. I could just chop them all up as soon as I see them in the fridge. Both our DDs like grapes. Luckily he cuts them in smaller pieces for our baby.

user1471433387 Sun 08-Dec-19 03:19:17

He says there’s a potential risk in driving the car but I still do that

Aquamarine1029 Sun 08-Dec-19 03:26:19

I cut grapes in quarters until my children were almost four/five years old. A bit paranoid perhaps, but I was happy with it. The thought of them choking to death was one of the only things that terrified me.

Enidcat5 Sun 08-Dec-19 03:26:29

Stop buying grapes, that's what I'd do if my dh continually ignored this. It's not worth it. My dh is very like yours - thinks I'm being over cautious. He now cuts lengthways but refuses to do quarters. We row about it all the time. Cocktail sausages are another one.

CalishataFolkart Sun 08-Dec-19 03:26:55

There is potential risk in driving tHe cat but it is managed. You have seatbelts, car seats, airbags. These have all been added over the years as potential risks were identified. Same with grapes. Choking hazard identified - solution identified - grapes cut in half - risk ameliorated.

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