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To resent my husband

(21 Posts)
SleepingStandingUp Sun 08-Dec-19 00:33:05

Who is asleep.

I'm 35+2 with twins. I couldn't get comfy cos I have 12lb of baby inside me. Finally get comfortable and my reflux kicks in so I have to get up to drink gaviscon. Now I think I need another wee.

DH is sleeping like, well someoen who isn't heavily pregnant.

Part of me hates him right now.

DS will wake up at some point in the night once I've dropped off and whilst I can wake DH to go to him I'll be awake anyway and won't get back asleep until he's settled so might as well do it whilst I can.

He will give me a lie in in the morning, as he did this am by getting up with DS at 7.30 (I'd had him awake since 6. 30)

Its a bloody male conspiracy. I'm out numbered.

CalleighDoodle Sun 08-Dec-19 00:35:06

How are you getting a lie in if you were up with the child at 6.30?! Doesnt sound like he is pulling his weight

WorraLiberty Sun 08-Dec-19 00:35:08

It sounds tough but don't be a martyr

If your child wakes at 6.30, let your DH deal with it then.

DesMartinsPetCat Sun 08-Dec-19 00:36:44

What do you think your husband should do to remedy this for you?

ActualHornist Sun 08-Dec-19 00:37:20

OMG I remember those days well. I could have cheerfully murdered my husband as he enjoyed his uninterrupted, completely comfortable sleep.

One baby is bad enough but two can be torture. I really, really feel for you. Try and resist the temptation to smother him though, you’ll need him when they arrive.

MuchTooTired Sun 08-Dec-19 00:46:26

Haha, I remember feeling like this with my dh when I was pregnant with my DTs. It used to give me the rage when he’d say he slept badly, I’d be thinking I slept for two hours last night because I’m a hot sweaty mess who can’t lie down and you sure as shit seemed to be sleeping well to me!

If it’s any consolation, I got more sleep with my newborn DTs than when I was in the last couple of months of pregnancy.

YANBU to be resentful, it’s not fair he gets to sleep and you can’t. It’s not his fault I know, it isn’t logical to be resentful of him being able to sleep, but I felt exactly the same whilst I was pregnant!

SleepingStandingUp Sun 08-Dec-19 00:54:35

@CalleighDoodle @WorraLiberty cos I woke him at 7. 30 and went to sleep. He TOOK DS, sorted him and left me to roll out of bed when I felt like it (9. 30 ish). If I'd woke him at 6. 3p he'd have got up with DS but I was trying to convince DS to sleep. Once Daddy is up, DS knows he can go downstairs.

HouseworkAvoider10 Sun 08-Dec-19 00:54:56

He sounds a bit rubbish, to be honest.

Also most men will sleep through anything, so don't expect that to improve once the babies arrive.

SleepingStandingUp Sun 08-Dec-19 00:55:52

@DesMartinsPetCatsit up and listen to me moan as I try to haul 12lb of baby around into a comfortable position then fetch me gaviscon and feed it me through a straw. Obviously 😂

SleepingStandingUp Sun 08-Dec-19 00:59:37

@ActualHornist valid point well made. He'll get up with DS in the morning at whatever time I wake him and let me sleep so he's too valuable to smoother. Maybe I'll just poke him and tell him it was a nightmare.

@MuchTooTired I do a tually think I'll sleep more once they're here (next week!!) because they'll be in a cot and not my uterus!!! I keep berating myself for accepting a 36 week delivery date then I try and sleep and think will I survive to 37 😅. Also every time I feel happy about their weight, I forget momentarily I'm balancing it all ony poor pelvis!!!

SleepingStandingUp Sun 08-Dec-19 01:01:46

@HouseworkAvoider10 there's not. Much he can do tho is there? If I wake him up he'd get up and do it but then we're both tired all day. He doesn't wake cos he wears bilateral hearing aids but responds to a poke or a groped bum 😂 but as I said, I can't sleep whilst DS is unsettled so two of us are awake then and I need him awake to make me food and fetch me cake!!

ThumbWitchesAbroad Sun 08-Dec-19 01:29:11

I do totally get it, and I never had twins but my pg with DS2 was pretty damn uncomfortable, as I had polyhydramnios and horrendous acid reflux from w12, plus symphisis pubis disorder, so I was sleeping against 2 bean bags (couldn't lie down, couldn't lie on my side) and not getting much sleep either! the only good thing was that I was on my own in the double bed because DH was in the other room. That way I couldn't hear him snore, he couldn't kick me and I could sit, whinge, read and do whatever else without waking him and having him moan about it. DS1 was 5 by then, so not such an issue.

But yeah, resent away as it's normal at this stage - just don't DO anything to him! grin

SleepingStandingUp Sun 08-Dec-19 01:31:32

Mwahahha he is sleeping peacefully, I swear I haven't even kicked him when he was snoring (he's rolled over and is silent now)

No spare bed alas, and DS is 4.5!!! But I think the imminent arrivals and a poorly cough are conspiring to make his sleep awful

sobeyondthehills Sun 08-Dec-19 01:47:34

I remember being pregnant with DS one night, not comfortable and DP sleeping soundly and debating whether I could get away with smothering him with a pillow or whether it would be best to pretend it was a robbery gone bad. Which one would take the most effort compared to the best chance of getting away with it.

Fair play to DP though, once DS was born I swear he was awake for every night feed even though I was breastfeeding.

ActualHornist Sun 08-Dec-19 03:03:23

@SleepingStandingUp I remember when I was pregnant with mine, sometimes being propped up on one elbow while DH BREATHED next to me in bed, I was feeyooming I tell ya.

Then sometimes he would breathe coffee breath on me and I wanted to barf.

I was quite unreasonable but it was quite a fraught pregnancy in my defence.

Countryescape Sun 08-Dec-19 03:05:06

Sleep in another room

SleepingStandingUp Sun 08-Dec-19 07:28:48

@sobeyondthehills whatever thoughts get you through the night 😂😂

@ActualHornist did he survive the pregnancy??

@Countryescape your house just be bigger than mine...

BeanTownNancy Sun 08-Dec-19 17:44:17

My baby has croup. He's breastfed so every hour when he coughs himself awake and makes himself cry, it's muggins here who has to nurse him back to sleep.

And throughout all of this my husband has the audacity to keep sleeping... And breathing... In the bed next to me.

The fucking cheek of the man. He should be awake too if I have to suffer.

(Obviously I'm being mostly sarcastic... Mostly.)

SleepingStandingUp Sun 08-Dec-19 20:03:55

He could at least lie there breathing silently so you could pretend he wasn't there!!

ActualHornist Mon 09-Dec-19 13:21:40

He survived enough for us to have a third two years later wink

SleepingStandingUp Mon 09-Dec-19 17:32:33

Haha there will be none of that here, no 3 is twerking or headbanging at the top of my uterus whilst no 2 pikes my bladder.

He bloody SNORED last night and didn't even wake up for any of my 10 wees

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