‘Camp’ behaviour in 9 year old

[Marypoppins19]

I don’t really like the term ‘camp’ but can’t improve on the description so bare with me.

Ds - loves a giggle, always messing around, very happy child. Last few months has been mimicking camp behaviours, hand gestures and phrases whilst in silly mode.

Dh thinks this is ‘naughty’ as in its silly and annoying so has said literally - stop being so silly.....

But I feel that’s a bit strange as it’s giving the impression that that behaviour is wrong??

He isn’t taking the piss out of people behaving in that way, he’s just behaving like that as he thinks it’s an ok reaction.

I’m doing a crap job of explaining this....

[Marypoppins19]

I’m sure DH is ‘worrying’ that this must mean DS is gay.....hence his reaction

[snowybaubles]

Your DH is a knob.

[rhubarbcrumbles]

Your DH is being ridiculous, so what if your DS is gay?

[Rayn]

My 12 year old is extremely camp.always has been and he has two older brothers who are typical boisterous boys. It's just who he is. I don't care if he is camp, gay, purple with spots on. He is my child.

Your nine year old will change so much over the next couple of years!!

[Anxietyandwine]

Let him be! This could be a personality trait he is developing and putting him down and saying it’s ‘wrong’ isn’t helpful. Not necessarily meaning anything that he is displaying this behaviour but it’s not harmful or hurting anyone so just let him be him!

[likeafishneedsabike]

Do you suspect your DH of being a homophobe? DS of the same age is a proper sassy finger clicker, hair tosser and strutter. His requests to watch Ru Paul Drag Race have not been granted! - but other than that the camp stuff is accepted as the norm.

[Marypoppins19]

I’m not sure the camp gestures when being silly make him gay.
He’s a right old computer games footie lad but when he’s showing off he does this camp behaviour thing.
My genuine worry is IF to tell him to stop or not.
If it’s him then fine....
But as he gets older people might think he’s mimicking and taking the piss??

[SarahTancredi]

What makes you think your dh is worrying about him being gay.

You say your ds is "mimicking" but then say hes not taking the piss.

Is he mimicking this behaviour? Could he be taking the piss? If he is your DH is right to call him.out on the behaviour.

If it's just how he is then your dh is of course being a knob. And so what if hes camp amd/or gay

[Marypoppins19]

DH would deep down struggle for sure!! BUT he is awesome really and would deal with his own issues - or Id divorce him

[Marypoppins19]

That’s just it!
I don’t know

[EveryoneLoves09871]

Have you actually spoken to DH about this?

[Marypoppins19]

I don’t know if he’s just copying behaviour seen on the telly or if it’s him
Or
He might be taking the piss!

[Marypoppins19]

Course

DH is as confused as I am but either way thinks the clicking, Strutting etc is irritating

[MayorMumbum]

OP I also have a very...flamboyant 9 year old DS [frgin]. I adore him and wouldn't change a hair on his head. DH has struggled with it in the past, I think. Not because he is a homophobe but I suppose he thought his son would love football etc and that just isn't what happened. He accepts it completely now (although is a little when DS snaps his fingers at him and says "yas queen!")

We both do wonder sometimes whether he will be gay but really it doesn't matter one way or another. Your DH needs to try to just accept him for who he is, we can't mould our kids like clay.

[LolaSmiles]

It's an issue if in time it could appear like he is taking the piss, but right now he's just a child being a child. If he's not taking the mick out of anyone and is content then let him be.

[ActualFemale]

I don't think his dad sounds that awesome.

It sounds like your son is just being himself and if his personality irritates his dad then his Dad is a prick.

He should leave your son be.

[Marypoppins19]

Bit harsh Actualfemale
All kids behaviour can be irritating and if it’s annoying others than as parents be have to say something.....it’s just how and trying to get it right

[AuntyElle]

This might be helpful. The author is gay, but it making wider points about how young boys’ behaviour is judged:

theguyliner.com/opinion/my-prince-george-moment/

[Northernparent68]

It’s not as simple as everyone is making out.

Camp behaviour is not an essential part of being gay. Objecting to camp behaviour is n’t therefore necessarily homophobic.

This behaviour creates a risk of bullying, it’s reasonable for the op’s husband to object.

[SarahTancredi]

I have to say the more you post the more confusing it gets.

If your dh would struggle with a camp possibly gay son then actualfemale os right he really isnt that awesome.

But it's not clear what the actual objection is. It all hinges on whether he is naturally like this or whether hes taking the piss.

[SolitaryGrape]

@Northern, what a skewed perspective. Bullies are responsible for bullying.

[Greenglassteacup]

Liking football isn’t incompatible with being gay

[Greenglassteacup]

This is such a weird thread

[snowybaubles]

It's not just weird it's actually awful to read a mum say they don't know whether to tell their NINE year old child to stop acting this way.

It's either a part of him or he is messing about. Either one of those is fine. He is a 9 year old kid.

[MayorMumbum]

Sorry Greengrass, that isn't really what I meant. Was just trying to explain how DH felt but didn't explain it very well.