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‘Camp’ behaviour in 9 year old

(81 Posts)
Marypoppins19 Sat 07-Dec-19 22:37:07

I don’t really like the term ‘camp’ but can’t improve on the description so bare with me.

Ds - loves a giggle, always messing around, very happy child. Last few months has been mimicking camp behaviours, hand gestures and phrases whilst in silly mode.

Dh thinks this is ‘naughty’ as in its silly and annoying so has said literally - stop being so silly.....

But I feel that’s a bit strange as it’s giving the impression that that behaviour is wrong??

He isn’t taking the piss out of people behaving in that way, he’s just behaving like that as he thinks it’s an ok reaction.

I’m doing a crap job of explaining this....

Marypoppins19 Sat 07-Dec-19 22:38:33

I’m sure DH is ‘worrying’ that this must mean DS is gay.....hence his reaction

snowybaubles Sat 07-Dec-19 22:41:58

Your DH is a knob.

rhubarbcrumbles Sat 07-Dec-19 22:42:03

Your DH is being ridiculous, so what if your DS is gay?

Rayn Sat 07-Dec-19 22:46:20

My 12 year old is extremely camp.always has been and he has two older brothers who are typical boisterous boys. It's just who he is. I don't care if he is camp, gay, purple with spots on. He is my child.

Your nine year old will change so much over the next couple of years!!

Anxietyandwine Sat 07-Dec-19 22:46:30

Let him be! This could be a personality trait he is developing and putting him down and saying it’s ‘wrong’ isn’t helpful. Not necessarily meaning anything that he is displaying this behaviour but it’s not harmful or hurting anyone so just let him be him!

likeafishneedsabike Sat 07-Dec-19 22:46:32

Do you suspect your DH of being a homophobe? DS of the same age is a proper sassy finger clicker, hair tosser and strutter. His requests to watch Ru Paul Drag Race have not been granted! - but other than that the camp stuff is accepted as the norm.

Marypoppins19 Sat 07-Dec-19 22:47:32

I’m not sure the camp gestures when being silly make him gay.
He’s a right old computer games footie lad but when he’s showing off he does this camp behaviour thing.
My genuine worry is IF to tell him to stop or not.
If it’s him then fine....
But as he gets older people might think he’s mimicking and taking the piss??

SarahTancredi Sat 07-Dec-19 22:49:35

What makes you think your dh is worrying about him being gay.

You say your ds is "mimicking" but then say hes not taking the piss.

Is he mimicking this behaviour? Could he be taking the piss? If he is your DH is right to call him.out on the behaviour.

If it's just how he is then your dh is of course being a knob. And so what if hes camp amd/or gay

Marypoppins19 Sat 07-Dec-19 22:50:05

DH would deep down struggle for sure!! BUT he is awesome really and would deal with his own issues - or Id divorce him

Marypoppins19 Sat 07-Dec-19 22:50:49

That’s just it!
I don’t know

EveryoneLoves09871 Sat 07-Dec-19 22:51:29

Have you actually spoken to DH about this?

Marypoppins19 Sat 07-Dec-19 22:51:46

I don’t know if he’s just copying behaviour seen on the telly or if it’s him
He might be taking the piss!

Marypoppins19 Sat 07-Dec-19 22:52:43


DH is as confused as I am but either way thinks the clicking, Strutting etc is irritating

MayorMumbum Sat 07-Dec-19 22:56:51

OP I also have a very...flamboyant 9 year old DS [frgin]. I adore him and wouldn't change a hair on his head. DH has struggled with it in the past, I think. Not because he is a homophobe but I suppose he thought his son would love football etc and that just isn't what happened. He accepts it completely now (although is a little hmm when DS snaps his fingers at him and says "yas queen!")

We both do wonder sometimes whether he will be gay but really it doesn't matter one way or another. Your DH needs to try to just accept him for who he is, we can't mould our kids like clay.

LolaSmiles Sat 07-Dec-19 22:58:15

It's an issue if in time it could appear like he is taking the piss, but right now he's just a child being a child. If he's not taking the mick out of anyone and is content then let him be.

ActualFemale Sat 07-Dec-19 22:58:23

I don't think his dad sounds that awesome.

It sounds like your son is just being himself and if his personality irritates his dad then his Dad is a prick.

He should leave your son be.

Marypoppins19 Sat 07-Dec-19 23:01:35

Bit harsh Actualfemale
All kids behaviour can be irritating and if it’s annoying others than as parents be have to say’s just how and trying to get it right

AuntyElle Sat 07-Dec-19 23:06:16

This might be helpful. The author is gay, but it making wider points about how young boys’ behaviour is judged:

Northernparent68 Sat 07-Dec-19 23:06:41

It’s not as simple as everyone is making out.

Camp behaviour is not an essential part of being gay. Objecting to camp behaviour is n’t therefore necessarily homophobic.

This behaviour creates a risk of bullying, it’s reasonable for the op’s husband to object.

SarahTancredi Sat 07-Dec-19 23:09:22

I have to say the more you post the more confusing it gets.

If your dh would struggle with a camp possibly gay son then actualfemale os right he really isnt that awesome.

But it's not clear what the actual objection is. It all hinges on whether he is naturally like this or whether hes taking the piss.

SolitaryGrape Sat 07-Dec-19 23:12:26

@Northern, what a skewed perspective. Bullies are responsible for bullying.

Greenglassteacup Sat 07-Dec-19 23:13:42

Liking football isn’t incompatible with being gay

Greenglassteacup Sat 07-Dec-19 23:14:05

This is such a weird thread

snowybaubles Sat 07-Dec-19 23:15:33

It's not just weird it's actually awful to read a mum say they don't know whether to tell their NINE year old child to stop acting this way.

It's either a part of him or he is messing about. Either one of those is fine. He is a 9 year old kid.

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