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To be angry at him interrogating my daughter ?

(43 Posts)
anon12300 Thu 05-Dec-19 22:34:55

So my daughter is 13 years old. Her dad left and had a baby with another woman. Baby is now around 5-6 months old now. She went up to see her baby brother on Tuesday and innocently took a picture of him. She then sent the picture to my exs gf daughter ( they have each other's numbers) because she thought she might like to see it and then this Daughter of his gf must have told her mum about the pic because my ex text my daughter interrogating her saying 'did you take a picture of xxxxx'
My daughter said yes
He said 'did you post anywhere'
And she said 'no no no' ( she's been warned by me to keep any pictures of her brother absolutely private) which she has
She's then says 'I'm in trouble not arnt I'
He relied 'no your not in trouble but don't post anywhere and don't you show mummy his picture you better listen to me'
Its annoyed me that he's made her feel like shit for taking a picture of her brother and Also for threatening her not to show me ( Which of course she wouldn't do anyway as it's none of my business!) bearing in my mind this gf has been posting these pictures on Facebook as public since he's been born 🤦🏻‍♀️ I asked him why did he question her like that and he said because his gf wasn't happy that my daughter has taken a picture of her son Incase she shows me!
I'm angry at how his gf can be so petty!!

EKGEMS Thu 05-Dec-19 22:39:10

Your poor daughter sharing dna from that waste of space!

Elodie2019 Thu 05-Dec-19 22:39:31

He doesn't want any pictures of the baby posted on SM. Fair enough.

Not wanting you to see the picture is a bit weird. What's he going to do? Keep his your DD's step brother/sister (can't remember which) hidden?

Cherrysoup Thu 05-Dec-19 22:39:46

His gf’s an idiot. Has she blocked you from social media so you can’t see the pics? How ridiculous, why shouldn’t your dd show you pics of her new brother who could be an important person in her life from now on? Bonkers.

Bluerussian Thu 05-Dec-19 22:41:39

Does your ex know the mother of his baby has been posting pictures on FB?

He's a prat, you're well rid.

GrumpyHoonMain Thu 05-Dec-19 22:42:11

the problem isn’t your ex’s gf: it’s your ex not establishing appropriate boundaries between his gf and his dd. Your ex shouldn’t be allowing one set of rules for his kids and another set for her kids when it comes to their own sibling - the fact that he does means he’s a shit dad. But you can’t really do or say anything here - just keep reminding your dd that you love her and if she ever doesn’t want to see him, don’t force her

Pretenditsaplan Thu 05-Dec-19 22:42:49

Its a baby theyre all potatoes. What did the girlfriend think youd do with the picture?

MitziK Thu 05-Dec-19 22:45:24

Tempting though it would be to say 'Why would you think I'm even remotely interested in seeing any pictures of your kid?', I think strategic ignoring of the dickishness would be in order.

Bet she hasn't declared him living with her and that's why he is freaking out, or he's got another woman on the side he doesn't want to find out

Thestrangestthing Thu 05-Dec-19 22:46:55

If that genuinely did come from her, she sounds like a nutter.

Ohyesiam Thu 05-Dec-19 22:47:18

The gf must think you have some potent witch craft going on if you’re to be kept away from photos of the baby. Totally batshit.

You must be so glad you’re split from him op.

Thestrangestthing Thu 05-Dec-19 22:49:40

And he's a dick, 1. for saying that to his dd, and 2. For not telling his gf to stop being ridiculous, his dd can take a pic of her brother if she wants.

AnneLovesGilbert Thu 05-Dec-19 22:53:50

Weird. I have step kids and a baby. They don’t have social media but do have phones and take photos of her all the time. I have no idea if their mum has seen them but probably and they’re their photos of their sister so it’s up to them! Your ex is a chump.

SlightlyBonkersQFA Thu 05-Dec-19 22:57:24

that does sound utterly bonkers but the best way to highlight how sane you are in the midst of their drama is to shrug and say fine, and then vent here!

ReanimatedSGB Thu 05-Dec-19 23:01:07

Well I'm sorry your XP is such a bellend but it's rather sweet that your DD and the other girl (stepsister or half sister?) are on such good terms. It's one of those things that often happens with self-obsessed men who run around impregnating women and then fucking off with a younger model... sometimes the kids form very strong, lifelong bonds with each other and that's good for them.

Chloemol Thu 05-Dec-19 23:14:49

Tell him that in that case she had better stop posting on SM for all to see

Savingshoes Fri 06-Dec-19 00:05:27

"No your not in trouble but your father will be if he carries on threatening you and ruining your relationship with your step sister."

DeathStare Fri 06-Dec-19 06:38:35

He shouldn't be putting your DD in a position where she feels that she has to withhold anything from you (unless he has a restraining order against you or similar). Putting a child in that position is emotionally abusive. And if his DP is asking this off him, he should be saying no to the DP.

MinervaSaidThat Fri 06-Dec-19 06:48:02

He's a twat. Did the gf knowingly have an affair with a man with wife/partner?

They sound like they're made for eachother.

dentydown Fri 06-Dec-19 06:52:43

I think it’s a bit strange that they didn’t want you to see the baby photo. How’s that going to work years down the line? Are they going to adopt a Michael Jackson approach and throw a blanket over him if you accidentally come into his presence?

It’s a baby, I’m sure if your daughter showed you the picture you’d of said “oh he’s lovely” or some remark like that, then got on with what you were doing.

Hopefully they’ll calm down a bit.

ivykaty44 Fri 06-Dec-19 06:58:25

Don’t ever try to work out stupid

TellMeWhoTheVilliansAre Fri 06-Dec-19 07:02:30

Screenshot her (public) social media posts and tell him you've already seen the baby. So you're not bothered.

So much bloody drama. But if he's happy in a relationship with a nut job, who are we to judge?!

Snowman123 Fri 06-Dec-19 07:04:38

Nuts. They should be happy for her to show her brother off - to her friends and of course to you.

I can understand them asking for the photos not to go on social media but to ask her to keep her brother "secret" from her own mum is damaging.

DoesntLeftoverTurkeySoupDragOn Fri 06-Dec-19 07:07:42

Send a text saying"you know "gf" has posted photos of him all over social media, right?"

PixieDustt Fri 06-Dec-19 07:08:37

Disgusting behaviour from your ex and his gf.
The sad thing is even the DSD must know that your DD isn't really allowed to take pictures of the brother hence why she told her mum.
How damaging and why single her out.
The gf is ridiculous and very very petty and childish.
Your DD must feel like crap. There would be no way I'd be putting up with this behaviour.

Hepsibar Fri 06-Dec-19 07:18:50

Did your daughter know beforehand they dont like images being taken of the baby? If so then she did a typical disobeying teen thing, not understanding implications of potential misuse of images.

If she did not know, then she knows now and he did say she wasnt in trouble ... the bit about not showing it to you was perculiar because it is natural curiousity thing ... but perhaps he is worried or his current partner the image could be circulated and they are protective of their baby. (They may have read or even experienced things about images of babies being misused.)

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