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To be offended she implied I wasn’t slim

(217 Posts)
Rumblebumble Mon 02-Dec-19 21:11:54

Met a school mum/friend for coffee today and said in passing that I was surprised high street fashion could be so hit and miss on sizing and that it was so demoralising ‘even for someone relatively slim like me’.

Didn’t mean it as a boast or anything like that (said mum is probably a size 8 but not really thin) and to my horror she replied ‘but a size 10-12 is hardly slim for your height (5ft6) is it’!

I’m just flabbergasted- just didn’t know what to say or how to feel. Made me feel like a giant elephant.

Sparklesocks Mon 02-Dec-19 21:14:06

She’s very rude! Don’t give her a second thought

user1471449295 Mon 02-Dec-19 21:14:12

Maybe she sees the word ‘slim’ as svelte and skinny, and would consider you more healthy/average looking in size?

HavelockVetinari Mon 02-Dec-19 21:16:37

That is extremely rude, if she's British or has at least lived here a few years she will know it's a rude comment. In which case, avoid her in future, and if she asks why tell her.

LolaSmiles Mon 02-Dec-19 21:18:17

I would probably see 10-12 at 5ft6 as averagly slim and healthy, but would probably in my head have an image of someone 6-8 if someone said "slim" to me.

Then again, you set that up a bit by going for the humblebrag which was risky. I agree with the point you make by the way, but any time a woman who isn't overweight makes any acknowledgement about their figure it gets some women's backs up (as we'll probably see on this thread where inevitably people will deny sizing inconsistencies other than to bitch about retailers that give them a number bigger than they want, deny vanity sizing exists, talk about 'average' rather than being overweight because if average is overweight then that's ok)

donquixotedelamancha Mon 02-Dec-19 21:20:09

99 times out of 100 I read stuff like this on MN and think I wouldn't give a shit. I genuinely don't understand how people can be so touchy about the idiosyncrasies of other's language.

That is the one in a hundred. She was rude as fuck.

GrumpyHoonMain Mon 02-Dec-19 21:22:12

I don’t think anyone who needs a 12 can be classed as slim either. You are in the middle. A slim might be a 0-8, 10-14 (potentially) is normal, and while a 16+ might be average at your height it’s definitely big.

HowManyToes Mon 02-Dec-19 21:22:19

That’s not really implying. That’s just being a rude cow.

Would’ve been the perfect opportunity to use the MN classic ‘did you mean to be so rude’ comment.

gobbynorthernbird Mon 02-Dec-19 21:25:27

Well, she's not wrong.

MistyCloud Mon 02-Dec-19 21:26:29


You set it up a bit by going for the humble-brag which was risky. I agree with the point you make by the way, but any time a woman who isn't overweight makes any acknowledgement about their figure it gets some women's backs up.

Yeah this. ^


You probably are slim, and size 10-12 is slim at most heights. But maybe she was just taking you down a peg or two because it seemed like you were bragging.

It's right up there with people who say 'I am 42 and I keep getting asked for I.D. to buy alcohol...'

Basically what they are saying 'I just look sooooooooooo young for my age. What IS a girl to do?' And your 'humble-brag' is very similar.

Yeah she was a bit rude, but I understand why to be honest.

Walnutwhipster Mon 02-Dec-19 21:29:40

Sorry but I was overweight in a twelve. She could have been more subtle but it's not slim, especially with vanity sizing.

amijustparanoidorjuststoned Mon 02-Dec-19 21:31:40

@GrumpyHoonMain how is a 12 not slim?? confused

GoatCheeseTart Mon 02-Dec-19 21:32:46

I'm the same size and height. I don't think it's slim. It's not fat. Average. I would say 'someone slim like me'.

LolaSmiles Mon 02-Dec-19 21:34:09

how is a 12 not slim??
And so it begins.

There's a difference between being genuinely slim and slimmer than average when average is overweight.

Catapillarsruletheworld Mon 02-Dec-19 21:34:53

I’m 5ft3.5 and a size 12. Don’t shatter my illusions! I’m slim in my head!!

At 5ft6 and a 10-12 I’d say you’re slim OP.

CinderellasSecrets Mon 02-Dec-19 21:36:18

A size 10-12 will fit multiple women differently though? It depends on body shape as well as weight/height so her comment didn't even make sense. Me and my friend are both size 8s but look completely different sizes due to having different bodies. She was extremely rude but don't let it upset you; women's clothes are ridiculous.

Fakeflowersaremynewnormal Mon 02-Dec-19 21:37:20

Let's just remember that with vanity sizing a size 12 is really a size 28 these days.

GrumpyHoonMain Mon 02-Dec-19 21:38:39

@amijustparanoidorjuststoned A 12 isn’t slim. It’s normal. It’s as a pp said - being smaller than average doesn’t mean you’re slim

Namechange322 Mon 02-Dec-19 21:39:15

I’d say size 10 is slim, size 12 is average.

But either way she is a rude cow

Just move on and cut your ties

Brimful Mon 02-Dec-19 21:39:37

Here we go. Let's all judge by dress size and insist you can get only own the word 'slim' if you're a size 0 and eat every other Tuesday.

As long as you're happy and healthy, who gives a shit?

Deadringer Mon 02-Dec-19 21:40:48

Op you were crazy to post on here, you will get more insults on mn than you will ever get irl. You will end up feeling like fatty mc fatfat from fatsville, run for your life!!! And yes she was as rude as fuck.

KurriKurri Mon 02-Dec-19 21:41:35

Yes very important to remember Marilyn Monroe was actually a size -000000 and a 12 means you are clinically obese. Have you tried cutting out water and air ???? <head tilt.>

OneKeyAtATime Mon 02-Dec-19 21:41:41

It would not have bothered me if i d been told that in those circumstances. Your comment invited her to comment. There s nothing wrong to say 12 isn't slim. It s merely a fact.

anothernamejeeves Mon 02-Dec-19 21:41:53

Jesus why would you start a thread like this on here where ALL WOMEN are allegedly size 6/8 and anything else isn't slim bit chunky and hundreds of stories emerge about how about 8st 5 and size 10 Sharon was bordering on obese according to BMI...

anothernamejeeves Mon 02-Dec-19 21:44:33

The threads about weight/dress size are one second in fucked up thinking to the competitive undereating threads where an entire sandwich should last all week and one sausage and half a roast potato is a perfectly adequate portion and everyone who thinks otherwise is a greedy fuck thank you very much

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