Talk

Advanced search

To feel annoyed and upset me and the kids were sloppy seconds on birthday playdate

(101 Posts)
Ibleedibreedibreaatfeed Mon 02-Dec-19 20:39:30

Just got a random message from a mum i know, saying its her sons birthday tomorrow and she with her baby boy are going to a venue. Would i like to come? I say yes and ask for more details. Turns out i was only invited as previous person and their 2 kids got chickenpox. Annoying thing is this soft toy had some special pre book tickets and i suggested meeting up before and she hasn't even tried to set anything up. Im quite hurt so should i accept.

FraglesRock Mon 02-Dec-19 20:40:18

Text back saying sorry somethings come up.

AintNobodyHereButUsChickens Mon 02-Dec-19 20:41:13

YABU for the phrase 'sloppy seconds' envy

Do you know what that even means?

inwood Mon 02-Dec-19 20:41:33

Just say you're busy.

Justmuddlingalong Mon 02-Dec-19 20:42:20

I'd wait til tomorrow, then cancel. 😉

CactusAndCacti Mon 02-Dec-19 20:42:50

Just accept, I am guessing you are toe dipping in parties and it is quite normal to have a '2nd' list.

You are reading too much into it.

AintNobodyHereButUsChickens Mon 02-Dec-19 20:43:18

But no I wouldn't go, that's pretty shitty and hurtful.

MarleneandBoycie Mon 02-Dec-19 20:43:27

Sloppy seconds? Yuck.
Doesn't everyone do this? If someone can't make it you ask someone else. You are overthinking and taking offense at nothing.

Ariadnepersephonecloud Mon 02-Dec-19 20:43:32

I'd go, you might bond and be her first choice in future. No point cutting your nose off to spite your face.

Throwawayteachere Mon 02-Dec-19 20:47:06

You were second choice, but it doesn't matter. Have a great time and get to know the woman and her child. You might become good friends or you might realise you don't really get along but it's worth going. Second is quite high up on a list so don't hold too much of a grudge about it. (I didn't understand the soft toy bit so sorry if my reply doesn't make sense when that's taken into account)

saraclara Mon 02-Dec-19 20:47:31

This is how you make friends. It's a nice outing and if all goes well you might be her first choice next time.

Life's too short to take offence at not being someone's number 1 friend.

Ibleedibreedibreaatfeed Mon 02-Dec-19 20:48:33

Im never going to be first choice, as im a recent friend. If we ever bump into each other in any other groups they mainly stick together. And i do try and talk but kinda get frozen out.

RippleEffects Mon 02-Dec-19 20:48:59

Not everyone can be invited to everything all the time.

This is a rather exclusive invite and someone else dropped out, you've been chosen as next on the list of people to invite.

Going is how you get to know this person better and choose if you want to explore the friendship. Turning it down draws a line under a potential friendship - or certainly makes it less likely.

Ibleedibreedibreaatfeed Mon 02-Dec-19 20:49:10

No was only the other friend going. No more people invited

Mummytea24 Mon 02-Dec-19 20:50:42

I'd go and honestly it's more about your child and if they would like to go. They don't care that they were on the b list & it really doesn't matter

ffswhatnext Mon 02-Dec-19 20:51:51

You are being unreasonable for using sloppy seconds.

Unusualsuspicion Mon 02-Dec-19 20:52:11

Do you only go to events where you are the persons closest friend?! I have many friends, by definition none of them will always be 'first choice'! If I got an invite in this situation I'd be pleased they had thought of me, not sniffy because I was 'second'. It ain't a competition.

Ibleedibreedibreaatfeed Mon 02-Dec-19 20:53:46

Why does everyone hate that phrase? Its a perfectly normal turn of phrase in my parts???

Greysparkles Mon 02-Dec-19 20:53:58

I don't understand this at all. Why wouldn't you go? Is she not to allowed to invite other people? Should she go alone so it's not so much fun for her child? Yes your not "first choice" but also you're a grown up and should surely be one in this situation

Darkstar4855 Mon 02-Dec-19 20:54:07

You sound a bit precious tbh but if it bothers you that much then don’t go.

AintNobodyHereButUsChickens Mon 02-Dec-19 20:56:11

@Ibleedibreedibreaatfeed Sloppy seconds is a phrase used for... basically a woman who has sex twice in a row in a short space of time. The second man gets 'sloppy seconds' as the woman is already wet and, well, sloppy, from sex with the first man.

icemelting Mon 02-Dec-19 20:56:17

You know what sloppy seconds means? envy
It doesn’t mean second best

SweetAsSpice Mon 02-Dec-19 20:59:08

Yeah sloppy seconds is a grim as fuck phrase!

LampHat Mon 02-Dec-19 21:00:07

Here’s a clue: en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sloppy_seconds envy

JasonPollack Mon 02-Dec-19 21:02:10

Ew for sloppy seconds, that does not mean what you think it does.

You're being petty about the invite, if you want to be better friends with her you should take it.

Join the discussion

Registering is free, quick, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Get started »