AIBU to let this friendship go for good ?

Namechange14000 · 2019-12-02 19:51:01

Hello, I posted this a while ago. It's a long one. But here it goes. My late uncle died, out of the blue, nearly two years ago. My family held a funeral service for him. I only invited two of my childhood friends to come to the service. We had been friends for many years etc. A day before the funeral service, one of my friends said she couldn't come as she was the main organiser for one of her friends baby shower. Ok. The other friend, on the day of the funeral was basically harassing me, she was complaining that I told her to wear a coloured outfit and everyone at the funeral was wearing black and it was embarrassing, she was annoyed that I wasn't answering her messages and that I was taking long to be at the venue as she didn't want to go into the service alone (as she didnt really know anyone one) I snapped at her on the day, basically telling her to get over it. By the time I came to the funeral, the friend that was worried about her outfit and going into the service all alone, didn't turn up. I received no messages that she was not going to come. Later on, I realised that she was waited for my outside the venue of the funeral but left because I took a while to come (I was running errands for the funeral ffs!). None of my two close friends (I only invited the two of them) were at the funeral and my God I was distraught. After the funeral, I contacted them saying that I was disappointed that neither of them showed up to the funeral and that one prioritised a baby shower rather than be there for the funeral. My friend, who did turn up at the venue, said she was waiting for me outside but I was taking long to arrive. Anyway, I was so hurt and I knew I was going to say some thing I would regret so I blocked them from calling me, for about two weeks. I know this was wrong of me to do. I then thought, you know what, even though they weren't there, they are still my friends, it's silly for me to be upset with them. I called one of the friends up and apologised and said it was out of character for me and I was grieving but disappointed that none of you were there but I shouldn't have snapped and blocked your calls. The friend then said that she understood "but we decided not to be friends with you anymore" (basically). I was distraught. Their defence was that they didn't like the way I blocked them. I told them that I was grieving, I was upset. But she still wouldn't have it. They weren't seeing my pint of reasoning for the way I acted. I put a post on Mumsnet and showed one of the girls what the comments said- as the majority of Mumsnetters agreed with my point of view. The friends were infuriated that I posted something about them online. After that a few harsh words were said and that was done. During that period, not only was I grieving for my uncle (great guy ) but I was grieving for the loss of a friendship. I was on my own. It was a hard 7 months. My other friends and family members were the ones who dragged me out of the house to get out. Anyway, 8 months past- I was sad but I was getting on. Then, all of a sudden I received a text from the friend who left- wishing me a happy Christmas... new year. It was very civil. A year and a bit has passed and recently that friend has contacted me. She told me that they are both sorry for what they did and if the friendship will ever be the same again. I said "I'm sorry, I can't. I've moved on and you both needed to accept your word and move on too". She has been texting me non stop and I'm done 😫. I told her that my fear is that the pair of them would do the same thing again. I old her that it wasn't fair that they broke up a friendship with me and expect things to go back to the way they are. I don't know. Am I being too harsh ? AIBU ?

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