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AIBU?

To take ds out of nursery??

40 replies

99GreenBalloons · 02/12/2019 19:28

He's 2, and constantly picking up bugs from that place. I know it's to be expected but he's been there for 12 months and he seems to have lots of time off due to illness. Six months ago we almost lost him due to sepsis from strep he caught from there. In the past 6 weeks he's had hand foot mouth disease, chest infection now an awful cold he's like a little zombie 😔 I know it's good to build immunity but it is beginning to impact his life.

AIBU to remove him and have a more healthy boy?

OP posts:
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Courtney555 · 02/12/2019 19:31

That's an extreme amount of serious illness to stem from one place in 12 months. DS got colds etc, but foot and mouth and sepsis is quite something.

How many other children have been affected?

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stepbackfromthecircles · 02/12/2019 19:35

I would be questioning the same. However, I would also be looking at the following questions...

Is this for him or my own worries?
What would a doctor say?
Where does it end? What else can't he go to?
What happens when he starts school?
What is the alternative for now?

Be kind to yourself, poorly children can drain our emotions and pour in exhaustion.

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missyB1 · 02/12/2019 19:38

Hmmm I wonder about their infection control practices? But part of the problem is parents sending sick kids in to nursery because they don’t want to take the day off with them. So all these bugs are constantly passed around. The staff might need to get firmer about sick kids staying away, and they might want to review their cleaning and hand washing.
It’s very difficult though, I work in a nursery and I’m always catching viruses off the kids.

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1Morewineplease · 02/12/2019 19:40

Sounds rather worrying. I’d ask around and see if other children have fared similarly. If so, I’d move, else I’d pop to the docs and ask a few questions.

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Selfsettling3 · 02/12/2019 19:44

Because he has had spesis he is more likely to catch infections so it may not be the nursery fault.

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churchandstate · 02/12/2019 19:48

It won’t be the fault of the nursery, but I would still remove him. He’s a baby being exposed to lots of other babies and their illnesses.

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Stroller15 · 02/12/2019 19:49

Would you just be moving him to a different nursery OP, or a different arrangement? I agree it is a lot of illnesses - which is perhaps just normal. My DS caught everything going the first couple of months when he started nursery, not 12 months. And nothing as serious as sepsis.

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99GreenBalloons · 02/12/2019 19:53

I often see other children with coughs colds etc but then there are those who look so poorly, with clearly things like hand foot mouth. Pp is right it's the parents who send their children in sick, as well infection control.

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Clangus00 · 02/12/2019 19:55

His wee body is run down.
I’d keep him home if you can and give him a chance to build up his immune system.
I don’t think the nursery is to blame though, just children being germ factories. It might be the same when he starts school.

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churchandstate · 02/12/2019 19:55

Erm... all due respect, OP, but are you saying that when you pick up/collect your child, you see children with serious infections and you still leave your DS there?

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Camomila · 02/12/2019 20:00

It might depend on what the nursery's policys are. The nursery I used to work at were happy to give feverish DC calpol.

The nursery DS goes to is really strict...DC have to be 48 hours fever free before they can go back. DS is hardly ever ill compared to friends' same age DC.
They also have a massive garden...His old nursery had a much smaller garden and they were more cooped up.

Could you try a childminder? Mixing with 3/4 other kids rather than 20 odd or more should help.

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Dreambigger · 02/12/2019 20:01

Poor wee man he has had a terrible time, I think though this is much more an issue with his health than anything to do with the nursery.

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Brideof2020 · 02/12/2019 20:04

The nursery staff need to be more assertive and not let children attend with serious contagious illnesses. My DC nursery wont even let you cross the door if they have conjunctivitis never mind hand, foot and mouth (which my youngest has actually had) and no way did I send him to nursery. It is difficult though and the amount of coughs , cold, sickness bugs etc can affect different kids on differing levels. My eldest seemed almost immune to everything, yet the youngest seemed to come down with everything.

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Daisy7654 · 02/12/2019 20:14

Keep him off until his immunity builds up. No job is worth the alternative. I'd not send him back another day if it was me.

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Caterina99 · 02/12/2019 23:54

Some children are just more susceptible to infection and can’t shake it off as quickly too. Especially those that have been seriously ill - like sepsis. Sounds like your DS is sadly one of these kids so nursery might not be right for him

Or the nursery might have terrible hygiene and sickness procedures. Id probably move him anyway as his health is not worth it

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Shooturlocalmethdealer · 03/12/2019 04:08

I wouldnt think twice about taking my child out!
That's horrendous!

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Soontobe60 · 03/12/2019 05:26

Your DS sounds like my grandson. He's had a few days off nursery and had croup a couple of times. However, there's no saying that he caught all of his viruses there. Strep is usually viral and can be caught anywhere as its airborne when people cough or sneeze, and also via touch e.g. Virus on hands contacting door knobs. It is more likely that he got HFM at nursery but we also have outbreaks in schools too. My grandsons colds seem to last for weeks! However, he did have colds before he went to nursery when he was 10 months old.
Your DS was very unfortunate that he ended up with sepsis from strep, but that wasn't down to the nursery. Sepsis isn't something that you 'catch'. Hopefully his immune system will be getting stronger the more he is exposed to these viruses, that's how immunity works. Id just say be extra vigilant when he's off colour. Speak to your gp about your concerns but don't isolate him from nursery unless you think their procedures for dealing with illnesses are too slack.

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HigherFurtherFasterBaby · 03/12/2019 05:38

I removed my DD from a nursery due to repeated illness. She had 7 sick bugs (which me and my other two then got!) in 9 months. We’ve been at a new nursery for 2 years and had a total of 0 sick bugs.

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Bippety · 03/12/2019 05:58

Would a childminder be a better fit? Ours just had one other little one, and then 3 after school.

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NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 03/12/2019 05:59

Hand foot & mouth is not serious. NHS guidance is children dont need to be kept off school or nursery with it. Nurseries should not be excluding for that or conjuctivitis.

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NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 03/12/2019 06:01

Also at age 2, your child will pick things up everywhere, especially if the sepsis has made them more prone to infection.

Sorry OP but unless you are going to quarantine your toddler & avoid all other children, he's going to pick up everything.

Never too young to start encouraging thorough hand washing though,which should help.

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NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 03/12/2019 06:04

This is useful

To take ds out of nursery??
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BrokenLink · 03/12/2019 06:35

In my experience children catch lots of viruses in the first year of nursery. If they are kept at home they catch lots of viruses in the first year of school. Personally I would prefer to get it over with at this stage rather than miss out on the learning at school.

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user838383 · 03/12/2019 06:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

takeittogo · 03/12/2019 06:52

I’m surprised by that NoI - tonsilitis and glandular fever are horrible illnesses, a child wouldn’t want to be in school with those! Surely?

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