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My cousin is naming her DD the same name as my DDs

(283 Posts)
hedgehug Sun 01-Dec-19 11:01:40

My cousin has accounced the name she has chosen for her daughter who was born earlier thid week. This name is exactly the same as my daughter's only different spelling, one letter difference, same pronunciation. It's not a very popular name but not unusual either. I just find it really odd that she would use the same name, no one in our family shares a name, we all have very different names and I think it will be really confusing. We spend a lot of time together as a family, our children spend a lot of time together, I'm just really confused as to why she would pick the same name. WIBU to talk to her about it?

SwedishEdith Sun 01-Dec-19 11:04:08

It's a bit odd but don't say anything. I've got cousins with the same names as each other. I'm intrigued about the spelling difference now.

Gingernaut Sun 01-Dec-19 11:04:11

I come from Irish Catholic stock.

Growing up I had two Uncle Martins, two Uncle Johns and every other woman was Mary, Margaret, Bernadette or Katherine.

Good luck, but you can't get precious about a name. You don't own the copyright.

DeathStare Sun 01-Dec-19 11:05:31

There is no point talking to her about it. She already knows your DDs name and chose it anyway. It is a little odd but you don't own the name. There's nothing you can do about this one I'm afraid - except turn it into an issue.

Mattelio Sun 01-Dec-19 11:07:20

I do find that strange OP, but I wouldn't say anything.

I think my family would have quite a lot to say if I used the same name as any family member, especially if I saw them on a semi regular basis.

c3pu Sun 01-Dec-19 11:07:37

Make sure your DD bags being known as "name1" and force the cousin to be "naym2" (alternative spelling) grin

sparepantsandtoothbrush Sun 01-Dec-19 11:07:49

Of course you can get precious about it. There are millions of names out there and choosing the same one as someone so close to you is weird and nobody will change my stance on that grin

Sofast Sun 01-Dec-19 11:08:04

I knew which names I loved from being quite small, I wouldn't have used them if dh's siblings or my siblings had used them but after that I was going to name my kids what I wanted. Cousin is far enough away imo

AfterSchoolWorry Sun 01-Dec-19 11:09:05

Your cousin! It's not like a brother or sister! I wouldn't mind.

Jeezoh Sun 01-Dec-19 11:09:51

You’ll get posters here saying you’re BU as you don’t own a name blah blah blah but it’s a very weird thing to do. I’m assuming it’s a name she’s had her heart set on for a while but unless you were aware of that and deliberately decided to “steal” it, a normal reaction would have been to choose a different name. Is there any chance she’ll use a shortening to differentiate?

CharitySchmarity Sun 01-Dec-19 11:10:07

Sorry, but this wouldn't bother me at all.

Jeezoh Sun 01-Dec-19 11:11:07

What’s the age difference between your children? If it’s quite large, I’d be less bothered but if they’ll be close in age, it’s definitely odd!

Stickybeaksid Sun 01-Dec-19 11:11:41

Irish here as well. My ds shares a name with 4 of his cousins and two uncles. We have big x wee x, uncle x, etc

Rosepetals30 Sun 01-Dec-19 11:13:29

My cousin did exactly the same 😑 they even shared the same surname

I got over it fast because I never see her, but I do have cousins as close as siblings and I’d be roaring if it were them grin

Lllot5 Sun 01-Dec-19 11:14:25

I think it’s odd. I’m sure it’s a nice name and all that but I wouldn’t chose one that someone else who I know, let alone related to had chosen.
How old is your dd

hedgehug Sun 01-Dec-19 11:15:23

DD is 11 so it is a big age gap but she hasn't mentioned wanting to use the name in the past 11 years. I understand that in some families it's normal for people to have the same name but it's never been a thing in ours

chuck7 Sun 01-Dec-19 11:15:23

If it really is the same name then you can bet someone else has already mentioned it surely?

My cousin called her son the same now as mine and there is only 6 weeks between them but she had been TTC for a very long time so I imaged she had it picked out well before I did and I didn't say a word.

Oneforposy7 Sun 01-Dec-19 11:16:54

We've had a boys name picked out for years (over 10) as it's a family name on both sides. My husband's cousin is pregnant with a boy and if they use the name and we have a boy we'll still use it. They'll see each other a couple of times a year at most. Not worth discarding a name that means so much to both of us for that.

Member984815 Sun 01-Dec-19 11:17:44

Irish here too, my mam and dad had the same last name before marriage so on both sides there are the same names in their generation , in my generation not as much . My granny kicked up a huge fuss with my mam when she wouldn't use family names . I'd be annoyed by this it shows no imagination there are loads of names to choose from

Namechange8471 Sun 01-Dec-19 11:18:25

I’d mention it!

“He cousin why don’t you pick a different name? It’s a bit stupid them both having the same name, there’s lots more to choose from”

BykerBykerWooooo Sun 01-Dec-19 11:18:30

I would hate it OP. At least there’s a big age gap. They will become Big Hannah and Little Hanna. Or something. Not much you can do. Don’t say anything.

justanotherlemontree Sun 01-Dec-19 11:21:35

I think it’s a bit odd not to say anything. We were thinking of giving DD the same (uncommon) name as my distant cousin and I was going to run it past her first, mainly as they’d have had the same surname. She couldn’t have stopped us but it seemed polite to say we love your name and want to use it!

x2boys Sun 01-Dec-19 11:22:49

Are you very close ? I rarely see my cousins and our children barely know each other so this wouldn't bother me and n the slightest ,I have a similar name to one of my cousins , and we had a Gemma and Emma in the extended family ,it wasent really and issue .

Bogrod Sun 01-Dec-19 11:23:50

You don’t own a name.

I remember years ago on a now defunct parenting site when a poster (S) called her son the same name as another poster (H).

The posters didn’t know each other in real life. Lived hundreds of miles away from each other in fact but H was LIVID. S had “copied” her apparently and she was furiously indignant 😂

MrsLinManuelMiranda Sun 01-Dec-19 11:23:58

Of course you are not being unreasonable. Your cousin should choose a different name, in fact she ought to invent a new name just in case someone else gets offended because their child already has the name that she gives her DD.
Both of my DMs sisters called their sons Andrew, to my knowledge nobody gave a shiny s**t . One of my younger cousins was given the same name as me( fairly uncommon name,but with a slightly different spelling) I DO NOT CARE!

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