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Secret Santa disappointment, anyone else?

(353 Posts)
youcanonlydraftthefuture Sat 30-Nov-19 10:26:52

We had a 'minimum' spend in our office of £10. Highest was £20 max.

I spend about £18 and bought my secret Santa a Emma Bridgewater mug, her favourite chocolate and a fancy bubble bath she's well known to adore.

I got... A flimsy mug with cheap chocolates inside.

The previous year (a different office), I was given a pair of socks from Poundland and a small pack of M&M's, the spend limit there was £15.

AIBU to wonder how people can be so mean? sad

DH is usually well known for this kind of cheeky fuckery, usually re-gifting a naff toiletry set from someone. However, last year he was bought a Peroni glass and beer which he loves so makes the effort now.

Skyejuly Sat 30-Nov-19 10:29:01

It always happens! I always try and I just get a generic box of chocs well under the limit.

Weebitawks Sat 30-Nov-19 10:32:46

Unfortunately people aren't going to put much effort into their colleagues presents. It's a busy and expensive time of the year were people are running around trying to sort stuff out for people they're not being forced to buy a present for.

It's lovely you put so much thought into it but if I'm honest, a secret santa present for a colleague (possibly one I don't even like as you don't get to pick) is so far down my list of priroties.

A mug and some chocolates doesn't sound terrible. It's just not as good as what you got.

youcanonlydraftthefuture Sat 30-Nov-19 10:33:38

Wee The mug is from Poundland, I've seen it in there. The chocolates are cheap chocolate buttons (not even branded) confused

OoohTheStatsDontLie Sat 30-Nov-19 10:35:22

Is it compulsory or something? If so then I can understand people not being bothered but if its voluntary with no disapproval then I don't get why anyone would do this. Also surely there should be a minimum and maximum spend or suggested spend, not just a maximum

Doralee Sat 30-Nov-19 10:36:59

We stopped doing them at work for this very reason. We go out for a lunch now which is far more appreciated and would rather spend my 15 quid on that.

carolina21 Sat 30-Nov-19 10:37:52

Isn't Christmas about giving not receiving

WaterSheep Sat 30-Nov-19 10:39:43

If there's a minimum spend then it's up the the organiser to call out the behaviour of the cheapskate. If no one says anything then they will continue to under spend.

CherryPavlova Sat 30-Nov-19 10:40:10

I would lower my expectations, if I were you. Secret Santa presents are not going to change your life and are likely to be unwanted tat.

PurBal Sat 30-Nov-19 10:40:53

The rule for our Secret Santa is: regift, handmade or under £5 from a charity shop.

Chilledout11 Sat 30-Nov-19 10:45:01

We give our donation to charity. I would opt out next year if I were you. The Emma Bridgewater mug was a lovely gift. I would be upset really. It's thoughtless to give a Poundland mug when the minimum spend is 10

Cheerfullygo4 Sat 30-Nov-19 10:45:09

At my last workplace I was the only one not to get a gift. Still don't know who it was. Everyone else happy to receive though. Oh Christmas joy!

MsVestibule Sat 30-Nov-19 10:46:45

So tight - if you agree to participate in a Secret Santa, follow the bloody rules! If there's a minimum spend, stick to it. I disagree with a PP about choosing a colleague's present being far down the list of their priorities - that isn't even relevant. If they can't be bothered to find out what the recipient would like (fair enough) just buy an expensive box of chocolates/wine when they at the supermarket; far better than a cheap mug and cheap chocolates. And no, I don't care if that's all they can afford - if they can't afford the minimum spend, just don't participate.

Turnedouttoes Sat 30-Nov-19 10:47:31

I just don’t partake anymore. Have managed to avoid the Scrooge comments this year by saying I’m using my secret Santa £10 to buy extra food for the local food bank we’re collecting for. I’ve even had some colleagues realise how silly it is to spend £10 on tat no one wants and say they’re going to do the same.

squirrelspatchcock Sat 30-Nov-19 10:47:34

The rule for our Secret Santa is: regift, handmade or under £5 from a charity shop.

I think this is a great idea! Keeps it a bit more interesting..

MyNewBearTotoro Sat 30-Nov-19 10:48:26

It’s not even December yet, why have your workplace already exchanged Secret Santa gifts? It’s likely lots of people haven’t had a chance to do proper Christmas shopping yet and so the giver may have had to just buy something last minute. Ask your workplace why the gift exchange can’t be at a more sensible time in mid-December to ensure everyone has a chance to buy something.

youcanonlydraftthefuture Sat 30-Nov-19 10:49:29

It’s likely lots of people haven’t had a chance to do proper Christmas shopping yet and so the giver may have had to just buy something last minute

No, we pulled a name out of the hat on 1st November. They had plenty of time

livingthegoodlife Sat 30-Nov-19 10:49:50

Really hurtful. I have also suffered like this in secret Santa which is why I now refuse to participate. One year I didn't even get anything!

mynameisMrG Sat 30-Nov-19 10:57:48

The last time I did it I was given a mug with tea bags in it. I don’t drink tea and the tea bags were two years out of date. I don’t participate now

Brimful Sat 30-Nov-19 10:59:48

That's shit, I'd assume whoever had bought that for me didn't like me much.

LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett Sat 30-Nov-19 11:00:58

Oof, reminds me of the year I was given a £1 box of malteasers from the shop downstairs - AND they were doing a two boxes for a quid deal and the tightarse only gave me one of the boxes!

It is hurtful OP, although it's just people being thoughtless it hurts all the same. But you are the better, nicer person and I really hope whoever received your gift loved it!

StillCoughingandLaughing Sat 30-Nov-19 11:02:01

I love Secret Santa - but to be fair, it’s because I’m a collector of a certain item, which everyone I work with knows, so I always get a new addition to my collection grin People in my team love drawing my name in Secret Santa as they know exactly what to get me!

I’ve got the newest person in the team this year, which is a bit of a pain as I hardly know him. I think I’ve done quite well though - hopefully his face won’t fall when he opens it...

Chocolatemouse84 Sat 30-Nov-19 11:03:12

I know what you mean. Even if its a totally unpersonal gift for what the recipient will enjoy (if you don't have time or know them that well) if you agree to join in with the secret santa, you should spend the minimum amount instead of under half of what was agreed.

People who don't want to bother giving in good grace should just ask not to be included and sacrifice getting a present themselves.

PeterRouseTheFleshofMankind Sat 30-Nov-19 11:03:28

Why the fuck does Christmas seem to be starting so early this year?

It's. Still. November.

Why have you already done Secret Santa at work?!

countdowntochristmas Sat 30-Nov-19 11:04:11

In one office I worked the theme was from a charity shop which sounds like a good idea , it wasn't . I got a cd of folk songs which was probably less than £1 . I refused to do the charity shop gift and bought a nice bottle of wine I know they like . I refused to do it the year after . I mean why would you buy a folk song cd to a woman in her 30's hmm

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