I'm hoping someone can help me on how to cope with this because I'm heartbroken. We are currently planning our wedding and just at the stage of setting a date for next year. Me and my dad have always been close until he and my mom got a divorce due to her cheating etc. when I was a teenager. We still managed to stay close and I tried my hardest but shortly after the divorce he started to resent me. He would always say horrible things that I'm my mothers daughter and he can see it in me, he just couldn't be near me as I reminded him of her and he started to get very distant and didn't want to see me or much to do with me. He became so paranoid and resentful I just didn't know what to do. I then ended up moving to a different country and everytime I came to visit my home country he would never answer his phone even though he was online on social media and we wouldn't ended up seeing each other even thought I've always wanted to see him hoping things would get better. We did see each other a few times I came back and he introduced me to his new 'girlfriend'. A complete psychopath, so insecure. She got drunk once and had a go at my dad for looking at me and paying more attention to me than he did to her and her daughter(only a couple years younger than me) - I also would only come back once or twice a year for a few days at a time and she would always say horrible things to me when she's had a few drinks like she wishes I never existed and the divorce was my fault etc. But my dad would listen and never say anything. It did bother me as I was quite young (am still only 23 though, so this is still very fresh in my mind) and it be honest it did do quite a lot of damage mentally. I tried confronting my dad about this many times but he would never ever talk about it. Last year me and OH went back to my home country to announce we were expecting and I was so excited to tell my dad in person and we arranged a coffee date, just me and him, to which he didn't turn up because of 'work'. A few hours later he texted to say he was on his way back from work and he will come and say goodbye because we were leaving the next day. He turned up, not wearing his work uniform, of course he was with her.. and said 'we've just been shopping, I took the day off work'. Fine, I didn't ended up telling him until we got back home and I confronted him about how I was upset about him lying as this was very special news I wanted to tell him face to face. He then started an argument out of nowhere about how I am always causing drama and I won't leave him and his girlfriend alone, always getting inbetween and the reason i never got on with her and her daughter is because I have always been jealous that she's been more of a daughter to me than I have ever been. I was devastated. Year goes on, our beautiful LG was born and we ended up going back to my home country again for over a week in the summer so the family could see her. Typical again, DF didn't answer his phone until last minute and came up with every excuse under the sun not to meet with us and meet his granddaughter. He eventually came to meet with us and I requested for his girlfriend not to come because I simply did not want her around my daughter. For once he has respected my wishes and I thought things we're going to get better. When we were having a coffee, he said that the reason he couldn't meet with us earlier was because about 3 weeks ago he had 2 weeks off to spend with his girlfriend and couldn't have any more time off. He is self employed btw...And he knew we were coming about 2-3 months prior to this. I brushed this off and told him I would love for him to come to the christening to which he said 'no, your mother and her family will be there'. Time goes on and we are now planning our wedding. I messaged to ask if he could come as it would mean a lot to me (in my home country a wedding is about the father giving his daughter away and it is such a big deal for the father to be there no matter what) to which he replied 'no, I will not be coming but I wish you all the best.' I am devastated and don't have anyone to walk me down the aisle as I've always dreamt it would be my dad doing it. I don't know how to cope with this. I don't even know what to say back to him.
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