Advanced search

AIBU? food bank cheeky fucker?

(184 Posts)
Zoofiller Fri 22-Nov-19 19:53:48

Before I get my ass handed to me.....

Disclaimer: I believe strongly in food banks, my job relies on their excellent work, I donate occasionally and recognise that all people from all walks of life can get caught out with unexpected bills/Enough money to make ends meet.

It may be affecting my judgement as I work with homeless people who have absolutely nothing.

I have an acquaintance who is well know for being beyond tight. Eg. Down the curry house will order & pay for £4 veg dish only, eat everyone else’s food and refuse to split costs. She has been challenged on this.

She claims constant poverty (which we all used to give sympathy to), all whilst seemingly going on a weekend away every couple of months, eating out weekly, a luxury holiday this year, home renovations, concerts and recently drinks and Christmas shopping in a big city. (FB tags)

However, she has stated that she has a system to work the food bank. In this area you can claim 3 times a year. So she has stated that she is rotating between different children’s centres and the school to keep getting food vouchers.

I have distanced myself and am trying to ignore but.....

Am I being unreasonable to be irked about her using the food bank in this manner?

Thisnamechanger Fri 22-Nov-19 19:56:56

YANBU she sounds like an arsehole.

JesusInTheCabbageVan Fri 22-Nov-19 19:58:36

Yanbu if that's true - can you send FB snapshots to the food banks?

Stonerosie67 Fri 22-Nov-19 19:58:46

I'd be raging and would end up telling her exactly what I thought of the thieving, freeloading bint!

melissasummerfield Fri 22-Nov-19 19:59:09

Absolutely disgusting, if there is someone you can report her to then you really should.

She is taking food out of the mouths of people who are in desperate need, a lot of whom are children.

darkriver19886 Fri 22-Nov-19 19:59:12


LittleOwl153 Fri 22-Nov-19 20:00:49

Let the different foodbanks know. If they are all trussell trust they will pick it up anyway eventually. But if not a quick call will flag it it. Although if you are saying she is getting vouchers from different places for the same foodbank - then she will get flagged anyway - and given a proper talking to!
You are right this isn't what the foodbanks are for and people like this really do not help foodbanks in anyway. (I work in a foodbank)

Namechangeymcnamechange11 Fri 22-Nov-19 20:02:42

YANBU. Food banks exist for the needy, and she's not needy if she's doing all those activities (and advertised it on FB!). People donate to food banks expecting it to go to those really in need.

Could you appeal to her good dose? What about telling her that donations are obviously finite and they're intended for the poorest in society? There's no way she can realistically think she falls into that category.

Mrsbclinton Fri 22-Nov-19 20:02:46

YANBU thats is beyond appalling. She is literally taking food from people who are in genuine need.

BendingSpoons Fri 22-Nov-19 20:02:58

YANBU. She is an utter idiot. Food banks are there for people who have no money to buy food, not people who fancy free food to save their money for better things.

Eckhart Fri 22-Nov-19 20:03:12


LittleOwl153 Fri 22-Nov-19 20:03:33

Actually I'll go further - if it's a trussell trust foodbank - PM me the details - name and address/postcode is all I need. And I will report.

Namechangeymcnamechange11 Fri 22-Nov-19 20:04:13

Good dose = good side
Why on earth doesn't MN have an edit feature??

duffeldaisy Fri 22-Nov-19 20:04:35

You need to report her if you think she’s defrauding the food banks.
Unless there’s something about her that you don’t know, that she’s lying about holidays or trips out?

If it is just taking advantage then she’s behaving immorally and should be stopped or even prosecuted.

Zoofiller Fri 22-Nov-19 20:04:56

Yes unfortunately it is real.

Well yes these are the thoughts I’ve been having. I just wanted to check that I wasn’t being an arsehole.

The amount of child poverty in this country is awful. In my line of work the life expectancy of a rough sleeper is in their 40s.

I’m so angry with her that I’ve distanced myself, clicked the hide button and am considering reporting.

I guess who to without it looking like a malicious hate campaign?

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe Fri 22-Nov-19 20:06:46

You say that she's an 'acquaintance'; how do you know so much about her? How is that possible?

I can't imagine how miserable it must be to be challenged by people you eat with about this sort of behaviour and boast about it. There are always people who take advantage but better that then somebody in real need gets refused help that they need.

If she's not close to you than follow your own advice and distance yourself. Shouldn't be difficult really, should it?

She's foolish to disclose so much information to an acquaintance.

IHaveBrilloHair Fri 22-Nov-19 20:06:52

I know someone who does similar.
I keep well away.
Not my Circus, not my monkies.

LeekMunchingSheepShagger Fri 22-Nov-19 20:07:13

I know a family that do this. They’re off to Florida for Christmas.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe Fri 22-Nov-19 20:07:38

I actually think you're in completely the wrong job, OP.

Smelborp Fri 22-Nov-19 20:12:49

I would screenshot it and report it to the food banks.

Babybel90 Fri 22-Nov-19 20:13:36

If she is doing that then it’s not knowledge I’d want to be in possession of, so I would be reporting it to the food banks and cutting all contact with her.

Personally I can’t wait for the day that’s there’s no place for food banks in the UK, in 2019 everyone should have enough money to house themselves and feed themselves.

PuzzledObserver Fri 22-Nov-19 20:15:37

I am puzzled about (many things, including) how she is actually achieving this. They don’t give food bank vouchers to anyone who asks, there are eligibility criteria.

Highandlow Fri 22-Nov-19 20:16:04

Hideous behaviour.

Bowerbird5 Fri 22-Nov-19 20:17:41

I knew a mum who took her kids around the free meals and the food banks and although they didn't have a lot she got tattoos and had the latest mobile.It p*****me off. Spending forty to fifty pounds a month on her mobile when she should have been spending it on her kids. I have an old phone it costs me £11 a month and I work. When my kids were small I would go without food to feed them.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe Fri 22-Nov-19 20:18:01

Indeed they don't, PuzzledObserver.

Join the discussion

Registering is free, quick, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Get started »