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DDs 15 year old friend

(47 Posts)
SpeedwellX Thu 21-Nov-19 15:08:01

DD has confided that her 15 year old friend is now having a sexual relationship with another 15 year old boy from her school. My gut feeling is to keep well out if it but DH seems to think we should let her parents know.

Would you keep quiet or say something? In the interests of clarity, we do know the girl's parents socially.

MsJudgemental Thu 21-Nov-19 15:11:15

If you do this, your dd will never confide in you again. I don’t think you want that.

19lottie82 Thu 21-Nov-19 15:11:39

Keep out of it. Absolutely none of your business.

TinkersBell Thu 21-Nov-19 15:16:32

Definitely keep well out of it.

CobaltRose96 Thu 21-Nov-19 15:18:56

None of your business. I’d keep well out of it. If there were a considerable age gap ect then I would get involved, but two 15 year olds having sex? What exactly would getting involved achieve?

iolaus Thu 21-Nov-19 15:32:04

If it was the other way round would you want one of your daughter's friends parents approaching you and telling you?

Assuming this is a consensual relationship between two fifteen year olds rather than the friend being forced into something she didn't want / doing something extremely risky

I'd stay out of it

ashtrayheart Thu 21-Nov-19 15:36:09

Stay out of it!

DisplayPurposesOnly Thu 21-Nov-19 15:39:33

Talk to your daughter about safe sex, and where she can get information and help. Then she's equipped for herself and can steer her friend if her friend asks for advice.

LemonPrism Thu 21-Nov-19 15:41:02

What on Earth has it got to do with you? It's hardly shocking, 15 is a normal age to start experimenting especially with someone the same age. Leave it alone

purpleboy Thu 21-Nov-19 15:43:02

Do you know for sure her parents don't already know?

I know a parent who loves to tell everyone every little detail of their child's life. Fortunately for me Ive know about the 2 things she has told me. But it feels so sneaky, she isn't doing it out of kindness but to try and get DD in trouble.

TheReluctantCountess Thu 21-Nov-19 15:43:32

Keep out of it.

bluebluezoo Thu 21-Nov-19 15:45:58

If she’s 15 and Gillick competant keep out of it.

Her GP can’t involve her parents so neither should you.

If you think she’s vulnerable or being taken advantage of that’s a different matter, but your dd doesn’t seem to have said there’s any concerns of that kind?

GiveHerHellFromUs Thu 21-Nov-19 15:48:05

Absolutely none of your business.

Chances are your daughter is/will soon be having sex too and is just testing the water to see what your reaction is like...

MrsFoxPlus4Again Thu 21-Nov-19 15:49:56

Keep out of it. Keep your relationship with your daughter open so she can also come to you when she starts experimenting. You don’t want her not to trust you.

AryaStarkWolf Thu 21-Nov-19 15:50:41

Keep well out of that one. First thing that came into my head when you posted about how your DH feels about it, was that I wonder if it's because she's a girl rather than a boy?

MrsTWH Thu 21-Nov-19 15:52:13

I would stay out of it, and use it to have a conversation with your DD around waiting til she’s ready and safe sex, etc. I was 15 and my boyfriend 16 when we started having sex. It happens but they need to understand how to stay safe and to trust you enough to talk to if she needs it.

EleanorShellstrop100 Thu 21-Nov-19 15:52:53

Omg I can’t believe you’re even considering saying anything 😲

joystir59 Thu 21-Nov-19 15:53:44

Your DD could be talking about herself to test your reaction

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy Thu 21-Nov-19 15:58:45

Talk to your daughter about safe sex, and where she can get information and help. Then she's equipped for herself and can steer her friend if her friend asks for advice.

Most helpful/sensible comment so far.

SpeedwellX Thu 21-Nov-19 16:01:17

That's sorted then. Will definitely keep quiet. Thanks all for input.

AmbitiouslyFit Thu 21-Nov-19 16:01:46

Stay out but advise ur dd about dangers and if possible help her make new friends.

SpeedwellX Thu 21-Nov-19 16:03:14

DD has done a lot at school on safe sex recently. I know that she and friends are all up to speed on this issue.

BarbedBloom Thu 21-Nov-19 16:03:26

I wouldn't say this is hugely unusual to be honest. I was certainly having sex at that age, as were most of my friends. There isn't an age difference, hopefully they are safe, so I would keep out of it. I wonder if your DD told you to gauge your reaction. Does she have a boyfriend?

Christmaspug Thu 21-Nov-19 16:07:58

Of course you don’t say anything

Glitterfisher Thu 21-Nov-19 16:09:25

I would expect this is pretty normal, most people I know started having sex at 15, usually with a partner of a similar age to them. I can't imagine why anyone would consider telling their parents. How odd.

If they were 12 I definitely would.

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