Sorry this is a bit long! Name changed for this.
My DD 12 and my partner of 5 years don't get on, well they can be the best of friends then at each others throats 20minutes later, this has always been a bit of a issue but it's getting worse.
OH can be very moody and talks to people like they are shit on the bottom of his shoe, half the time I honestly don't think he realises. I must tell him on a daily basis to watch his shitty tone, not just to DD but to everyone. He can be very much on her back about little things, making a huge deal about things like, leaving a light on, been too loud etc, things that just happen when you have DC, where I am so much more laid back as a parent and feel these are non issues in the grand scheme of things, or if they need a reminder to do it gently rather than have a go. I want to get on with my children, not be that shitty parent constantly shouting at their kids.
DD can talk the same way back to him though, usually they are as bad as each other, but my argument is, she is the child, he is the adult/parent, and she's obviously learnt it from somewhere! She is also going through the thick of puberty so I expect some mood/lip from her and I can happily chalk it up to that, him on the other hand blows up about it.
Last night, it all blew up because she gave him some lip about going to bed (I was sorting out ill DS so don't know exactly what happened) usual argument from a kid in my eyes, well he kicked off big time, snatched a book she was reading out of her hands and told her to fuck off, DD is left in tears, shout him to come take over with DS and I can sort DD. He came in with a face of thunder telling me he's had enough and he's leaving us all, I flipped and kicked him out of the house. He's gone to his mum, within 30 mins I'm having messages saying he's sorry and I'm right.
I'm sick to fuck of all of this, when we all get on its great, I love him to bits and I know he loves us, but there's always this issue in the background, I always feel on edge when that the next argument it's going to start, it can be ok for months then blow up. I can only see it getting worse when DD is older and the inevitable teenage mood swings/problems start.
DS is still a toddler but I can see it been the same with him and all I can see is a life time of playing referee.
Is this just the way step parenting is? I never got on with my step dad, and friends I've spoken to have said the same. But this isn't sitting right with me and I feel like I am damaging my children letting this go on.
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172 replies
pissedoff19 · 21/11/2019 10:19
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