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Escorting to make ends meet

(119 Posts)
secretlife81 Wed 20-Nov-19 22:42:45

Just that really. I hate it. I absolutely hate it. But what else can I do?!

PurpleDaisies Wed 20-Nov-19 22:44:07

You probably need to share a few more details of your situation if you want genuine suggestions.

Gardai Wed 20-Nov-19 22:45:20

What about applying for JSA/universal credit whilst you apply for jobs that are not escorting ?

secretlife81 Wed 20-Nov-19 22:47:00

Oh sorry - I kind of posted out of despair. I've had a shitty couple of years... well paid senior job. Got with the wrong guy... domestic violence... had to flee. I'm having trauma counselling because of it... don't feel like I can go back to an office environment. I can't trust anyone.

Escorting is awful but it's half hour, one hour maximum a day to put a smile on for. I just can't believe this is my life

Lessthanzero Wed 20-Nov-19 22:54:57

I don't mean to be blunt but I think you'll be expected to do more than just smile.

Have you escorted before?

secretlife81 Wed 20-Nov-19 22:56:08

Gardai, I did apply for UC when it all first kicked off because I was signed off work so was eligible for full benefits but it left me with £200 after paying my rent... which didn't cover even my most basic bills

secretlife81 Wed 20-Nov-19 22:56:59

Oh lessthanzero im doing it.... that's what I mean.... I've been doing it six months

Hellofromtheotherside2020 Wed 20-Nov-19 22:57:14

Are you an escort at the moment or planning on becoming one?

overnightangel Wed 20-Nov-19 22:58:38

Are you doing it now or just considering doing it?

overnightangel Wed 20-Nov-19 22:59:09

Sorry cross post.

Brooksey5 Wed 20-Nov-19 23:01:26

Does your trauma councillor know about the escorting? To be blunt I can’t imagine that it’s an activity that helps your mental health.

Could you be a domestic helper? One on one basis? I imagine after having a senior role elsewhere you could have a successful P.A. Type role to an older person

Hellofromtheotherside2020 Wed 20-Nov-19 23:02:40

Sorry, cross post.

If you're not happy doing it, then stop. I k Ow it's easier said than done but nothing is worth being unhappy for. Even financial difficulties can be solved without needing to do something you're clearly so unhappy about doing.

I worry about the safety aspect too. A woman I know was an escort, despite coming from a wealthy marriage (yes, she was married too!). She literally sold herself for Chanel bags and Louboutins. She was badly attacked once and hasn't been the same since; mentally or physically. She hit her head while falling, while being beaten and has permanent damage to one side of her body. She looks as though she's had a stroke, her face is lopsided and covered in scars, she can't use her left limbs properly so hobbles everywhere. It's so sad that a beautiful woman who didn't need to sell herself is paying the ultimate price. Just something to think about xxx

lookatthebabypenguin Wed 20-Nov-19 23:02:42

Escorting will just reinforce that sense nobody can be trusted. working somewhere like an office would challenge it and give you opportunities to see there are a few decent people around.

Do you believe you deserve to suffer? I don't but I'm wondering if you're doing this because you believe that? Like you may as well do this because you're not worth anything else? In which case it's a vicious cycle, the longer it goes on the more you believe it.

Your brain learns quickly about potential threats, but it takes a lot longer to learn things can be safe and that the threat you were under in the past with the DV has gone. So you still feel under threat even though you're not anymore. Your brain needs more time to catch up. But if you don't put yourself in safe environments it can't begin that process and you won't get to feel safe again.

HirplesWithHaggis Wed 20-Nov-19 23:03:40

Are you familiar with www.saafe.info?

Yarboosucks Wed 20-Nov-19 23:04:19

I am failing to understand why you cannot go back into an office environment because of trust issues. Surely being an escort requires a leap of faith with each encounter, not just trust?

I have nothing against escorts or escorting, however from what limited information you give, it would seem that you are risking doing more psychological damage to yourself. Almost as if you are continuing the abuse by proxy.

Have you had any form of counselling?

DonKeyshot Wed 20-Nov-19 23:05:25

Don't beat about the bush, OP. You're prostituting yourself for money and, even if you're working through an agency or have a pimp, you're putting yourself at enormous risk every day.

I have no doubt there are numerous jobs you could do which don't involve working in an office, but the problem is the salary is unlikely to match up to what you get for selling sex to random men.

Do you have any plans to quit being a working woman? Have you been in touch with any of the agencies that support prostitutes who want to quit the life?

Pinkyyy Wed 20-Nov-19 23:07:51

What's your living situation? Do you have any dependents?

MrsFiddymont Wed 20-Nov-19 23:08:51

I work two jobs, mostly seven days a week to make ends meet,I don't escort. Why is this your only option?

Toomuchtrouble4me Wed 20-Nov-19 23:10:00

My friend did this through an agency to pay her dc school fees...she hated it too but it was good money and a means to an end.
Lots of folk hate their jobs, it's not ideal but your choice.

secretlife81 Wed 20-Nov-19 23:13:36

Thanks for all your replies. I'm glad I wrote:

The reason I don't go for other jobs is because I'm often very very badly depressed. I couldn't commit to something that I had to get up for and perform every day from early until late. And I'm not lazy, I've done it... I did it for years and years very successfully.

In my last role I was actually assaulted by one of the senior leadership team... in front of many of the team I managed so offices don't really change my beliefs about trust.

I do understand though what's been said about how escorting is reinforcing what I believe about people

secretlife81 Wed 20-Nov-19 23:14:06

I do have two dependants- a girl and a boy

secretlife81 Wed 20-Nov-19 23:14:37

I work independently

JudeLawswhore Wed 20-Nov-19 23:16:48

It’s awful people have to resort to this to make ends meet. Can you maybe do some cash in hand work? Cleaning is good for this. Please stay safe, your children need you safe please remember that above all else.

apacketofcrisps Wed 20-Nov-19 23:17:13

Surely an office is safer?

Mummy0ftwo12 Wed 20-Nov-19 23:19:33

could you not look at other jobs or starting your own business?

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