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AIBU?

To sleep with as many people as I wish

417 replies

ambiencing · 20/11/2019 18:25

DP, his sister, mum, dad and I were all having a conversation regarding virginity after talking about people calling for the age of consent to be lowered.

It went onto the topic of how many people (average) one will sleep with in their lifetime. My DP's dad that he felt sorry for me, having slept with "so many" people at aged (almost) 20. And asked what had made my self worth so low. I was stunned into silence, but now I really want to say something. This was only a couple of hours ago, but DP thinks I just just leave it.

AIBU to be furious?

OP posts:

Report

formerbabe · 20/11/2019 18:27

You told your in-laws how many people you had slept with?

ambiencing · 20/11/2019 18:28

Yes, I told them. We've all had a few drinks and everyone was sharing.

OP posts:

SabineUndine · 20/11/2019 18:29

It's up to you who you sleep with, but why are you even talking to your DP's family about this?

ambiencing · 20/11/2019 18:30

I've explained why we were talking about this.

OP posts:

lumity · 20/11/2019 18:30

Why on earth would you share this? Talk about TMI!

CactusAndCacti · 20/11/2019 18:30

Why were you discussing your sex life with them?

On one hand you are right, that it is up to you, on the other a general discussion will lead to uninvited comments.

ambiencing · 20/11/2019 18:30

Everyone shared, not just me.

OP posts:

lumity · 20/11/2019 18:31

Do how many men did DP’s mum and dad reveal they’ve slept with?? I’m sure your DP would have been delighted to have that shared.

ambiencing · 20/11/2019 18:32

His mum was three, his dad was four.

OP posts:

BudgieHammockBananaSmuggler · 20/11/2019 18:32

Oh! Not even my husband knows how many people I have slept with. As this is an anonymous forum, I can tell you it’s more than 1 and less 1,000.

StreetwiseHercules · 20/11/2019 18:32

“ Why on earth would you share this?”

Why wouldn’t you? Oh hang on, this is mumsnet so sex = shame.

ShirleyPhallus · 20/11/2019 18:33

How many people have you slept with?!

On one hand, i agree with you that it’s entirely your choice. On the other hand, if it was my child and they’d slept with 100 at the age of 19, I’d assume a lot of those were pre-legal age and would feel very sad about their self-worth and wondering where I’d gone wrong on parenting.

Don’t get me wrong, I had a wild old time in my 20s and don’t regret it for a second but it definitely feels a bit seedier / more sad in the teenage years.

Sparklyring · 20/11/2019 18:33

Wtf?! That is an absurd conversation to have with your partners parents!! Who cares if everyone is sharing. FFS.

Purpleartichoke · 20/11/2019 18:33

The parents are probably closer to my age. We came into our sexuality when each sexual partner meant a chance at death. I don’t think I could have a conversation with someone who had any real number of partners by age 20 without wanting to talk about testing and safer sex practices.

Wildorchidz · 20/11/2019 18:33

It’s hard to tell without knowing the number of sexual partners you have had.
Less than 5? More than 15?

Brimful · 20/11/2019 18:34

I think this would be classed as 'over-sharing'.

SabineUndine · 20/11/2019 18:34

I can't think of any circumstances under which I would be drunk enough to discuss this with my in-laws. Maybe you need to think about boundaries?

Wildorchidz · 20/11/2019 18:35

Also he is probably concerned about his own child’s sexual health..

Brimful · 20/11/2019 18:35

We came into our sexuality when each sexual partner meant a chance at death

No matter how many times I read this I can't work it out.

ambiencing · 20/11/2019 18:35

Did I ask about boundaries? Or whether you all thought it was oversharing?

It's sex. Get over it.

OP posts:

ffswhatnext · 20/11/2019 18:36

How many did the men sleep with?
It's up to you how many people you have slept with.

I would have possibly replied with I feel sorry for those who haven't had as much experience. Don't know what you're missing out on.

churchandstate · 20/11/2019 18:36

The problem is that you overshared so they thought the conversation was on an intimate footing.

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NemophilistRebel · 20/11/2019 18:37

No woman or man should be judged for their ‘number’

Unfortunately please do judge so I keep it quiet.

But it really is no biggy.

Not too sure I’d agree to age of consent being reduced though

ambiencing · 20/11/2019 18:37

Whether the conversation was on intimate footing or not, it's still a shitty thing to say? I think so, anyway.

OP posts:

speakout · 20/11/2019 18:37

I can't ever imagine sharing this information. OH and I don't even share. But with your in laws??
Nothing to do with shame, everything to do with privacy.

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