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A driving one - who wbu?

(80 Posts)
Pheasantplucker2 Wed 20-Nov-19 13:14:49

I suspect probably me!

We have to drive eldest to school each morning (no public transport and too far to walk). On the road leading up to the school there are parking spaces, then the 2 sides of the road, so - where the spaces are empty, 3 "lanes" for the purposes of passing.

Some of the parents who drive in are either demented won't give an inch drivers, or terrified to pass, so want a massive space before they will consider going. Neither are great to drive behind, and the combination causes traffic buildup down the road each morning..

I was driving behind a very cautious driver this morning. Twice she pulled in (I followed), only to wait for probably half a minute until a car went past. On pulling out and following her forward it was clear that there were loads of spaces where 2 cars could have successfully passed without either side waiting, albeit sometimes one side driving in the empty parking spaces. Most people use them to weave in and out of the traffic giving way as appropriate.

The third time she did it, I stayed out in the line of traffic, I could see that the road was clear and that the car she'd pulled in for was over 8 cars away, and that there were passing spaces that meant both cars could pass without stopping. I therefore carried on driving past her and drove straight to the school without either stopping, or making the other line of traffic stop.

She drove up beside my car in the carpark, blocked me in and hurled abuse at me for being a dangerous driver. I pointed out that I'd driven (at 20 miles an hour) without either me stopping or the contraflow, but she ignored this and just carried on hurling abuse.

So was I wrong, having checked that I was clear to go, to go round her and go, or should I have waited?

I should add that each time she pulled in she pulled in right to the side (in a parking position), and didn't indicate out to show she was waiting to go. When I am waiting for the other side to pass I always indicate, as there are a lot of cars down there that just stop and the kids get out without any indication either way.

She was absolutely vile, and I was quite shaken by her abuse. But was I wrong and should I have waited behind her?

mrsbyers Wed 20-Nov-19 13:22:45

How much time did you save ?

5foot5 Wed 20-Nov-19 13:27:35

It doesn't sound to me like you did anything wrong. But even if you did, the minute she started hurling abuse at you she put herself in the wrong.

Seasword Wed 20-Nov-19 13:28:56

If I understood your post properly then she was BU.
I don’t understand the pp’s comment about time saved?

wineisnecessary Wed 20-Nov-19 13:29:49

What you have said it sounds like she was perhaps over cautious.
If if you were in the wrong there is no need for abuse . A car overtook me this morning but I let it go cause it's not worth it .

spacepyramid Wed 20-Nov-19 13:30:43

Whatever you did wrong, and I can't tell if you did or not, was by the by once she started verbally abusing you.

TheQueef Wed 20-Nov-19 13:36:14

She was driving hesitantly and you went past her?

You were impatient, especially around school time she may have wanted to be cautious for children and give herself extra time.
She shouldn't bollock you though, no need for her to speak to you.

PettyContractor Wed 20-Nov-19 13:46:03

I think it's her driving that needs to change, not OP's.

OlaEliza Wed 20-Nov-19 13:46:23

@wineisnecessary what's to let go about being overtaken? It's a perfectly legal manoeuvre.

switcharoo Wed 20-Nov-19 13:47:24

She was in the wrong for the verbal abuse, and tbh I would have done the same driving wise in your position. It's up to her if she wants to be over cautious but if it's impacting on you being able to drive and you're not breaking and traffic laws then go for it. I love in a Victorian area of London where the drivers are used to using the empty parking to Bob and weave to get past each other!

PettyContractor Wed 20-Nov-19 13:47:41

She's allowed to pull over when she thinks it's appropriate, if the people behind her disagree with her decision strongly enough to go past her, without causing any issues for anyone, they're not doing anything wrong.

PettyContractor Wed 20-Nov-19 13:48:05

She's not the boss of everyone who happens to be stuck behind her.

Rainwilds Wed 20-Nov-19 13:50:30

I’d have done the same as you OP...and then pulled up details for the pass plus on my phone whilst she shouted!

havingtochangeusernameagain Wed 20-Nov-19 13:50:34

If someone pulls in somewhere and then sits there for 30 seconds when the road is clear it's fine for you to overtake them - I probably wouldn't do it on my test because there is obviously the risk of them pulling out as you pass them, but in the scheme of things? Not a big issue and definitely not one for her to get all abusive about.

People need to stop dawdling when others are waiting for them.

Out of interest OP you say there is no pubic transport and it's too far to walk but would it be easier to say stop 5-10 mins away and walk from there to avoid the dawdlers and the impatient?

leghairdontcare Wed 20-Nov-19 13:51:57

The questions you should ask when overtaking are, is it:

Undoubtedly you met the first criteria but it didn't sound like it was necessary and you could have waited.

Obviously she shouldn't rant and rave so she's lost any moral high ground.

Pheasantplucker2 Wed 20-Nov-19 13:52:34

I probably saved about a minute. Yes, absolutely not worth it in terms of time saved. grin Having walked the kids to school for the past 7 years and now driving out of necessity, I am frustrated by the vast majority of school run drivers. I am not a perfect driver, but I see constant examples of idiotic driving that individually are not a big deal, but cumulatively are the reasons why traffic gets so blocked up and everyone gets so het up. I'm always happy to let people out, for example, if I'm sitting in a queue, but I don't want to sit if the only reason is a wet driver, as this morning.

Equally, I'm happy to let kids cross the road if they look and acknowledge me, but usually they don't and when I remind them I'm there by a beep of the horn if they walk in front of my moving car, they swear or are rude (not just to me, to anyone). I have the misfortune to drive through 4 school runs and all the kids do it (in a naice area too).

I will try and find a more zen attitude to the school run in the future

purpleboy Wed 20-Nov-19 13:55:21

I'm with you op. Can't stand Bloody Sunday afternoon drivers. There's cautious and then there's just plain daft! Learn to drive confidently people or move of the road so the rest of us can get on with our day in a reasonable time frame!

mrsbyers Wed 20-Nov-19 13:57:01

A wet driver may be a new driver or one that has had an accident that has made her feel nervous she might simply have been driving a car that was strange to her and nervous about damaging it and was being super cautious - she had no right to be vile if that’s the case but really to save a minute was it worth it ? Maybe you need to look at your driving as it seems you’re very angry with a lot of different types of drivers and maybe driving in too aggressive a manner ?

UtterlyUnimaginativeUsername Wed 20-Nov-19 13:59:49

How were you to know she wasn't parking?

FreedomfromPE Wed 20-Nov-19 14:02:08

Sounding your horn to pedestrians is a wank thing to do. Especially as you're only doing it in order to get them to thank you for allowing them to cross the road. Whatever your reason is for doing the school run in the car it does not excuse your impatience with other road users. You behave aggressively and reap aggression in return.

Pheasantplucker2 Wed 20-Nov-19 14:07:53

To a pp, if my daughter would get out of bed on time I absolutely would stop and let her walk down the road!

SarahAndQuack Wed 20-Nov-19 14:09:52

YY, I agree with utterly - you had no way to know she wasn't parking and that's what I'd have said. Possibly with a side order of wide-eyed confusion. 'Gosh, so sorry, I really thought you'd stopped!'

She sounds nuts to have had a go at you. I wonder if she didn't check her blind spot properly and got a shock as she went to move off and realised you were in the process of overtaking, and that's what's rattled her.

SarahAndQuack Wed 20-Nov-19 14:10:50

(And, sounding your horn if someone steps out in front of your moving car isn't 'wank'. It's exactly what you should do!)

Beautiful3 Wed 20-Nov-19 14:13:11

I think yabu. She pulled in to let an oncoming car pass. You decide that you would overtake her because you felt confident you had time to pull into another space ahead to allow the on coming car to pass?! I.would be annoyed with you too. I never indicate when I'm obviously pulling to one side to allow another car to pass. Also honking at people crossing the road if they dont thank you isn't nice either.

Howlovely Wed 20-Nov-19 14:14:07

School runs can be so stressful. To all intents and purposes it looks as though she might have been parking, how are you supposed to know what her intentions were if she didn't indicate that she was going to pull out? She really made a tit of herself by screaming at you too.
To the PP who thinks that it's ok if you are a shit driver because you don't want to scratch your car, are you for real?! There is a basic standard that all drivers have to reach before being judged as safe to drive. There are absolutely no excuses for poor driving. If you cannot drive for the conditions and speed of the road then you have absolutely no business driving at all. A car is a powerful machine and can have catastrophic and fatal consequences in the wrong hands.

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