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AIBU?

To think that parents of twins

386 replies

scrapaja · 20/11/2019 11:20

Have it financially harder than parents of single kids.

The government recognise the financial hardship experienced by parents of children with disabilities and also recognise single babies' financial hardship - offering maternity leave and child benefit. But parents of twins - I don't feel seen or acknowledged as being different to a parent of a single baby but there are differences.

We didn't plan for two babies. I love them dearly.

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spacepyramid · 20/11/2019 11:31

Not really, if you have two children who are not twins then you still need to buy two lots of school uniform, school shoes etc etc. It is harder with twins but I don't think the cost is the harder part.

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formerbabe · 20/11/2019 11:33

Obviously two babies are more expensive than one but presumably if entitled to child benefit/tax credits/UC it is done on the basis of there being two rather than one. I'm not sure what else you want the government to do.

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scrapaja · 20/11/2019 11:35

Childcare is more expensive in bulk. It's not just two babies , it's two babies AT ONCE.
Also we get one maternity leave for two babies

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plantainchips · 20/11/2019 11:35

I see what you mean.
The costs come at the same time. For example, residency trips in year 6 can be quite costly. So having to pay for two children at the same is even more expensive.

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MoMandaS · 20/11/2019 11:35

The cost is spread over a longer time though and uniform etc can often be handed down. Certainly in the early years the cost of childcare is much more, often meaning one parent can't afford to work.

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MoMandaS · 20/11/2019 11:37

Sorry, I was replying to space.

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OddBoots · 20/11/2019 11:37

Probably over the course of 20 years twins probably costs similar to 2 separate babies but the big problem is that the expenses and exhaustion are all at once and front loaded, for many that would mean taking on debt and/or having to completely change plans.

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misspiggy19 · 20/11/2019 11:37

I agree with you OP. I don’t know anyone that could afford to pay 2 lots of childcare at the same time.

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spacepyramid · 20/11/2019 11:38

Uniform can only be handed down if you have two of the same or the sizes work. If I'd handed down uniform from DC#1 to DC#3 then they'd have been wearing very short trousers. Yes, childcare costs more but then you have one career break and not two so it probably evens out as you can get back to work and start earning and increasing your income without having another career break later.

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CarlsRightEye · 20/11/2019 11:38

Wait till they get to 16 and want designer gear 🤣

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PinkyU · 20/11/2019 11:39

You are being disgustingly unreasonable to compare having twins with having a disabled child.

Your twins will eventually be out of nappies, my child will not.

Your twins will eventually be out of their pram, my child won’t.

Your twins will eventually get longer from their clothing (resulted in less expenditure), my child needs changed 6+ times a day.

Your twins will eventually no longer need out of school care, my child won’t.

Your twins will eventually be able to work part time jobs, my child won’t.

Your twins will eventually be financially independent adults, my child won’t.

But yeah, poor you, you didn’t ask to have two babies at the same time.

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scrapaja · 20/11/2019 11:39

Thank you. I've had to leave work . I like being at home but I feel like I don't have the choice other parents have.

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MoMandaS · 20/11/2019 11:39

Not if you've already got an older child!

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MsRomanoff · 20/11/2019 11:40

You get one maternity leave for one pregnancy.

Also what about people who get accidentally pregnant when their first is very young? They have associated costs. Bigger pushchair, 2 in nappies etc

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JPharm · 20/11/2019 11:40

I think the problem with twins is that the cost of all the baby gear etc is all at once as opposed to spread out if you have children a few years apart.

The one benefit is that you only have to take one maternity leave. I have two children very close together, back to back maternity leaves have decimated any savings I once had.

I’m also not working got much profit when I go back as you don’t get free hours until they are 3. This I suppose is another issue with twins too.

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scrapaja · 20/11/2019 11:40

@PinkyU I wasn't comparing. I was stating you have financial difficulties like we do.

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TotHappy · 20/11/2019 11:41

Do you get child benefit for each at least op? I assume you do but don't know. And obviously the second lot is less, which is a it unfair in a twin situation.

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MissRabbitNeedsAHoliday · 20/11/2019 11:41

I do agree that it's harder, paying two sets of childcare at one time would make a lot of people unable to work. I don't know what the solution would be but I do agree it's harder.

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MsRomanoff · 20/11/2019 11:41

I was stating you have financial difficulties like we do.

It's not the same at all.

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justanotherlemontree · 20/11/2019 11:42

Also we get one maternity leave for two babies

Or ... you actually get two but you take them both at once?

I don't get this. When would you want to take your other maternity leave then, if it wasn't at the end of your pregnancy/start of your child's life?

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Velveteenfruitbowl · 20/11/2019 11:43

But then surely the main caring parent can get back to work sooner so it’s cheaper than having two apart. It’s more cost in front but a saving long term. At any rate it’s not a matter for the government, they really aren’t responsible for your reproductive choices.

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Lovemenorca · 20/11/2019 11:43

I would totally now be saving money if I had twins as just one childcare option required (nanny) as opposed to the fiendishly complicated and expensive childcare plan I have to have on place with two children three years apart

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Lovemenorca · 20/11/2019 11:44

* I do agree that it's harder, paying two sets of childcare at one time would make a lot of people unable to work. *

Average age gap is 2 years
So most parents have this

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CentralPerkMug · 20/11/2019 11:45

Wow! You think your financial difficulties are comparable to that of a family who have a disabled child? Oh my word. You sound very self centred op and clearly are feeling very sorry for yourself. I am sorry if you are struggling right now, however you need to understand that this is temporary. Unlike disabilities. You will be able to work again when they start school.

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PinkyU · 20/11/2019 11:45

You will be able to work full time (eventually) to meet the financial needs of your twins, I can’t even go to the toilet alone such are the needs of my child. She can’t attend after school or holiday clubs due to her needs and has currently been out of school for 2 months due to her medical needs.

My financial hardship is “met”, by a pittance of DLA per month which barely covers the cost of her nappies and travel to hospital, let alone the hundreds of £ per month it costs just to meet her basic needs.

I have zero pension contributions because I can’t work, nor can we afford to collect carers allowance as it would then lower our measly tax credits leaving us worse off.

You literally have no fucking clue!!

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