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AIBU to consider this sleeping arrangement-help!

(58 Posts)
Wammyjodger Tue 19-Nov-19 23:06:47

16 month old DD isn't walking independently, but doing everything else, so I don't think it will be long.

She absolutely detests her cot and is currently still cosleeping with us. We have a cosleeping crib thing attached to our bed, she doesn't mind it, and will spend the first part of the evening in it, but for the past few weeks she has been very unsettled, waking up after 30 or 40 minutes, taking ages to go back to sleep, screaming, going back to sleep for half an hour before she's up again....

I've really had enough, I'm knackered and desperately need adult time in the evenings.

DD will have her own room, but due to the layout of the house it's the floor above ours, an attic room, but it's a small flight of stairs and you can see her door from our door if that makes sense?

Should we consider changing her cot to the cot bed setting, putting up a bed guard and trying her in her own room? Part of me feels incredibly anxious at the thought, and I do like having her in with us throughout the night, but this evening thing is becoming so hard.

I am still breastfeeding too, if that makes a difference.

She is so tiny still, and I hate the thought of her lying up there on her own. AIBU or being silly?

MsChatterbox Tue 19-Nov-19 23:11:25

I wouldn't have a young child sleeping on a different floor. You hear too many stories of parents being unaware of the temp on that floor and the child overheating and unfortunately passing away. I would keep her in with you for a bit longer.

PomBearWithAnOFRS Tue 19-Nov-19 23:12:48

If you hate the very thought of it, then don't. You probably wouldn't sleep anyway for worrying about her.
Is there space for the cotbed in your room?
Or even a travel cot in your room?
We were really pushed for space when my youngest was tiny, and he slept in a travel cot at the end of my bed until he was three.

CheekyFuckersDontGetPastMe Tue 19-Nov-19 23:17:14

I’d give it a

CheekyFuckersDontGetPastMe Tue 19-Nov-19 23:18:25


I’d give it a try with a baby gate and monitor she may like her own space

Pinkypurple35 Tue 19-Nov-19 23:21:10

No I wouldn’t like the idea of such a young child being up a flight of stairs. Although not sure how you’re going to eventually work around that tbh if that’s the lay out if your house.

Wammyjodger Tue 19-Nov-19 23:25:19

I really doubt she'd overheat, we're in an old draughty cottage.

No room in our room for the cot, which she hates anyway. Plus part of the reason we think she's waking up is that there is quite a bit of low level noise going on which tends to be magnified in our room

HiJenny35 Tue 19-Nov-19 23:33:23

I'd put a full size single bed that way if you need to get in to settle her you aren't stuck in a cot bed. All mine went straight from co sleeping to single beds without issue.

Wammyjodger Tue 19-Nov-19 23:37:21

Hi jenny what age did you change them at?

TheBabyAteMyBrain Tue 19-Nov-19 23:45:26

Mattress on the floor. We co slept then just moved the dc to a mattress on the floor once they were ready for their own space. We tried toddler beds and bed guards but they wouldn't accept it, floor beds have worked well. They are also useful for bf as you can continue to bf lying down and then just leave when settled (or crash out). Plus you can still co sleep when the child is poorly or going through a regression. Basically whatever gets me sleep is the win in this house! Just need to remember to flip the mattress up in the day to air it out.

I wouldn't worry about dc being on a different level to you as long as you have a monitor to listen out for them. You'll sleep lightly anyway knowing they are a distance away from you.

maddening Tue 19-Nov-19 23:55:05

Can you put a double mattress on the floor in her room and dh cosleep with her up away from you and the milk?

For us it helped when I had an op and dh coslept instead of me, it totally broke the night waking as he still has someone there but not milk available 😁😁

19lottie82 Tue 19-Nov-19 23:59:09

You hear too many stories of parents being unaware of the temp on that floor and the child overheating and unfortunately passing away.

Say what? 😂 I have never heard of this in my life!

NeedAnExpert Tue 19-Nov-19 23:59:18

DD went from cosleeping to in her cot some of the time at about 15 months. By 16 months she had worked out how to high jump out her of it (despite a sleeping bag) so she went into a full size single age 17 months. Bought one with a trundle bed under it so it was taller, but we could leave the trundle out to provide a soft landing. Never needed it though.

OnTheFenceWithMostViews Wed 20-Nov-19 00:19:51

Never heard of the room temp thing. I have a couple of friends with town houses therefore they have a dc on a different floor!

Is it a sleep regression thing linked to a developmental leap?
We had that every so often.. Going through one now..
When we moved we put dd in her own room and she slept like a log.

MojoMoon Wed 20-Nov-19 00:23:00

You hear too many stories of parents being unaware of the temp on that floor and the child overheating and unfortunately passing away.

WHAT? In the UK?! The famously grey and mild UK?!
Please link to some news stories about this.

Expressedways Wed 20-Nov-19 00:25:43

Get her a single with a bed guard and a trundle underneath- it’s a soft landing if she gets out of bed and if you get desperate you can sleep there. Stair gate so she can’t get down the stairs. Video monitor to keep tabs on her.

Wammyjodger Wed 20-Nov-19 07:41:22

Thanks,some good ideas here. We actually have the IKEA fold out crash mat which DH pointed out would be handy for the floor by the side of the bed. Might try that with the cot bed and if it doesn't work think about just getting her a single. Think we'll try it in December when she's closer to 18 months and her room isn't used as Christmas storage any more!

Wammyjodger Wed 20-Nov-19 07:42:26

I'm so glad everyone else thinks the temperature danger thing isn't quite accurate too, that was baffling me!

LuckyKitty13 Wed 20-Nov-19 07:44:06

Matress on the floor! Safe and easy! Our 8 month old is on a matress on the floor

Newjobnewstart Wed 20-Nov-19 07:46:01

Mine have always been on a different floor from us no choice due to house layout. I wouldnt worry about that unless your in a mansion and it takes about 5 minutes to get to them.
I would go for it you need your sleep

MsChatterbox Wed 20-Nov-19 07:50:19

It's not to do with outside weather. It's to do with radiators working differently on different floors. However you can get thermostats with alarms on so this could solve that issue.

Here is one example of a young child unfortunately dying. Hopefully the link works.

MsChatterbox Wed 20-Nov-19 07:50:53

The link did not work. Just type in child overheats sleeping on different floor into Google. It will come up.

Widowodiw Wed 20-Nov-19 07:52:47

At 16 months it’s perfectly normal for her to be in her own room. Also, your house is as it is so she’s going to have to sleep up there at some point. As someone else said put a single bed up there so you can sleep there too if needed.

I have a three storey house and my kids sleep up the stairs from me. I was initially worried I wouldn’t hear them etc but I hear everything! Mine are older so sometimes wish I didn’t hear all their shouting etc? 🤣🤣

AJPTaylor Wed 20-Nov-19 07:53:24

I have never ever heard of a child dying from overheating in a room in this way! Try it. It may be that she is ready for space and quiet. If it doesn't work you have lost nothing

raisinseverywhere Wed 20-Nov-19 07:54:06

I thought I misread her age, but she's 16 months so definitely ready to sleep in her own room and bed now! Your sleep, and hers, will be so much better and you've got to do it some time. Really don't think the temperature in a different bedroom is a problem. How does everyone else cope! Keep a thermometer in her room and check each bed time if you're worried, adjusting the thickness of her bed linen for the seasons.

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