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Tell I am being unreasonable about Christmas

(28 Posts)
twitterusername Tue 19-Nov-19 22:14:25

Who would spend 4hrs in the M25 Traffic jam and then 4Hrs in an old age peoples home? To have your disabled Autistic teen shouted at by your sister in law and have your snide brother in law comment on all the lovely family heir looms he has snaffled away. Really who would spend Christmas like this or tell I am being unreasonable about Christmas? My mother in law has dementia who only remembers times when they were poor. My father in law talks about subjects you have got the foggiest idea with a social communication difficulty. As you can I am not looking forward to Christmas and would rather stay home alone. Please discuss xxx

BlackeyedSusan Tue 19-Nov-19 22:20:21

Stay home on your own with your disabled child. Put their needs first. That's your job.

OMGicantbelieveeit Tue 19-Nov-19 22:26:25

I would be reluctant to spend 4hrs in a car on Xmas day to visit relatives that I actually liked so certainly wouldn't be willing to do it for ones that I don't like!

twitterusername Tue 19-Nov-19 22:26:53

Thank-you darling.

Aderyn19 Tue 19-Nov-19 22:30:10

Stay home. Agree that your priority is your child. Even if you didn't have children, no one owes their ILs Christmas!

Aquamarine1029 Tue 19-Nov-19 22:30:20

I would be staying home, without question. Perhaps you could visit on another day with just your family.

Dollymixture22 Tue 19-Nov-19 22:40:47

Last year I cancelled all obligations and did what I wanted, spent time with people I loved. It was bliss.

Make yourself and you children happy. You deserve it.

TheBigFatMermaid Tue 19-Nov-19 22:43:27

Prioritise your child! Let the others crack on!

blackteasplease Tue 19-Nov-19 22:44:33

For the sake of your teen definitely stay home. The rest I could get past, but this is a good reason.

TheMidasTouch Tue 19-Nov-19 22:46:36

How does your DH feel about it?

MoonlightBonnet Tue 19-Nov-19 22:47:04

Is your DH insisting on this? Why can’t you and your DS stay at home?

plightofthealbatross Tue 19-Nov-19 22:48:10

It's your Christmas, too, and your son's.

Stay home and treat each other well.

If your DH is daft enough to feel he has to go, then let him join his extended family.

Luckingfovely Tue 19-Nov-19 22:51:21

Um. Yes. Stay home. That's it. Announce it, and refuse to think about it again.

SimpleSimonSaysU2 Tue 19-Nov-19 22:54:27

We had Christmas' like that when I was young. I couldn't wait for them to end. Now I miss all those people being around. Would love to see them again. ☹️

EL8888 Tue 19-Nov-19 22:56:40

I wouldn’t be going as it sounds like a nightmare. Maybe mysteriously you can wake up with the flu Christmas morning?

daffodilbrain Tue 19-Nov-19 23:02:36

Crikey I wouldn't be going . Just say it's too far for DS to travel and it's his Xmas too. Suggest you visit before or after

scoobydoo1971 Tue 19-Nov-19 23:06:36

I feel that a really bad winter 'flu' ought to hit your household a few days before Christmas that makes it unsafe to travel (like others have suggested)...life is too short for struggling with motorways in December, don't you think?

Bluerussian Tue 19-Nov-19 23:08:35

Stay at home with your child who should NOT be shouted at.
It's a sad business for the elderly lady with dementia but as you say, she won't know you're not there.

Travis1 Tue 19-Nov-19 23:09:25

All of the nopes

morriseysquif Tue 19-Nov-19 23:10:14

Just because they are family, doesn't mean you have to like them or spend any time with them. They sound horrible, spend the way you would like to.

Collision Tue 19-Nov-19 23:11:29

So don’t do it.

You are a grown up with a mind of your own and you should use it.

No. That doesn’t work for me. I’m staying home with Jack and watching TV and drinking sherry.

Crack on with your celebrations and I will catch up with you another time.

Purpleartichoke Tue 19-Nov-19 23:15:09

Your teen comes first
Visit the nursing home on a day that traffic isn’t a nightmare. Even offer to go twice in exchange for skipping Christmas Day. Spreading out the family visits so you don’t all show up on the same day and then they have no visitors for long spells of time is actually a good idea anyway.

vivariumvivariumsvivaria Tue 19-Nov-19 23:15:37

I'lll tell you YABU if that's what you want. But, I'd be lying.

It's a truth that visiting elderly relatives in a care home full of vulnerable people when you feel flu-ey is ill advised.

Everyone knows that

GetOffTheTableMabel Tue 19-Nov-19 23:18:14

Absolutely not. No.

mumwon Tue 19-Nov-19 23:23:00

I am not joking - grandmas aren't just for Christmas - best to arrange to go by yourself for short periods at other times of year - as frequently as is feasible. & you obviously cant go if you develop flu/cold/v&d

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