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Cafe wouldn’t let pregnant woman use toilet

(345 Posts)
searchingforlight Tue 19-Nov-19 10:00:53

I’ve just ordered some breakfast for collection from a local cafe round the corner and had a quick flick through the reviews first. The most recent review is:

‘As a heavily pregnant lady went in desperate for the bathroom and they refused to let me use their toilet despite me being in tears and not close to anywhere else open. In a packed shop full of customers, they said no with no heart, no remorse, no feeling. Have never been more horrified, myself and my husband will never be using this place again’

I feel like it’s a bit harsh and the bit about there being nowhere to go close by is very untrue. There’s a Morrison’s maximum 5 minutes walk away with toilets. As a (second time) pregnant woman myself I wouldn’t get annoyed if an establishment didn't let me use staff toilets, I’d just find somewhere with public ones. The cafe gave a long response as to why they couldn’t let her use the bathroom. Mainly because their insurance didn’t cover customers in the staff area of the cafe and there were lots of boxes etc. laid about. If the pregnant woman had hurt herself then it probably wouldn’t have been good for them. They also said they managed to get the keys for the toilet in the opposite pub so it’s not like the reviewer didn’t get to use one. I think it was quite kind of them to go to the effort of making sure she used a bathroom.

Do you think she’s being reasonable or not? I think she’s being a bit U due to there being a Morrison’s so close by! (I’m not the cafe owner just interested in people’s views). My DM thinks they should have let her use it no questions asked purely because she was pregnant, I’m a little unsure

isabellerossignol Tue 19-Nov-19 10:03:56

I think if they helped her find an alternative toilet then they did nothing wrong. It's not like they pointed and laughed.

Although I do think there should be some sort of system whereby councils give rates reductions or something like that to business who will allow the public to use their toilets. There just aren't very many public toilets available and it's very limiting for people who have bladder or bowel problems.

PrincessandthePeach Tue 19-Nov-19 10:04:08

It's all good and well saying that there's a Morrison's only 5 mins away. But if you are desperate to go 5 mins feels like a lifetime.
I'm not pregnant and never have been but I have a weak bladder and could not wait 5 minutes to go. I would wet myself.

JacquesHammer Tue 19-Nov-19 10:05:28

She WBU given they went above and beyond to actually find her a loo to use.

The lack of public facilities isn’t down to a business to solve unless they receive some benefit from the council.

She could easily have bought something to use the loo.

Samcro Tue 19-Nov-19 10:05:44

if they have a toilet that is for customers only.. then she needed to buy something.
if they don't have a customer toilet, they can't just let the general public use the staff one. (thinks security)

LoyaltyBonus Tue 19-Nov-19 10:06:39

That must be awful Princess. How do you always manage to be no more than 5 mins from a toilet?

Seeline Tue 19-Nov-19 10:06:43

* Mainly because their insurance didn’t cover customers in the staff area of the cafe and there were lots of boxes etc. laid about.*

This makes it sound as though she was wanting to use a staff toilet? As a café, surely there is a toilet for public use? I can definitely see why they wouldn't want any member of the public using hte staff facilities.

araiwa Tue 19-Nov-19 10:07:31

myself and my husband will never be using this place again’

Oh no! A non-customer not returning

readysteadybaby Tue 19-Nov-19 10:07:45

I had spd during pregnancy. It would have been impossible for me to walk 5 mins.

I get that usually they wouldn't let customers use the toilet, but surely exceptions can be made for those in desperate circumstances.

Celebelly Tue 19-Nov-19 10:07:48

What a ridiculously overdramatic review, made even worse by the fact they went above and beyond to try to help her. But I'm sure someone will
come along soon to try to justify it with 'hormones', because we all know when we are pregnant we lose all sense of rationality and can't be held responsible for our actions.

Keepthebloodynoisedown Tue 19-Nov-19 10:09:17

When I worked in retail, I would have lost my job if I’d let someone use the staff toilets.
I also have ibs and have a weak bladder and you have to plan ahead not blame others people because you didn’t.

UOkhun77 Tue 19-Nov-19 10:11:53

YABU. I think it’s very unreasonable for any cafe not to have a customer toilet, and to say that she could have ambled 5 mins down the road to Morrison’s is also unreasonable, you don’t know the state of the woman’s bladder. In that scenario the urgency can come on very quickly and it can be quite excruciating.

It all seems a bit “computer says no” to me. Surely if they were genuinely worried about an insurance claim someone could have escorted her to the loo to make sure she didn’t trip on boxes or whatever. Sound like a bunch of inflexible jobsworths to me.

Disfordarkchocolate Tue 19-Nov-19 10:12:46

Small cafes don't have to provide public toilets. Non-access to staff toilets is fine.

LaurieFairyCake Tue 19-Nov-19 10:13:06

The problem is that a cafe doesn't have toilets for customers use confused

That's not ok. It used to be they had to?

I'm sick of going in cafes, buying food and drink and then being told there's no loo to pee in and to go to public toilets, shopping centre toilets.

Samcro Tue 19-Nov-19 10:13:44

imagine you let a non customer or even a customer use the staff toilet and something is stolen??

Boom45 Tue 19-Nov-19 10:13:45

Why on earth does a cafe only have a staff toilet? That's just weird. I wouldn't use a cafe without toilet facilities - one cup of coffee leaves me needing a wee everytime these days....

SurvivingCBeebies Tue 19-Nov-19 10:15:47

Being heavily pregnant and having bad pgp I would have been disappointed, but considering they came up with an alternative: I think the review was out of order.. had they not have done that and I'd have pissed myself, I would have put a warning to other pregnant women about not being able to use a facility to avoid the same happening to them.

sweeneytoddsrazor Tue 19-Nov-19 10:16:33

Where I work we have customer toilets that are available for the general public and they are bloody disgraceful. Completely minging. I have no idea why people cannot use a toilet properly or think its ok to trash public toilets but they do.

Significantudder Tue 19-Nov-19 10:18:37

I’m really on the fence with this one.

I think seeing the state many toilets are left in, I work in a publicly accessible building and they are often left completely gross. I’m talking sanitary towels left on the side of the sink, wee all over the seat and floor, or worse. I can see where any business is coming from limiting their use to customers only.

But on the other side of the coin, my just turned 2 y.o, just potty trained dd wet herself on her way to the nearest (less than 5 mins walk) public loo when a cafe, completely empty at the time and I am a regular customer, wouldn’t let her use the loo. At the time I was in such a panic, literally first time out of the house post potty training and on a busy main road so portapotty not ideal, I didn’t offer to buy anything. I just picked her up and legged it. Ended up both of us covered in wee 😬

wineymummy Tue 19-Nov-19 10:22:27

I had DD (2) in Tesco a week or so ago, she's only recently toilet trained and announced she needed a wee. Got to the customer loo and it was out of order. Cue having to explain to DD that the toilet was broken and could she hold on. A security man intervened and went to find a staff member who escorted us to the staff toilets instead. Surely if Tesco can do this...a cafe can do the same. Having said that, given that the cafe helped find an alternative for the pregnant lady across the road, she was BU to leave a snarky review.

HoppingPavlova Tue 19-Nov-19 10:26:03

I get that usually they wouldn't let customers use the toilet, but surely exceptions can be made for those in desperate circumstances.

But where do you draw the line. Due to birth injuries I need the toilet in more of a hurry than I ever did while pregnant. So imo a pregnant person would not trump myself and there have been a few to-do’s with this when they try and queue jump in public facilities automatically thinking they are more deserving than anyone else in the queue grin.

What about people with IBS? Do they automatically get to use staff toilets. What about people with stoma’s and bags? Does everyone need to carry some sort of card (like a toilet Blue Badge) justifying their need for special access to non-public toilets? Can’t see this working and don’t see why pregnant women trump others with issues.

DontbeaBabs Tue 19-Nov-19 10:33:05

She needed the toilets, the cafe found her some toilets.

That woman is an idiot.

bobstersmum Tue 19-Nov-19 10:33:07

Another entitled snowflake, with the, I'm pregnant so you must bend the rules for me!
I've had 3 babies, with spd each time that left me on crutches, and never been in this situation.
The pregnant woman was being very unreasonable to leave such a review.

BuzzShitbagBobbly Tue 19-Nov-19 10:35:54

They also said they managed to get the keys for the toilet in the opposite pub so it’s not like the reviewer didn’t get to use one.

Unless they literally magicked them up out of thin air, it seems like this would have taken more than a few minutes to sort as well (not counting the walk over to get to that loo). Longer or shorter than the walk to Morrisons?

1300cakes Tue 19-Nov-19 10:38:06

If she had to be a customer, she could have bought something. A take away coffee or a muffin or something. Or just said sell me the cheapest thing you have and don't actually give it to me/give it to the next customer, it would have probably been a cookie for £1 or similar.

Oh no! A non-customer not returning

This grin

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