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It’s a mother in law at xmas one!

(54 Posts)
Ohidontknow99 Mon 18-Nov-19 20:49:08

So it will be mine and my partners first xmas as a couple ,his mum has always been abit annoying but nothing I can’t handle.

Christmas got mentioned a few months ago and she started saying “well WE usually do this on xmas eve and this on xmas day etc” .myself and partner agreed between ourselves that for the main part of the day we would like it to just be us , she didn’t like this and we have ended up inviting her and her partner over for dinner which I don’t mind too much. However Christmas morning I was looking forward to it being just us before they come over , last week she started saying to him “well what time will we visit so and so in the morning” so he said to her quite firmly “no I won’t be doing that this year etc but we will see you for dinner” she looked at him with pure rage and said we “will discuss this another time” , aibu to just want some bloody time alone on xmas day !!! Shouldn’t she realise he’s a grown man now and some traditions are going to change , any advice on how to cope with annoying MILs over xmas greatly appreciated ! Thanks

Ohidontknow99 Tue 19-Nov-19 00:01:38

@Wearywithteens I think you are spot on actually , I am intrigued now to see how he handles this !

shiningstar2 Tue 19-Nov-19 00:17:06

If you are living together then naturally you are going to make some new traditions together. You are going about it the right way because you are not excluding his mother. She is at the central part of your day because she is invited to Christmas lunch ...the main social event of Christmas day. However I don't think you should be expected to stay at home making the Christmas lunch alone while your dp goes off for the morning with mil. Hardly a fun time for you. Nor is it fun to tag along while wondering when you are going to get the dinner started.

Of course you should have a bit of time in the morning with your partner. Nothing wrong in wanting that if he wants it as well. You will be far happier including his dm at lunch time if you have had a bit of time to yourselves as well. I would, with your dh's support, start as you mean to go on. You are not being exclusive wanting part of the day for yourselves. Hope it works out ok for all 3 of you op.

ineedaholidaynow Tue 19-Nov-19 00:36:46

Is the MIL expecting you to stay at home and cook the dinner whilst she spends time with her son?

Are the visits to other family members or friends? Could your DP visit them another time, if he wants to?

MrsCBY Tue 19-Nov-19 00:52:10

She reacted with rage to her adult son saying he wanted to do his own thing on Christmas morning, and implied it wasn’t his decision to make.

The fact so many of you are perfectly ok with that just shows how many people think dysfunctionality is perfectly normal.

We’re all doomed.

Hope he doesn’t fold, OP.

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