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When your gut feeling was spot on

(152 Posts)
marriedwithhounds Mon 18-Nov-19 20:21:04

Feeling an intense mixture of emotions and hoping that others will relate in some way.

When I was little (maybe about 10?) I remember telling my mum that my great uncle had touched my bum when he had his arm around me. She said she was sure he hadn't meant to and not to worry - but not to hug him any more if I didn't feel comfortable. I never hugged him again after that and he never tried to hug me.

I always had a bad feeling about him. Fast forward 20 years and it's now confirmed that he is a pedophile with a penchant for young boys. My gut instinct was right about him.

AIBU to ask you for similar experiences? DSis thinks you can't trust gut instincts but I defo feel vindicated.

LakieLady Mon 18-Nov-19 20:28:28

At work, I had to assess a young male client. Something about him made me feel a bit uneasy, so I did a fair bit of digging about and found he was under the Youth Offending Team. When I eventually managed to get hold of his YOT worker, he said he was concerned because this 16-year old appeared to "enjoy" violence.

We turned the potential client down for support, partly on risk gounds.

Three years later, he and a mate kicked a man to death.

TheSandman Mon 18-Nov-19 20:30:34

Jimmy Saville lived near us and occasionally we would find ourselves in the same room. He made my skin crawl.

Gre8scott Mon 18-Nov-19 20:32:03

Every morning I get look outside and think oh shot the rabbits dead then he hops into soght and im like phew my gut was wrong mynhusband however said oh im a bit worried i havent seen the rabbit today went outside and the bloodly thing was dead attacked in his cage
Gut instant is definately a thing

BillHadersNewWife Mon 18-Nov-19 20:33:52

Oh yes. The Saville one. I remember watching him on his Fix It show...I was about 6...and there was this girl there sitting on his knee and he was talking to her in a sort of telling off, impatient way. And she looked close to tears...all this on his bastard show! On air! And I was HORRIFIED. I thought "Why's he telling her off like that and why's she almost crying? It's meant to be fun!"

But I could not put my finger on why....

ParkheadParadise Mon 18-Nov-19 20:36:21

The first time i met my dd's partner. I can't describe the feeling I had.
She wouldn't listen to anything I said about him.
After years of on/off relationship she finally seen sense and dumped him.

3 mths later he murdered her in horrific circumstances.
I hated him from the moment I met him and always will.

PinkBalloon123 Mon 18-Nov-19 20:40:12

@parkheadparadise I'm so sorry x

marriedwithhounds Mon 18-Nov-19 20:50:22

Oh @ParkheadParadise I'm so sorry

ExGinUser Mon 18-Nov-19 21:02:43

My gut feeling about this site was definitely correct!

imcold Mon 18-Nov-19 21:07:23

@Gre8scott I do this every morning with our rabbit too! grin

thepeopleversuswork Mon 18-Nov-19 21:08:03

I had a similar experience with a male teacher at primary school. To my knowledge he never touched anyone or crossed that sort of a line but he used to make remarks about the way we dressed etc, eg when we got dressed for a Christmas disco, that I knew, even aged 9 or 10, were not quite right.

30 years after leaving primary school I found out he had been convicted for sexually assaulting a girl he was tutoring.

There but for the grace of god etc.

I also know my gut has served me in numerous ways when in relationships with shady behaviour. When my first "proper" boyfriend ran off with someone else I knew several days before someone warned me what was happening and weeks before he eventually fessed up.

ymf117 Mon 18-Nov-19 21:09:51

@ParkheadParadise I'm so sorry to read that

I have a lot of gut feelings about people, hope to god it never leads to that, just devastating.

Minai Mon 18-Nov-19 21:18:20

When I met my sister’s (now ex) boyfriend. Instantly made my skin crawl and got a very controlling vibe from him even though he seemed perfectly pleasant on the surface. My mum liked him and told me I was being silly. Turned out he was a manipulative and controlling man who was physically and emotionally abusive to my sister. I knew the second I met him somehow.

Savingforarainyday Mon 18-Nov-19 21:22:31

So sorry @ParkheadParadise

spacepyramid Mon 18-Nov-19 21:30:18

I met a man a few years ago who came across as very creepy, I don't know what it was about it but I wouldn't trust him as far as I could throw him. I just know that one day I'll see him being sent to prison for something. DH thinks he's a great guy but I have never let the DCs see him, I hope I am not right.

Stormwhale Mon 18-Nov-19 21:47:27

At my primary school a new head teacher was appointed and I was one of a few pupils asked to meet him during the selection process. I guess they wanted to see what he was like with the children.

I felt very uncomfortable around him, even though he was perfectly pleasant. I told my mum that I didn't like him and she said it was probably because I was used to a female head teacher.

A few years after I left the primary school he was arrested and imprisoned for having thousands of child sexual abuse images on his computer at the school.

ShirleyPhallus Mon 18-Nov-19 21:54:24

@ParkheadParadise I am so sorry, how awful flowers

I find the link between gut instinct and anxiety really interesting. With anxiety, you are constantly listening to what you think is your gut feeling but isn’t. Ie “I just know my boyfriend will dump me”. Then if he doesn’t, you totally ignore it, and if he does, you use it as a reason to say to yourself “see, I told you so”. It’s a totally negative cycle and your gut instincts rarely prove to be right.

When I had CBT a lot of it was understanding what is your gut and what’s anxiety. But very difficult to tell them apart sometimes.

missyB1 Mon 18-Nov-19 21:55:48

When ds was 10 weeks old and one morning not feeding well /looking pale/ drowsy. I just knew it was meningitis. Sneery junior doctor at hospital asked me why I had brought him there and told me to go home. I refused to leave and insisted he was monitored on the ward, 4 hours later they diagnosed meningitis.
Thank God I trusted my instincts and fought for my baby. After 3 weeks in hospital he made a full recovery.

user1479305498 Mon 18-Nov-19 21:56:49

I employed someone to work with me and H and a little voice in my head said 'she's going to be trouble' although a friendly , jolly single mum in her 40s on the surface. H thought I was being daft and in many ways she fitted the bill . She turned out to want me to lie to the benefits office , constantly texted my husband with just general friendly chit chat all times of day and wanted paying weekly and hassled if not in her account by a certain time that day, even though I was paying her weekly 'as a favour to help her out' .

TheSandman Mon 18-Nov-19 22:12:47

Curious how we all assumed that 'Gut Feeling' meant negative.

I KNEW within minutes of meeting her that this strange girl who lured me back from the pub to her flat with the promise of chocolate cake was THE ONE.

We're still together 20 odd years and 3 kids later.

EmmiJay Mon 18-Nov-19 22:13:00

My gut is finely tuned now lol. I couldn't shake the feeling something had happened to my dad one night. I called him and got no answer. The following day I was contacted by the hospital to say he'd been admitted that morning. I knew I didn't like a friend's new friend immediately after meeting her. She went on to try to sleep with my friends boyfriend a few months later. Some people me and DD come across we recoil from because something doesnt feel right about them. Its all abit mad really.

Ariela Mon 18-Nov-19 22:13:18

There was a boy in my junior school whose behaviour was just a bit odd, always getting into trouble, quite verbal and used to harass the girls we all disliked him, he had no real friends. I suspect he came from an abusive family, there were brothers of similar repute in the lower classes.. Found out a few years later he raped a girl, was in all the papers., discussed this with another boy from the class who I'd vaguely kept in touch with and he said none of the other boys liked him either.

ParkheadParadise Mon 18-Nov-19 22:17:33

That's nice TheSandman
It true most people's gut feelings are usually negative.

hamstersarse Mon 18-Nov-19 22:25:20

Gavin de Becker’s book on intuition (fear) is absolutely excellent on the usefulness and accurateness of intuition, or fear

thetwinkletoescollective Mon 18-Nov-19 22:25:49

@missyB1 - there has been some research on newborns and mothers instinct and the very strong correlation. I thought it was even taught to training doctors to always listen if the mother thinks there is something wrong. Well done for staying.

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