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DH goes to his Xmas party, I'm not allowed

(131 Posts)
1Supersonic Mon 18-Nov-19 18:20:06

Hi I would like some advice.

I work part-time and DH works full time. He stops me attending any functions outside of work where he can. Last year there was a works team meal and he put obstacles in my way so I couldn't attend. I have never had the chance to attend the work Christmas party. He always invents a reason that I cannot go. I know if I did get around it he would make my life a misery.

Now he is going to a works Christmas meal and I feel annoyed. How come he is allowed out and I am not.

hopeishere Mon 18-Nov-19 18:20:54

Because he is a controlling dickhead and you're not.


BumblebeeBum Mon 18-Nov-19 18:21:25

When you say that if you went he’d make your life a misery - what does that look like?

AutumnRose1 Mon 18-Nov-19 18:21:43

Only advice is to leave.

namina Mon 18-Nov-19 18:21:52

Leave him he's a controlling idiot

richteasandcheese Mon 18-Nov-19 18:22:06

Because he's an abusive arsehole and you haven't realised it yet

MellowBird85 Mon 18-Nov-19 18:22:13

You do realise this is a form of domestic abuse? He’s controlling you. Why are you with him?

X0X0 Mon 18-Nov-19 18:23:10

Why are you with him?

Smelborp Mon 18-Nov-19 18:23:22

What would happen if you just go? He’s not your keeper. He’s treating you like a belonging.

LemonSqueezy0 Mon 18-Nov-19 18:23:36

In what other ways is he dominating, controlling and abusive?

Biggles398 Mon 18-Nov-19 18:23:37

So what does he say when you say "it's our works do on 19th December and I'd like to go"?

Likethebattle Mon 18-Nov-19 18:24:05

Put obstacles in his way, make his life a misery in the same way so he gets it.

GabriellaMontez Mon 18-Nov-19 18:24:21

How does he stop you?

LannieDuck Mon 18-Nov-19 18:24:46

Go to your works xmas dinner?

How will he make your life miserable?

Silencedwitness Mon 18-Nov-19 18:24:56

He’s a controlling piece of shit. He has no right to dictate things like this.

Nat6999 Mon 18-Nov-19 18:25:03

I was a civil servant, partners & Husbands or wives were never allowed at our Christmas parties or lunches.

Majorcollywobble Mon 18-Nov-19 18:25:06

Honestly if he was being fair he would not go to his own Christmas do if he blocks you going to yours . Unfortunately fair doesn’t seem to figure in all of this . Is he usually trying to control what you do - who you see and where you go ?
How would he make your life a misery exactly if you were to go - sulking or worse ?

FlamingGalar Mon 18-Nov-19 18:25:30

In what way would he make your life misery if you did go OP?

Does he stop you from seeing your friends outside of work too?

Winterdaysarehere Mon 18-Nov-19 18:25:37

And you married him why?
Make plans to leave never mind just go to a party!
Hope you haven't got dc with him...

MsRomanoff Mon 18-Nov-19 18:25:46

This is exact situation happened to me. And when I realised why I never went out (because he was cause an argument) I woke up to the fact that he was controlling in many other ways.

It was just this was the first thing I noticed.

hammeringinmyhead Mon 18-Nov-19 18:26:01

That's not a marriage. He isn't in charge of you.

JumpyLiz Mon 18-Nov-19 18:26:15

How come he is allowed out and I am not

Totally the wrong question. You should be asking yourself why you’re allowing somebody else to dictate what you can and can’t do.

zen1 Mon 18-Nov-19 18:27:38

He cannot stop you from going. If you want to go, go. He cannot say what you are and are not allowed to do. I’m sorry you’re married to someone who wants to control you.

CherryPavlova Mon 18-Nov-19 18:27:43

Find your inner dragon. Make your plan to go and laugh off his objections as silliness. What do you mean making your life a misery? Moaning and not driving you - tell him to grow up and get over himself; throwing things and calling you a whore - consider what value he brings to your life.

DawgLover Mon 18-Nov-19 18:28:05

Is it just work events? Or all social events? This sounds incredibly controlling.

Do you have children together?

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