To ask if you would marry a man with no kids?

[Celebrationschocs]

If you had 3 children of your own?

[AnyFucker]

Is this a pretend question ?

[CareOfPunts]

Yes, I wouldn’t marry someone who had them though. At least not if they were young/dependant children

[Finchy19]

I wouldn't marry someone with them.

[dontalltalkatonce]

No. But I wouldn't remarry at all. And don't tell me, 'You never know.' I've been married 3x, there is NFW I am ever doing this again.

[HeresMe]

Put it back the other way would a man marry a woman who had 3 kids.

[Celebrationschocs]

@AnyFucker I've always said I would never date/marry a man without children, as I'd prefer someone with children so they know what it's like. But now I don't know,

[ghostmouse]

I wouldn't marry someone with young dependent kids, been there done that and never ever again.

My current dp I'd marry him tomorrow if I could. I've 4 dc and his dd is grown up now with her own life..much better

[AnyFucker]

Any other insights as to his character, behaviour, past experiences etc ?

No ? Just whether he has children or not ?

[Celebrationschocs]

@ghostmouse you have 4 children and you prefer someone without children? Interesting.

[BinkyandBunty]

I wouldn't marry anyone if either of us had kids under 18.

[user1473878824]

I don’t have children so I suppose my fiancé should dump me because after three years I just have no idea.

[dontalltalkatonce]

Why the need to blend families at all? Can't you have a relationship with someone without having to live together/procreate/complicate things?

[Ellisandra]

I’d probably make my decision based on the actual individual in question.

[Foghead]

I wouldn’t marry again. Especially not while the kids were young.
Can’t be dealing with all that.

[JumpyLiz]

I wouldn’t have married someone with kids.

[VeniceQueen2004]

If I broke up with my daughter's father, I wouldn't have any unrelated man living in the house with my children, ever. You never know anyone, really. You can think you do but you could always be wrong. What could possibly motivate someone to take that risk just for a relationship you can conduct perfectly well outside the child's home? And if the answer is 'to have more children with the new man', then I would also never make my child the odd one out in her own household by making her the stepchild and the half-sibling in a family where all the other members are related to each other.

But to answer your question, man with no kids if you have kids is a way better option for your kids than a man with kids of his own already (unless you intend to have more kids with him).

[SignOnTheWindow]

I had 2 young DC and married a man in his 40s with no kids. I cannot find words enough to express what a wonderful father he is to them and husband to me. He did go a bit pale the first time he changed a nappy though...

[HeadsShouldersSneezeandColds]

Maybe. I wouldn't rule out a relationship/marriage based on that.
Genuine question- those who were saying "not if they were young/dependant"- why?

[dontalltalkatonce]

Oh, back when I had no kids, though? I wouldn't even date a man who had kids at all. Instant dealbreaker. Would be no relationship because I wasn't going there. If he lied and didn't tell me right away, extra fast dump. Nope.

[VeniceQueen2004]

@Celebrationschocs - why do you say @ghostmouse reply is "interesting"? She has 4 kids! Prioritising their mental wellbeing and physical safety, from a risk management point of view, surely it makes sense to look to reduce the number of new people they haven't chosen that she brings into their lives?

[Celebrationschocs]

@VeniceQueen2004
But to answer your question, man with no kids if you have kids is a way better option for your kids than a man with kids of his own already (unless you intend to have more kids with him).

That's interesting you say that, why is that?

[HowDeepIsYourGlove]

@VeniceQueen2004 because children are never abused by their own family members are they
You never know anyone, really could also be applied to your own husband then?

[Boom45]

I don't think I'd marry/live with anyone at all while my kids were young. I've seen a few of my friends go from happily dating to unhappily trying to fit a man they loved into their home and family and never yet seen it work out well. The closest anyone has got has been with men without children - then at least they haven't had the clash of parenting styles and 4 different parents to accommodate when organising holidays and working hours etc

[user1473878824]

@Ellisandra The most normal response on this thread. Everyone’s a paedo at best and having a life will ruin your childrens’, apparently.

[VeniceQueen2004]

@headsshouldersSneezeansColds I would hazard a guess because they will if young/dependent preoccupy a lot of his time, emotional energy and possibly income - therefore he wil not be able to contribute fully to the household he is joining (i.e. the poster's young children's household). Seems daft to take someone into their lives who is from the very get-go not in a position to be able to make them his first priority. What's the benefit to either the new partner's existing kids, or the poster's kids?