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What I wanted to say, what I actually said...

(186 Posts)
YouthGoneMild Sun 17-Nov-19 20:14:15

As I’ve got older I’ve got better at biting my tongue, but sometimes what I wanted to say (versus what I actually said) bubbles angrily in me and today is one of those days!

So feel free to join me in letting out that you actually wanted to say and what you actually said. I guess this is lighthearted, so don’t go too deep, ok?

I’ll go first before I exploded:

What I said “I’m sure the school are trying their hardest and the staff are very stretched”

What I wanted to say “Your sense of entitlement makes me want to scream. I’m sure the teacher has better things to worry about than one sodding missing Smiggle pen and you’re a total knob for trying to speak to the Head about it!!!”’

What I said: “Yes, I guess it is our turn to go to your Father’s for Christmas as we’ve not spent it with him for 5 years”.

What I wanted to say “I’d rather eat Xmas
dinner at McDonalds than sit in the company of that drunken, arrogant snob. At least there no one will get so drunk that they wet themselves” (past Xmas nightmare visit)

Ooooh that felt good!!

SamBeckett Sun 17-Nov-19 21:36:11

I cant recall any right now but I am sure I will do soon

TiptopJ Sun 17-Nov-19 21:39:45

What I want to say
"Here's your change madam"

What I actually said

I was a 18, a Saturday girl and very very hungover

MsRomanoff Sun 17-Nov-19 21:52:16

I asked someone on my team to check and send a report, as I has a presentation to do.

She replied 'actually, I dont do that usually, so I am going to push it back to you, thanks'

What I said was 'the presentation needs to be with the board this afternoon, so I need you to make sure X report goes out. Ok?'

What I wanted to say 'push it back? I am making a presentation to secure the future of the team and keeping YOU and me and everyone else in a fucking job. It's your job to do the do the fucking report'

What I want to say to her in general is 'yes I know you are best mates with the woman I replaced. I know you think the sun shines out of her backside, but I was brought specifically because she botched things things up, which she admitted herself and the reporting was a fucking mess. Be best friends with her, but if I hear one more fucking 'susan wouldn't have done it this way' or 'susan wouldnt have asked me to do that' I am going to lose my shit'

Of course I say 'that's nice. Susan doesnt run the team anymore though.'

AtSea1979 Sun 17-Nov-19 21:57:33

I have the complete opposite problem. As I get older I bite my tongue less. Sometime I realise i’ve been rude and should have kept it to myself.
Except where DP is concerned. He said “i’m not changing for anyone, take it or leave it” I wanted to say your an immature dick head and i’ll leave it thanks, instead I said ok sad

Candle1000 Sun 17-Nov-19 22:00:30

What I said ‘ gosh you are a lucky girl (her parents had just spent £250 on a pair of boots for her )

What I wanted to say ‘ you fucking ungrateful child, wipe that bloody sour puss expression off your moody face and say thank you ‘

Pipanchew2 Sun 17-Nov-19 22:13:19

What I said to my mortified 3 year old ‘it’s ok sweetie sometimes we don’t know farts are going to actually be poos’

What I wanted to say ‘OMFG you just shat on my sofa!!!!! And why the hell are you sitting on the sofa with no pants on??!!!!!’

SadForNoReason Sun 17-Nov-19 22:39:55

What I wanted to say 'you did what?? You deducted 4 hours for my final salary due to leave? Never mind the fact that I have worked in excess of 200 hours unpaid overtime this year for the god damn company... You can fuck right off deducting 4 hours from you ass holes'

What I actually said - 'oh, ok, no problem'

sad (at least I've left now!!)

HowDeepIsYourGlove Sun 17-Nov-19 23:02:44

What I said (actually it was a plea/ borderline beg) to my ExH “Please consider taking our son to his best friend’s birthday party. I know it’s your weekend but he’ll be heartbroken not to go”

What I wanted to say “You selfish fucking cunt. He’s 5 fucking years old and you’re refusing to give up 2 hours on a fucking Sunday as a one off so your son can go to a party. You’d rather try to spite me and upset your own child than do the right thing! And no I won’t pay for present you tight bastard!!!!” angry

Ahhh that actually felt good grin

HowDeepIsYourGlove Sun 17-Nov-19 23:04:08

@SadForNoReason if you were leaving you should have said it!

Andysbestadventure Sun 17-Nov-19 23:11:20

"I love you..."
"Congratulations on your engagement!"

One day I'll tell him.

EdinaMonsoon Sun 17-Nov-19 23:20:03

Pressed send too soon 🙈...

Standing at the till in a department store, being served by young male assistant - prob late teens - who was also clearly being trained/supervised. I’m paying for my items & DH is standing beside me. Male sales assistant asks me “are you Christmas shopping?” And, before I can reply, winks at DH & says “Is She dragging you round the shops mate?”...

What I should have said “You’re clearly new to this. Probably wise not to patronise female customers in future.”

What I actually said: “Wow. Excellent example of everyday sexism there, MATE”

I was harsh & therefore probably unreasonable but FFS, I’m 48yo & am not going to take being patronised.

IWorkAtTheCheescakeFactory Sun 17-Nov-19 23:25:25

What I wanted to say: “DS can you empty the dishwasher please?”

What I actually said: “Christmas”

confused grin

Lulualla Sun 17-Nov-19 23:27:42

Hungover during my student job.

What I wanted to say - "would you like a carrier bag?"

What I said - "Would you like a baggity bag?".

Everyone started calling them baggity bags after that. It was a really boring job so even the smallest thing entertained!

Oldfail Sun 17-Nov-19 23:29:52

What I said to 2 year old.... if you have done a poo you need to tell mummy or daddy not shove your hand down your nappy.

What I really wanted to say... why the fuck have you scooped shit out of your nappy for the 3rd time this week.... why are you so obsessed with sticky smelly crap... I dont understand and I dont think you do either...... followed by me crying and having a breakdown

IWorkAtTheCheescakeFactory Sun 17-Nov-19 23:34:24

Ooh one I’m still mortified about years later.

Colleague with a bit of a car crash life, basically stalked a client and wangled her way into a few dates with him. He quickly saw the error of his ways and dumped her. She went crazy and started all sorts of awful behaviours- making malicious reports about him to all sorts of agencies. Police involved etc. Then a few weeks later I arrive to work and everyone is huddled round her. She has some news. Of course she is pregnant with his child! hmm

What I meant to say: “congratulations!”

What I actually said: “you stupid cow”

blush I did apologise profusely but the damage was done. I never intended to say that, I just blurted out the first thought in my head.

RainingFrogsAndHats Sun 17-Nov-19 23:44:59

I'm quite like Cheesecake in that I invariably say something tactless or rude although I try hard not to.
Although to DD I often say what she wants to hear rather than what I actually think, eg "that looks lovely, darling" rather than "dear god, don't tell me you're leaving the house in that"

OP, I love, love, LOVE your username.

TheClitterati Sun 17-Nov-19 23:51:58

@Edina I think you said exactly the right thing!

VanyaHargreeves Sun 17-Nov-19 23:58:45

What He said :

"You have to do X by December"

Me : "No I don't because..."

He (doesn't let me finish) "yes you do. I'VE SEEN THE EMAIL" (implying I hadn't, I had)

"No Greg, though, yes the email DID say that, Sarah spoke to him yesterday and that information is incorrect X isn't happening til the New Year"

What I wanted to say :


PixieDustt Mon 18-Nov-19 00:09:10

Love reading some of these.
I'm terrible I can't bite my tongue blush

SleightOfMind Mon 18-Nov-19 00:25:55

Not me but DH, a Londoner, unused to pleasantries from strangers.
Weekend in the country, dog walker passes us and wishes us a Good Morning.
DH, startled, shouts ‘Chomp!’
Dog walker raises an eyebrow and carries on.
I cry with laughter.

VeniceQueen2004 Mon 18-Nov-19 00:36:12

What I said: "I can explain that, IF I am allowed to finish." Gritted teeth

What I wanted to say: "shut the fuck UP and FUCK YOU, you arrogant, ignorant toerag, if you ask me one more question and then talk over me while I am telling you the answer, or indeed interrupt one more woman in this meeting again (and it always is the women isn't it, you pathetic garden variety misogynist) I'm going to yank your nutsack over your face and staple it to the back of your STUPID BALDY HEAD so you won't be able to interrupt anyone else ever again, on account of suffocating to death on your own clearly miniature cock."

toomuchisneverenough Mon 18-Nov-19 00:37:56

Customer 'what size a my first Christmas Babygrow come in?' explained 0-12months
She asked does it not come any bigger?

What I said 'no unfortunately not it's just from newborn to 12 months'

What I wanted to say 'are you actually stupid?! How on earth could it come any bigger?! It states my first Christmas on it anything over 12 months wouldn't be their first Christmas now would it?!'

MummytoCSJH Mon 18-Nov-19 00:44:29

@toomuchisneverenough gringringrin

Lanurk Mon 18-Nov-19 00:48:42

To the mum who’s kid has been removed from my sons class for hurting everyone pretty much constantly after she asked a group chat of us to stop telling the teacher her kid was hurting ours. I said I hope he’s getting the support he needs. I meant tell your brat to stop hitting my son before I have words with him

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