Not listed on title deed of DH's overseas house

[tippingpoint14]

DH bought a house in country A just before we met. He's just finished paying it off. Been married five years when we bought our place in country B where we now live.

I contributed a significant deposit to our house that I had saved over the years before we met. The house is in both names. Yet his house OS is only in his name.

He says we can't change the title deed to include me unless we are physically there. We've visited a couple of times since we married but it never seemed to get done for various reasons. He's been there a couple of times alone since but says I also need to physically be there to make the change, which I won't be able to do for some time.

I'm struggling to understand why we can't add my name from afar, but I'm not familiar with the ins and outs of these things.

Does anyone have any knowledge that could shed some light?

[strawberrieshortcake]

You have not specified which country the OS house is in. Every country will have different laws on how you can change names on a title deed.

[tippingpoint14]

@strawberrieshortcake Poland

[DartmoorChef]

Why do you think your name should be on the deeds. He hadn't even met you when he bought it. Would you happily put his name on a property of yours if thr situation was reversed.

[tippingpoint14]

@DartmoorChef I contributed a significant deposit to our house that I had saved over the years before we met. The house is in both names.

[wineandroses1]

Was your significant deposit bigger than his deposit or did you both contribute equally?

[tippingpoint14]

He did not contribute to the deposit.

[mrsbyers]

You should focus on protecting the equity you paid into your joint home

[tippingpoint14]

How do I do that @mrsbyers? No pre-nup unfortunately.

[wineandroses1]

In that case you are not being unreasonable to expect his property to be in both names too. If he’s deliberately avoiding doing that then he’s a CF.

[tippingpoint14]

Thank you @wineandroses1. I think so too. We obviously have issues in my marriage so I am trying to work out where I stand. If it were me, I would have made sure his name were included.

[Josette77]

So you are on the deed of your joint home, just not on the deed for the home he bought before you met?

[tippingpoint14]

Correct

[Josette77]

Since he bought that house before he met you why should you be on it? Isn't that his asset pre-marriage?

[tippingpoint14]

@Josette77 The money I put into our deposit was mine before we met yet I contributed it so we could afford our house. Is this not the same thing?

[DontLettuceBrexitLettuceRomain]

Why does it matter op? It's all marital assets now?

[Josette77]

But he just finished paying it off, so you contributed nothing to his house. As far as your place goes do you both pay for the mortgage? I would expect in a divorce you'd be entitled to half as well as your original deposit back. I would draw up an agreement to that, and not try to get on the deed for his place.

[wineandroses1]

I agree Op. And if your DH continues to prevaricate perhaps you could suggest drawing up an agreement that ringfences your deposit in addition to half of the remaining equity in your jointly owned house. I’d speak to a solicitor.

[tippingpoint14]

True, but if we separate his OS assets will make things tricky. I imagine we will only split our assets here, which will mean I’ll be left with not much at all.

[Evilspiritgin]

I wouldn’t expect my name to be on deeds of a house bought before I met or married someone, if it was a female writing her husband was expecting to be put on the deeds of a property she had before they met, she would be told to keep it in her name only.

[tippingpoint14]

He used some of “our” money to pay his house off and to renovate it so I have contributed. We have both been paying the mortgage for our joint home, each paying half the weekly payments despite my being on maternity leave and having no income.

I have suggested we draw up an agreement but he always comes back to the fact his OS assets are mine as well. Yet never gets around to adding my name to them.

[tippingpoint14]

@Evilspiritgin And what of the money I put into our joint house?

[FizzyGreenWater]

He's just finished paying it off as a married person with joint expenditure. Indirectly, OP has also finished 'paying it off' - as the funds, whether coming from her account, his, or a joint one, are assets of the marriage.

Id have a little more understanding if he'd paid it off as a single person, but he very much has not. Op would totally have a claim on it anyway as this is the case.

You could give him the choice of drawing up a post-nup ring-fencing your deposit contribution if he wants to keep it in his name,m or adding you to the deeds and it all goes into one pot.

Make no mistake though, that house has been paid off via the marital finances.

[HUZZAH212]

Have you benefited from an investment return from his property? You say that some joint assets have gone towards paying it off and doing it up. Is the property now rented out and the money from that gone into a seperate account for him alone? Or have you had some financial compensation from it?

[FizzyGreenWater]

Do your homework and find out what it will take. If you do need to visit to add you to the deeds, damn well do it - book the tickets and present them to him with a smile.

If you think he's trying to weasel out of adding you deliberately, this will tell you.

Oh and you could try explaining to him that the law will see it as an asset of the marriage anyway, so all his avoidance could just look as if he's trying to do you out of funds, which in the hands of the right solicitor could be bad news for him.

[FizzyGreenWater]

each paying half the weekly payments despite my being on maternity leave and having no income.

OP if he is financially abusive then start taking legal advice now.