When I married I changed from my father’s surname to my husbands.
When I divorced I changed my surname by deed poll to be my maternal grandfather’s surname. I then with ExHs permission added my new surname onto my DCs name, day-to-day they are “known as” ExHs surname but on all documents is ExHs Surname-GFs Surname. This has made it so much easier when travelling abroad as they have one name the same as me.
I didn’t change it to insult my dad like he claims, I did it because my dad’s surname is extremely common (think Smith or similar) and paired with my uncommon first name to me it just didn’t sound right, my granddads surname is much less common and fits more with my first name. My DC is so happy to have one name the same as me.
My dad refuses to use it. He was the same when I was married. He kept saying I will always be “Miss (his surname)”. When I was married he’d always say I should have stayed as my surname. He claims I changed to my GFs surname to insult him as my mum changed back to her maiden name (GFs Surname) when she divorced my dad, and he says it shows me taking sides in the divorce. He claims my mum is turning me against him. He sends any cards addressed to me as “Miss (Firstname)(His Surname)” if I tell him that’s not my name he says it is as that’s what’s on my birth certificate, and he knows it’s on my birth certificate as he registered my birth alone.
He also refers to DC by his surname even though they’ve never had it. He apparently used it to one of the teachers at an event there last half term and then wondered why the teacher didn’t know who he was talking about.
For added context: He chose my first name (he used to wax lyrical about it when I was a teenager) and I have kept that, he also chose my middle name which I have also kept. So I still have the name he chose for me, I just have a different surname.
I have tried calling him by a different name but he just shrugs and says I can call him whatever I want as it’s only a name – hypocritical much.
AIBU to ask for ways I can get him back?
AIBU?
My father won’t respect my name
ButItsmyName · 16/11/2019 20:11
I changed my surname after divorce to my Great Grandmothers maiden name, my Dad thinks it’s cool AF 
Ignore yours. Dickhead.
Are you 12? 
You don't need ways to get him back. You're allowed to change your name. He's allowed to be upset at your choice. I can't imagine the use of your surname comes up that often anyway.
It also doesn't matter if he chose your other names. His point is that you were given his surname at birth and you then changed to have the same surname as your DM. Most people would do that to show they were taking their DM's side. I don't know anyone in RL who has changed their surname as an adult because they want one that matches their first name better. I do know people who have deliberately changed their name to distance themselves from their father.
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Well he is obviously unreasonable but your reasons for changing your name seem very 13 year old to me. You can't have a basic surname with a fancy first name? 
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