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To ask school staff whether they can share this info re a teacher?

(152 Posts)

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thenasdo Thu 14-Nov-19 18:38:54

Am hoping there's some posters on here who work in schools and could shed some light on what may be going on.

DD is in Year 10, she has had the same form teacher since she started Year 7. She has always liked said teacher, and teacher makes special effort to get to know each student and support them if they have anything going on. The past few months DD has had a few issues with a group, ostracizing and bullying her.

Said teacher has been a great support to DD, while pastoral care in the school have brushed her off. Pastoral care seems to think that by Year 10 DD should be coping herself and they are still caught up helping the new Year 7's adjust. DD has only been able to cope going into school becuase this teacher offers her a safe space to go to at lunchtimes and talks to her etc.

However since Monday last week the teacher hasn't been in. The form has had a string of subsitutes. Other staff are being shifty about the teacher's absense and there seems to be some deliberate secrecy. She still has her name up on the school's website so it doesn't look as though she's been sacked. I am quite concerned though as this teachher has been DD's only source of support within the school.

If I were to contact the school and ask why she hasn't been in, would I be likely to get an answer?

Corneliawildthing Thu 14-Nov-19 20:39:16

No the school will not tell you that information as it's none of your business.

We are a small school where a member of staff has been off suddenly for nearly a month. None of us know why and would not even think to ask.

Wildorchidz Thu 14-Nov-19 20:40:26

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PennyNotSoWise Thu 14-Nov-19 20:40:31

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lazylinguist Thu 14-Nov-19 20:43:44

YABU to ask the school for this information, and also how would it help? The teacher will be off for as long as she will be off. You knowing the reason will not bring her back any sooner.

YANBU of course to be concerned about support for your daughter. You need to contact pastoral to seek alternative support for her.

SpiderCharlotte Thu 14-Nov-19 20:47:01

I've been off school since April. I absolutely would not expect my school to tell parents that I was off with cancer.

You're being completely ridiculous to think they should tell you personal information about a member of staff.

RatherBeFlying Thu 14-Nov-19 20:48:22

It's lovely that this teacher has been so supportive to this point but really, you will achieve nothing in any sense pursuing this route. The issue is the poor behaviour shown by other students and lack of support by the school. Is it bullying? If so, schools have policies in place and work through this first before taking things possibly further.

TheReluctantCountess Thu 14-Nov-19 20:59:06

When teachers are off sick, the guilt can be massive, as you feel you are letting your colleagues and your students down. If this teacher is off with anything like stress, knowing that a pupil who relies on her is struggling will not do the teacher any good at all.

SmileEachDay Thu 14-Nov-19 20:59:47

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user1473878824 Thu 14-Nov-19 21:00:17

Honestly OP, knowing why she’s off isn’t going to magically make her appear. It’s sad that this woman has supported your DD so much and your first thing is that it must be sinister.

I’m so sorry your daughter is being bullied but rather than hounding the teacher back to school somehow you need to make the school put more effort into her pastoral care if she isn’t getting it. It isn’t fair on DD or one teacher for it just to be her.

Candle1000 Thu 14-Nov-19 21:01:57

Where’s the Op gone?

Frankieferocious Thu 14-Nov-19 21:03:20

I agree with other PPs, her reason for being absent is private and they are not allowed to disclose this information. Staff absence is quite common in high schools, if she ends up being off for an extended period if time then you would be fine to ask if she is returning or has left for good, but I think it is too soon to say now.
I understand though, it's hard if she was the only one giving your daughter support, maybe ask the school again about other options.

whyayepetal Thu 14-Nov-19 21:03:22

flowers OP. Sometimes a little reassurance for pupils goes a long way. Sometimes seeking help from senior management will be successful. Sometimes (from bitter experience) all the patience in the world from parents and students does not change the fact that occasionally “nice is different than good.” sad.

LolaSmiles Thu 14-Nov-19 21:03:34

Wildorchidz
Isn't that person obsessed with popular students who everyone loves? School trips, special outings, sitting around discussing love lives?

Nanalisa60 Thu 14-Nov-19 21:03:50

It’s change days when I was fifteen my best friends cousin went away for the weekend (Saturday morning came back late Sunday night) and left my best mate and me in charge of two little kids about 4 and 5. Plenty of food was left and spending money for extras.

We had a great time was my first really experience of looking after children. No one plinking an eye in those days. My mum just said just ring if anything goes wrong. I did a far amount of baby sitting after that until I started fall time work at 16.

Maybe we were just more grown up in the 1970’s as we were not rapped in cotton wall and had so much more freedom then children do now. So we seemed like young adults at 15 and were treated as young adults who could be left with children.

There again a few of my school mates were mums by the time they were sixteen!! As I say changed days!!

PennyNotSoWise Thu 14-Nov-19 21:04:47

Where’s the Op gone?

Probably got everything he needs from the thread now, whatever it is he gets from it. Makes me feel sick to imagine...

scarecrowfeet Thu 14-Nov-19 21:05:57

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Nanalisa60 Thu 14-Nov-19 21:08:00

Please ignore my above post I’m going totally mad have posted on wrong thread!!

I’m turning into a mad old woman

SquareAsABlock Thu 14-Nov-19 21:08:03

@Nanalisa60, are you ok dear? That was a bit of an off-tangent ramble.

SquareAsABlock Thu 14-Nov-19 21:08:32

@Nanalisa60 sorry, cross post!

littlealexhorne Thu 14-Nov-19 21:18:25

Of course OP simply demanding to know why this teacher is off would be unreasonable BUT I think she maybe means she'd like to know whether the teacher if likely to be off long term or perhaps be back by next week, as were the absence to be longer term OP would need to fight for alternative support for her daughter (though perhaps this needs to be done anyway, it sounds like this could be a lot for just one staff member to deal with)

That said, the poor woman hasn't actually even been off a full week yet, so I'd say its a bit premature to be worrying this is likely to be a long term absence anyway.

Andsoitisjust99 Thu 14-Nov-19 21:20:46

I would ask, they most likely will say no however I asked recently and was told the reason which was then made public (teacher wanted parents to know). Regardless, I do think it’s reasonable to ask that they assign someone else to support your daughter.

ClaraMumsnet (MNHQ) Thu 14-Nov-19 21:21:11

Hi all, can we please remind you that trollhunting is against our Talk Guidelines. We can never vouch for anyone but we've had a look behind the scenes and we can't see anything that links the OP to previously banned posters.

Judystilldreamsofhorses Thu 14-Nov-19 21:26:45

Bloody hell. I teach in FE and was “unexpectedly absent” for almost a week in September. My colleague was “unexpectedly absent” for a fortnight around the same time. I had terrible tonsillitis, my colleague’s father had just died. Nothing shifty at all.

Teachers get sick, with mundane things like bad backs, migraines, and flu, as well as stress, they have family bereavements, just like people in other jobs. Generally we don’t go off unless we absolutely can’t help it, because we feel guilty about inconveniencing students and colleagues.

By all means, ask for support for your daughter, but why the teacher is off is irrelevant. As for checking the school’s website to check she’s not been removed - words fail me.

draughtycatflap Thu 14-Nov-19 21:27:22

There is nothing that can be done this time but you could put a tracking device on her car during lessons in case she dares to go AWOL in future.

GettingABitDesperateNow Thu 14-Nov-19 21:32:54

Why do you want to know OP? What difference does it make to you? If she is off because if stress, or a chest infection, or flu, or a death in the family....the reality is your daughter will have to find another way to cope and that's what you have to concentrate on and how the school can support her in this

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