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To contact dog breeder and ask him not to sell puppy to my sister?

(278 Posts)
BJsHair Wed 13-Nov-19 13:39:44

My sister (25) is autistic but very, very immature for her age (she still plays with teddy bears and watches cartoons). She lives alone and is not coping well. Does not work, barely leaves the house.

She gets obsessions. An example of her obsessions was the time she got obsessed with Ford Ka cars. So much so that she actively tried to buy one despite the fact that she doesn’t (and never will) drive. She just wanted it to sit in and decorate. She had no idea about insurance or road tax ... it was basically just to be a giant toy.

Anyway, I’m a dog breed enthusiast and my sister has now become obsessed with the same breed. I put years of research into the breed before I bought my first dog, organised dog training and socialisation classes before I got her and spent hours and hours on training. I’d had dogs before but not this breed. The breed is NOT a first time dog owner breed. In the wrong hands they can be dangerous. My sister is terrified of my dogs, has never owned a dog before yet is adamant that she is buying a puppy from this litter ... she’s going to pay her deposit on Friday. I’ve tried talking her out of it and my mum says I’m being selfish saying “why is it ok for you to have one but not her?”. They just don’t understand. AIBU to go directly to breeder and tell him not to sell her one?

TheHodgeoftheHedge Wed 13-Nov-19 13:41:33

Surely if the breeder is a decent one, they won’t agree to sell to your sister because It will be obvious that they are not a good fit for the dog?

Needbettername Wed 13-Nov-19 13:42:32

What is the breed?

Hoppinggreen Wed 13-Nov-19 13:43:32

I would hope that when she turns up and is quite obviously terrified the breeder Won’t sell her a puppy. If they still do then they don’t care about their pups and you telling them not to do it won’t make any difference

FunOnTheBeach20 Wed 13-Nov-19 13:43:45

Sounds like a terrible decision for her to get a dog. I think contacting the breeder would be sensible.

Skiaddicted Wed 13-Nov-19 13:44:00

Nothing to lose by trying, if youre honest with a reputable breeder they will be grateful im sure

Wolfiefan Wed 13-Nov-19 13:45:11

If it was a really good breeder they would have already worked out if it wasn’t a good match.
If it’s a bad breeder then they won’t care. They just want her money.
Is it a breed prone to health issues? Can she afford to insure it?

LuckyLola Wed 13-Nov-19 13:46:56

I don't think YABU at all. Either you will end up with the pup or it will go into an already overly stretched rescue shelter to be rehomed. Any good breeder wouldn't want the pups going to an suitable home.

TokyoSushi Wed 13-Nov-19 13:47:44

When I read your title I thought 'don't be ridiculous, you can't do that!' But under the circumstances, I think that it would be wise.

MrsEricBana Wed 13-Nov-19 13:48:19

It is going behind her back but you would be going her and the dog a kindness to do this.

MrsEricBana Wed 13-Nov-19 13:48:40


BJsHair Wed 13-Nov-19 13:48:53

She won’t insure it, she won’t even know how to insure it.

She’s met the puppies already so must have met the breeder.

Winterdaysarehere Wed 13-Nov-19 13:50:12

Suggest the breeder asks to do a home check.
Likely she would fail this.
Your dm is atrocious for supporting her.

BJsHair Wed 13-Nov-19 13:50:34

See another thing is this months obsession won’t be next months obsession. She hasn’t got a clue what she’s doing. I asked her how she’s going to train it and she said “I’ll make him sit for his food” as if that is all it needs (and she couldn’t even tell me how she’d do that)

Stayawayfromitsmouth Wed 13-Nov-19 13:52:28

Why is your mum supporting her with this?

messolini9 Wed 13-Nov-19 13:52:39

my mum says I’m being selfish saying “why is it ok for you to have one but not her?

Wow, your mum is in denial & must be a huge part of the problem.

Of COURSE you must contact the breeder.
With any luck, she will play along with you for the good of her pups, let your sister visit, & then let her know exactly why she cannot have one of the pups.

However, unless she then lets go of the obsession, you might find she tries elsewhere & gets hold of a dog before you get wind of it ..?

Wolfiefan Wed 13-Nov-19 13:53:57

Who’s giving her the money to buy this dog?

BJsHair Wed 13-Nov-19 13:55:09

She got thousands of pounds off her grandparents when they died ( not my grandparents thank Christ)

Pinkyponker Wed 13-Nov-19 13:56:38

Does she live alone or with your mum?

marshmellowed Wed 13-Nov-19 13:59:19

Could you help her ? I know it seems a bad idea but with support could a dog be something positive for her ?

BJsHair Wed 13-Nov-19 14:01:14

She lives alone.

If it was a small, “easy” dog then yes I could help her but not with this breed. They get big and they need to know who is in charge from day one.

marshmellowed Wed 13-Nov-19 14:01:54

Maybe that could be a compromise? She maybe lonely and a dog could be a wonderful companion but I agree it needs to be the right breed

krustykittens Wed 13-Nov-19 14:02:03

Yes, I would tell the breeder. If they are bad ones that only care about money then there is not a lot you can do but if she has fooled a good one, they will appreciate the tip off and your sister doesn't mess up a puppy. It's a shit situation so I hope you can distract her until she moves onto something inanimate.

BJsHair Wed 13-Nov-19 14:03:26

The only reason she’s become obsessed with them is because 1) they appeared on an advert recently and 2) she saw a funny video on Facebook featuring one. That’s all it takes with her.

PotteringAlong Wed 13-Nov-19 14:03:54

I’d tell the breeder too.

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