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Children coming home from their Dad’s and making snacks all evening

(100 Posts)
Sharpandshineyteeth Tue 12-Nov-19 19:45:24

The 4DC aged 10-16yrs go to exh regularly, it’s a 70/30 split.

Mostly they stay overnight but on a Tuesday they come home after dinner at his. They always ALWAYS then go through the cupboards and make snacks. The 10yr old is making pasta as we speak. It’s driving me a bit mad.

AIBU to say something to him or at least tell the kids to fill up at Dad’s as I don’t budget to feed them on a Tues. Orrrrrr keep quiet and accept that’s part of having hungry, growing children.

Lulualla Tue 12-Nov-19 19:48:41

Have you asked them why? Have you asked what they had to eat at dad's house? That's surely the first step. If he's not feeding them enough for dinner then tell him he needs too! The 16 year old is really old enough to have said it for themselves.

Brideof2020 Tue 12-Nov-19 19:51:09

As PP said have you asked them why they do this ? What have they eaten at dad's? Do they eat a lot earlier with their dad? Do they do it when they are with you ?

Sharpandshineyteeth Tue 12-Nov-19 19:52:46

Tonight they had dinner from the Chippy.

I think it might be because they eat earlier on.

DaanSaaf Tue 12-Nov-19 19:53:30

Teenagers eat a lot op, pasta is cheap as chips though so I wouldn't begrudge my own children eating if they're hungry. What way is the 70/30 split?

Sharpandshineyteeth Tue 12-Nov-19 19:55:06

5 nights a fortnight at his.

Sharpandshineyteeth Tue 12-Nov-19 19:55:27

The rest with me

SunshineCake Tue 12-Nov-19 19:59:16

Are things so tight you can't manage one more evening of meals ?sad.

Teenagers are growing. They need a lot of calories. Chip shop food will give a spike so no wonder they need food again later.

Singlenotsingle Tue 12-Nov-19 19:59:27

You don't honestly budget so tightly that the DC aren't supposed to eat when they get back from their dad's? Can't you make a big meal, (pasta bake, shepherd pie?) and they can tuck in when they get home? If they're not hungry, voila, tomorrow's dinner is ready!

Mummyshark2018 Tue 12-Nov-19 20:01:10

They're hungry teenagers (mostly). My 7 year old is ravenous after coming from school and has dinner about 4.30pm and then is hungry again at 7pm. I thinks it normal if they eat earlier.

Humpdayruminations Tue 12-Nov-19 20:01:33

I'd leave that one....and maybe keep a bit extra in the house.

EskewedBeef Tue 12-Nov-19 20:03:16

They've had their dinner, so cooking up a whole extra meal is surely just greed...? Their dad's given them fish and chips, so their need for more food isn't his fault.

Waveysnail Tue 12-Nov-19 20:03:51

Prep a big bowl of pasta or sandwiches - no helping themslves from cupboard

HaudYerWheeshtYaWeeBellend Tue 12-Nov-19 20:08:35

Personally if they are hungry I’d allow them to eat, I’d just budget for the extra they are eating.

ColaFreezePop Tue 12-Nov-19 20:11:28

Their whole extra food is not just greed FFS. I'm sick of posters saying this.

Unless your children are obese - and I know some children are - they will manage to match their calorie intake to theor expenditure. So until they stop growing expect them to eat lots more than an adult who isn't growing. They will stop eating so much at anytime between 18 and 22.

As PPs said make them another meal preferably one that can keep until the next day.

OneDay10 Tue 12-Nov-19 20:12:56

If they are not doing this every single night with you then it seems that they arent eating enough at your ex. you need to address this with him and not your kids and make them feel bad about it.

kateandme Tue 12-Nov-19 20:26:28

id say that is normal for kids that age actually.my brother regualy did this after coming in from somewhere.i dont think he ever stopped actually.and even now when he comes to visit mum and dad will raid the cupbaord on coming in.mum loves it though.
i suppose the only problem id have is if you really cant afford it or if its because they arent eating at dads.
so ask what they have there.is there dad giving them enough?

kateandme Tue 12-Nov-19 20:26:35

id say that is normal for kids that age actually.my brother regualy did this after coming in from somewhere.i dont think he ever stopped actually.and even now when he comes to visit mum and dad will raid the cupbaord on coming in.mum loves it though.
i suppose the only problem id have is if you really cant afford it or if its because they arent eating at dads.
so ask what they have there.is there dad giving them enough?

kateandme Tue 12-Nov-19 20:27:15

IT IS NOT GREED.

maddiemookins16mum Tue 12-Nov-19 20:29:45

They do it because they can. Would they eat a hot bowl of cheap porridge oats?? If not then it’s just a habit.

Sharpandshineyteeth Tue 12-Nov-19 20:32:14

I think they are doing it because they can as well.

I feel mean saying no to food though.

They don’t make full on snacks after dinner here. The older ones might have a bowl of cereal towards bedtime.

RubbingHimSourly Tue 12-Nov-19 20:33:29

Chipshop food never fills me up, I'm always starving after.

I'd make them a cheap, basic pasta sauce. Literally a tin of tomatoes, onion, puree, water and spices. Add a bag of pasta in, top with cheese if you're feeling generous.

It costs about £1 to make and should keep the hoards happy for an hour.

DiabloDi Tue 12-Nov-19 20:38:37

I feel mean saying no to food though.

Because it IS mean?!

Transformer123 Tue 12-Nov-19 20:39:37

Your post sounds like you are begrudge this because it is at your expense rather than his. Your comment, "I don't budget to feed them on a Tuesday".

It's so sad and childish when parents split up then engage in petty competitiveness about providing little things for their children. Like those parents who moan about how they bought three t-shirts for their child and get annoyed when one is left at the partner's house, and they want that t-shirt back. Are you so hard up you cant afford these snacks? REALLY? Or is this more about your anger towards him.

Ask them why it's happening, in case something is going on. But it sounds like you are being petty.

TatianaLarina Tue 12-Nov-19 20:40:48

Depends what they’re eating at the chip shop. If they’re having fish and chips then they shouldn’t be hungry.

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