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Lieing to my mum so she will baby sit ?

(50 Posts)
Sweetpeach3 Mon 11-Nov-19 18:06:59

Feel awful but I've begged my mum to watch the kids for 3 hours tomorrow an take them to school for me
She thinks I'm goin to finish my Christmas shop an baby shop as I'm due in 5 weeks and I'm all done (secretly) I just want to go back to bed and sleep until I pick the kids up at 6???
AIBU? No way on this earth would she have them for any other reason because if I say it's hospital appointmenfs she just invites herself along then kids are in toe lol

I'm feeling so low and shitty right now. Not sure if any of you have seen my other posts but DC dad is the biggest twat walking....
he's been out every day since Thursday and hasn't bothered to help me with the DC really and as far as I'm aware he's out again tonight but he said that's okay because he seen them for half hour yesterday....
he offered to come round one morning why I had an hour an he watched the kids. Fucking pointless as all I heard every 5 mins was "** were is that, what do they want, what are they saying"""
my Ds is ill and his meds make him hard to handle and now my hips are going funny (having physio) it doesn't help one bit. I can't breath when I carry him up to bed of a night time lol
Genuinely at my whits end I can't take much more shit and 0 help when I feel so low and knowing everyone else who should be willing to help isn't and their having the life of fucking Riley !!!

Ex says he doesn't mind having the kids but theirs always a catch I HAVE TO GO WITH THEM TO HELP!!!! Not a fucking chance easier go out on my own with the kids without him because he's worse.

Iv made it clear I want to have the baby on my own as I don't trust him to be their as he's been secretly all over social media when we was together posting pictures of the kids everywhere (I hate hate hate this) and I know he will with the new baby and he's not even been to an appointment or got him so much as a fuckin nappy and I ain't having him get to be a false brilliant dad to everyone ! An then my mums tryin take over how she's guna cut the cord etc I don't want her to so Iv just asked her to not come with me. My best friend is the only one I want their because she will put me straight an listen to what I actually want. I'm shutting wveryone out I know

Goin midwife Friday because I'm beyond depressed never felt like this I should be happy and exited it's Christmas and my new pudding is en route so I know it isn't normal just feel bad lieing to my mum

Sorry for the essay I'm just so pissed off

OlderthenYoungerNow Mon 11-Nov-19 18:09:23

Yanbu

mbosnz Mon 11-Nov-19 18:11:58

I only wish you were near me, so that I could come babysit for you so you could rest and not have to lie. Sleep well.

Gazelda Mon 11-Nov-19 18:15:11

Do it OP. Do whatever you need to do to get some rest.
Like pp, I wish I could offer to sit for you.

Thescrewinthetuna Mon 11-Nov-19 18:17:22

Aw OP, if you were my friend/sister/daughter I would babysit for you in a heartbeat to give you a break. YANBU at all

MamaWeasel Mon 11-Nov-19 18:17:31

Yanbu

AdalindMeisner Mon 11-Nov-19 18:19:10

YANBU, get some rest.

Also, if you are concerned your mother is going to gatecrash labour, then inform the midwives that no one is to be admitted to the delivery suite. In theory no one should be allowed in unless you give permission but I know from personal experience that sometimes they screw up and let people in who you don't want there without asking.

Take care and get some rest.

Sweetpeach3 Mon 11-Nov-19 18:21:11

Thank you all so much!
And it's on my notes not to let mum or ex in and my best friend knows this. I'm just glad she's build like a bloke an knows what I want and willl tell them hahaha - we joke about it xx

ohtheholidays Mon 11-Nov-19 18:26:28

YANBU,you need and deserve the help and if that's the only way you can get it so be it,tell the fib and get some well needed and well deserved sleep and the same as a PP if I could help you I would.

No wonder your bloody depressed bless you,I hope things start getting easier my love flowers

I was a single mum to 4DC(I split up with my dickhead ex before I knew I was pregnant with my 4th)I was still breastfeeding my 3rd and he's autistic and I ended up with spd in my 4th pregnancy so I really do understand,but I hope it's some consolation to know that things can improve,my DC are mainly amazing now they're a bit older and none of us have any contact with my ex and I think my relationship is stronger and happier with my DC because of not having his bullshit to put up with and I hope you find the same.smile

Sweetpeach3 Mon 11-Nov-19 18:31:31

@ohtheholidays thank you for the advice and knowing you've come out the other side xx

Armbow45 Mon 11-Nov-19 18:35:25

Consider it an early Christmas gift to yourself- some peace and quiet to rest before your new arrival. That way, you're not technically lying 😉

supersop60 Mon 11-Nov-19 18:39:18

YANBU. Do it.

MrsFoxPlus4Again Mon 11-Nov-19 18:44:50

Do it. Do you have bits in the house you can pretend to have bought if she try’s to be nosey?

EleanorShellstrop100 Mon 11-Nov-19 18:46:59

Sounds like a great idea to me! Enjoy! flowers

TheMustressMhor Mon 11-Nov-19 18:49:53

It sounds like a brilliant idea. Don't feel guilty - you need a rest and this is a good way to get one.

I'm so sorry you're having such a tough time at the moment.

flowers

cake

Grandmi Mon 11-Nov-19 18:50:01

Enjoy your lie in !

june2007 Mon 11-Nov-19 18:51:15

Can you explain to your mum that you do appreciate her help, but you want to go to appointments on your own as you feel it will be less stressful? I think if she finds you lied to her then she may think are you lying about other things and surely that will make the situation worse.

Chocolateandamaretto Mon 11-Nov-19 18:56:41

1. I would definitely do it! Sometimes you just need to rest and if telling a white lie to get it is necessary then I don’t think that’s a terrible thing.
2. It sounds like you have a really great best mate who will be there for you when you give birth - could you talk to her about needing help to get a rest?i know we haven’t heard much about that relationship just I have found sometimes friends your own age are better at understanding and helping out when you need emotional support.
Hope things get easier for you soon!

Groovinpeanut Mon 11-Nov-19 19:03:40

YANBU... As others have said I would willingly babysit and help you out.
You enjoy your lie-in and look after yourself. You deserve a break x

Straycatstrut Mon 11-Nov-19 19:10:01

You must be so stressed and exhausted! Have a huge rest you deserve it. I did pregnancy with a 3 year old and selfish ex. Every evening out with his work mates. Fri & Sat he wouldn't get in until 2/3 in the morning, sometimes come in vomiting everywhere, next day he'd sleep it off. Moaned for sex all the time. Groped me whenever he felt like it. It was hell. I feel like I have a new chance at life and career now I don't have to deal with him. I just have me and the kids to concentrate on and we're all so much happier.

Get your rest and tell people to back off when you need them to xx

MummytoCSJH Mon 11-Nov-19 19:14:37

You deserve a rest. YANBU for 'lying' - you aren't harming anyone with this lie, only harming your own health by draining yourself if you carry on without a rest! Enjoy OP thanks

IWorkAtTheCheescakeFactory Mon 11-Nov-19 19:19:01

YANBU! At all! I would do it for you if I was near you. You really need a break.

Selfsettlingat3 Mon 11-Nov-19 19:19:20

You might find this article interesting OP

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.bbc.com/news/amp/stories-50289609

Sweetpeach3 Mon 11-Nov-19 22:50:54

@MrsFoxPlus4Again yea I have cubords full of toys an clothes for the kids so il just show her if she comes an let's herself in once they've gone to school lmao! Just say I was done earlier then expected!
@Chocolateandamaretto my friend always offers but she has 7 kids as it is!! Don't know how she does it their all up an wahsed am dressed by 8/8.30 she's just one of them who can have 100 kids an be fine with it! She's been a huge support but her youngest 2 have what my oldest has. (Their all same age) and she gets my frustration with the medication an hospitals not helping etc so nice for that support but I don't like giving her my 2 when she's got all hers in school cos she needs a break as much as she try's rob them both xx

OlaEliza Mon 11-Nov-19 23:10:24

Aww, do why you need to do hun x

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