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Oh god, I'm so embarrassed.

(236 Posts)
Bellesboo2 Thu 07-Nov-19 10:11:19

Okay, help me, I'm such a tit.
Basically, I assumed there was some back and forth subtle flirting between me and a colleague (same office but not part of the same dept)
He would smile at me, would catch him looking at me while I was working, whenever I walked by him he would stare at me, and follow me with his eyes until I sat back down. We've been trying to strike up chat here and there in passing, but I get so flustered I end up making excuses and going back to my desk.

Anyway, after months of this, and I mean months! I decided to add him in Facebook, I'd been toying with the idea for a while but put it off for some reason or another. However, it took about 2 week for him to accept, no big deal I thought, must not use his account regularly... the day after, I decided to send him a PM, basically just saying hi etc.. hes read it and not replied. I'm so mortified, I feel I've misjudged everything and I'm dreading work tomorrow now.

Please can someone find me a black hole I can jump into.

formerbabe Thu 07-Nov-19 10:14:20

Our need to send every person on your office a fb friend request now! Then send them all the same message. Then loudly talk about this and ask everyone if they received it.

They will all think you're mad but this is preferable

MayFayner Thu 07-Nov-19 10:14:33

I’m going to need the exact wording of the PM!

Bluntness100 Thu 07-Nov-19 10:14:39

Hmmm. Ok what exactly did you say? What's the etc in the hi etc? From what you describe so far you can put this down to just being friendly. And maybe he's not a big face book user.

Although I would say the reading and not responding would indicate you've misread this and he's not interested. I'm sorry.

churchandstate Thu 07-Nov-19 10:15:12

Well, the worst case scenario is that you thought he was attracted to you because he’s a flirt and he isn’t.


You really haven’t done anything to be embarrassed about.

DrVonPatak Thu 07-Nov-19 10:16:31

A) If you can't have a decent conversation, it's a write off, unless you're aiming for the one night stand.
B) He's stringing you along, it's not on.
C) You haven't done anything yet that would make me think you embarrassed yourself.

Peg it to experience and move on, you won't get any olives off that tree.

LingyLangy Thu 07-Nov-19 10:17:09

Agree with @formerbabe

It’ll look less suspicious if you’ve added more people

AtrociousCircumstance Thu 07-Nov-19 10:17:44

You’ve done nothing wrong - adding a colleague on fb and messaging hi doesn’t equal embarrassment! It’s perfectly normal. He’s embarrassed himself by not responding - he’s reading too much into it or he just has no manners. Or he’s panicking about composing the perfect reply!

Whatever it is, your actions are absolutely fine so glide into work without a moment of worry.

churchandstate Thu 07-Nov-19 10:17:55

Suspicious? Well, I think the secret’s probably out, tbh. And she hasn’t robbed a bank - nothing to be suspicious about.

Bluntness100 Thu 07-Nov-19 10:18:13

How's he stringing her along? confused

Bellesboo2 Thu 07-Nov-19 10:18:27

I bloody waved first. Who does that? I then said, Hello (insert name) how are you? Then smily faced emoji. Obviously not bad, but I look flipping desperate.

I honestly thought he was into me, how have I got this all wrong.

churchandstate Thu 07-Nov-19 10:19:12

Oh that’s nothing, OP. It’s not like you sent him tit pics.

Bluntness100 Thu 07-Nov-19 10:19:18

Also agree with former babe. You need to friend your other colleagues now.

Boopsy Thu 07-Nov-19 10:19:40

What did you say? If just a general friendly message I wouldn’t worry and just be brisk and friendly with him at work.Maybe he’s shy and not sure how to reply or maybe he was busy and intended to reply later (I do this a lot)

Boopsy Thu 07-Nov-19 10:20:50

Just read your update, honestly wouldn’t be embarrassed about that it’s not even really flirty.

Bellesboo2 Thu 07-Nov-19 10:22:19

I have to pass his desk to get to mine tomorrow.. I may pretend to be reading a newspaper and avoid eye contact.

Also, who sends the bloody wave emoji? Yep, me blush

SuchAToDo Thu 07-Nov-19 10:22:40

Op play it cool, not everyone replies to messages the instant they read them on Facebook...I myself sometimes read and reply late in the day, the next day or whenever I get round to it....don't message back or ask about will come across as too full on and needy...just play it cool, if he's not interested you can pass it off as you were adding him as a friend...if he is interested you don't want to act too full on about him not replying and scare him off

Bellesboo2 Thu 07-Nov-19 10:23:48

I thought waiting over 24 hours before PMing would show how teasing I am.

God sake, I've got his all wrong.

Bellesboo2 Thu 07-Nov-19 10:24:12

So, do I not remove the friend request and block then grin

Bluntness100 Thu 07-Nov-19 10:25:26

Don't ignore him tomorrow, you need to act like you've not bothered or noticed he's not responded. So just say hi, smile brightly and keep moving. Ignoring him is going to make it worse.

Tortoiser Thu 07-Nov-19 10:25:42

I really wouldn’t worry. It’s not as if you 👋🏻, said ‘ Hi, fancy a shag in the stationery cupboard at 2pm tomorrow?’
Just saunter casually past his desk tomorrow and smile as normal. Play it cool.

NoSauce Thu 07-Nov-19 10:27:42

Well it’s a bit weird on his part if he’s been staring at you all this time and then doesn’t reply on FB. Put him out of your mind, he’s either playing mind games or he’s plain odd.

IfWishesWereFishes Thu 07-Nov-19 10:28:26

The wave emoji grin

Hahaha88 Thu 07-Nov-19 10:29:00

Calm down you only sent him a casual hello message. You're seriously making a mountain out of a mole hill. Just be normal tomorrow

ActualHornist Thu 07-Nov-19 10:30:51

Seriously overthinking.

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