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to be completely fed up with the summer holidays, dc for being badly behaved and dh for not taking any time off......

(19 Posts)
fedupbeyondbelief Thu 16-Aug-07 09:01:59

Name change in case DH is reading Mumsnet atm.
Says it all really, I've reached the limit of my patience with the holidays. I'm at SAHM with two ds's who seem to take great pleasure at beating the sh*t out of each other and destroying the house. I've done trips out and tried to keep them "entertained". I've tried to plan various trips out, trying to be mindful of cost and content, so they don't get too bored or tired. Each time I get so stressed out as one of them will go missing, despite my best efforts telling them to stay with me. I explain how we are going to be and it goes in one ear and out the other. Either that or when we go somewhere, they want to be somewhere else. I am being constantly badgered for toys - "I want......" all the time. I've got the pleasure now of sorting out all the school bits and pieces (shoes etc) before they go back to school.DH has taken two days off during the holidays - to drive to a holiday destination for a weekend where he was persuing his hobby (and I had the kids to amuse the whole time). He's persuing the same hobby on the bank holiday weekend (ALL weekend too). I've had enough and just need to vent on here. I ended up in tears at bed time last night when the kids flooded the bathroom. Feel totally drained already and they're already asking "What are we doing today?" I just want to go back to bed (splitting headache).......
From what I can work out, DH has taken a week off with the family at Easter. He was away on business for the whitsun half term. He must have lots of holiday owing to him - dunno when he plans taking it - when the kids are at school I guess!
Don't expect any replies but I just need to scream and not at the kids this time. I just hate being so fed up and angry at everything all the bl**dy time. I should be grateful that I've got two lovely boys who are fit and healthy. I'm just so unhappy.

nutcracker Thu 16-Aug-07 09:07:04

Have you asked him when he plans on taking it ?? I'd be pretty peed pff too tbh, but then I would ask him and also insist that he took time off.

As for the kids, if you have a garden throw them in it and let them amuse themselves. Mind had great fun last week with several buckets of water, some paint brushes and sponges, and it was free too.

I do know what you mean though, I took my 3 out loads last week and the one trip invloved 6 buses, and god did they moan, about anything and evrything, so this week we are mostly staying in.

Gobbledigook Thu 16-Aug-07 09:14:13

I hear where you are coming from - it's hard work and I'm a freelancer so I'm trying to work at the same time too (at the moment I'm working and the boys are actually playing really well with the train track on the landing outside the office...).

It's all very well going out and about but you can't do it every day. Going out is hard work on your own too - I've got 6, 4, almost 3 yr old so it's not easy, it can get quite stressful can't it?

Must admit, I don't have the badgering for toys or anything and dh is willing to take time off which is great.

Tbh, you need to tackle that - it's out of order for him to leave it all up to you. Can't he see you are at the end of your rope? Ask him what he is doing with all his holiday. Take yourself off for a weekend, like he does, and let him spend some quality time with the children. I certainly would not put up with this (I know people in RL that struggle like you do and I don't know how they do it).

As for entertaining the kids - when staying in I agree with Nutty that just chucking them out in the garden is good. Even if it's wet - I just put wellies on mine the other day and they played out for ages. Paint brushes and water is a good one. Get them to wash their bikes or ride-on cars etc. Get them to wash your car!! I've also saved up loads of empty boxes, bottles etc so that one day we can just empty it all out on the kitchen floor and make junk models.

How old are your kids? Do they have playstation or anything? That will usually keep them quiet for a while!

Do you have any friends you could hook up with? Maybe there is someone that could have yours over to play for a morning and you could return the favour? IN my circle of friends we've done qutie a bit of that this holidays and it's worked really well.

fortyplus Thu 16-Aug-07 09:14:53

At the risk of sounding like your mum...

Firstly - a severe headache all the time can be a sign of high blood pressure (hardly surprising by the sound of it!) You should get it checked just in case.

Then... do you know anyone in the same boat? If you can send one child to them while you have one of theirs you'd probably have a happier time.

Why do you feel that you have to 'plan' days out? Can you shove a picnic in the car and go to the woods or the park? Building camps in the woods takes hours!

Most mums get stressed in the summer hols, so - you know what they say... a trouble shared is a trouble halved! If you're out with another mum things won't seem half as bad.

As for dh - have you told him how you feel? Maybe he thinks that because he works full time and you're a sahm it's your 'job' to entertain the children all the time! He needs to understand that he can't think that way.

How old are your children?

Gobbledigook Thu 16-Aug-07 09:16:11

I've also sat all mine round the table with a big tin of crayons and loads of paper and puzzle books/colouring books and they will sit and do that for a while if I'm sat with them - so get a brew and a magazine/book and you chill for a bit while they get on with that.

Can you scour about for some cheap DVDs? Close the curtains and give them a bowl of popcorn - hey presto, a cinema!!

Gobbledigook Thu 16-Aug-07 09:17:20

Agree fortyplus - I've done most of my days out with another mum and the kids' friends and it's much easier. I don't know what I'd do without my friends!!

indiasmum Thu 16-Aug-07 09:18:46

i have been on own all holiday too with 3 kids. dh isnt taking any time off work til next fri (just one day!) and ds1 broke up on 5th july!!!!! wrong, quite wrong in my opinion.

you so have my sympathies. wish i could just walk breezily out in the morning to go to work and come back to a tidy house, kids asleep and my dinner waiting for me.

bloody men and their work and stupid hobbies

HonoriaGlossop Thu 16-Aug-07 09:19:10

Don't vent on here; vent to your DH. Tell HIM. He's the one with the power to help, not us.

It does sound totally unfair that he's not taken some leae - so don't let him get away with it - TELL him! If you don't know when he plans taking it, ask him! And make it clear that you are expecting fully that he will be taking some time this summer. It's part of his responsibility as a parent; working monday to friday does not mean he is let off all other duties in the whole wrold, ever!

Go for it! If you don't, gimme his number and I'll phone him I'm cross that you should be in this position and I feel for you - holidays with kids are exhausting.

indiasmum Thu 16-Aug-07 09:26:46

but maybe his work is highly pressurized and really busy and he cant take time off.

i know that is the reason my dh hasnt taken off. and much as it annoys me greatly i cant have a go at him about it, its not his fault and the harder he works, the better life we will have financially iyswim

fedupbeyondbelief Thu 16-Aug-07 09:31:25

Blimey - thanks for all the replies. Kids are 5 and 3. Been doing the picnic thing a fair bit and playing outside in the local woods. I guess I'm just feeling a bit under par - they feel fine (lots and lots of energy and enthusiasm! ) I do manage a couple of trips to the gym during the week when I have "me" time (which I do enjoy - just could do with more of it!)
I don't think he appreciates how "full on" it is - from the moment they wake up til the time they go to bed. I don't feel like I get the support I should. I will speak to him today and find out what his plans are. I know that work is really busy but that's no excuse really.

Gobbledigook Thu 16-Aug-07 09:34:00

When is work not busy though?! I'm really busy atm too - I'm trying to work in the mornings (with 3 kids around), do stuff with them in the afternoons and then I end up working again on the evening and some of the weekend.

That's life innit?!

fedupbeyondbelief Thu 16-Aug-07 09:38:21

True.....thanks for all your replies again. Have just emailed DH and am off out shortly for some fresh air (just waiting for the postie). Does feel better to get it off my chest tho' instead of bottling it up. Expecting a call from DH shortly......

dreamaway Thu 16-Aug-07 09:57:57

I Think it unfair that he is taking his holiday time to persue his hobby, you need to tell him how you are feeling.

What about weekend's Does he spend time with you then?
it sounds like you need "some me time".

My DH works very hard during the week so i do most of the childcare single handedly.

But come weekend's Saturday is my day, i go out with my mum, shopping, doing my hobbies etc. These few hours keep me sane.And he gets to spend quality time with the kids.

Then sunday it's his turn to do his hobby which he is normally home early afternoon and we spend the rest of the day as a family.

Can not do something like this?

indiasmum Thu 16-Aug-07 10:36:14

oh some 'me time' <<<<wistful emoticon>>>> how i'd love some me time.....

dreamaway Thu 16-Aug-07 10:55:44

should read "can YOU not do something like this?"

fedupbeyondbelief Thu 16-Aug-07 16:55:23

I do get an hour on Sat/Sun to go to the gym although I do schedule this early morning so it causes least impact. My gym time is very important to me and I do get to go during term time, which is easier to plan rather than get two kids into their respective holiday childcare arrangements. Went to soft play area this morning for a couple of hours which the kids seemed to enjoy - bedlam!
Didn't get a call from DH but I texted him and we all met up for lunch which was pleasant. Looks like time off could be an issue due to standby/conference calls, so I'll just make sure that I've got stuff organised / picnics etc for the time we have left on hols. His loss as far as I'm concerned. I've suggested time off at half term instead.

bosslady Thu 16-Aug-07 17:11:49

You probably think this sounds crazy but all myy dd have done is fight and want to kill each other, so i invited a friend round for my eldest and they have been angels all day, i for first time in three weeks havent been screaming my head off!! plus the other mum is going to have dd one day next week if she makes it thurs bliss as my youngest is at nursery!!

clutteredup Thu 16-Aug-07 17:28:35

It is hard work keeping them all occupied, my dc are the same, what are we doing tomorrow. they need some srtucture so if you can sort of think tomorrow we're going to the supermarket or whatever they do at least have an idea of what's happeneing. i agree withe the other posters though, you need them outside in the garden or local park as much as possible (wellies and coats if wet) then you can come home and put on a dvd as they've had their outside exercise and you can justify the 'down time' The days are long if you're doing it alone, are you near a beach or some where - i mean within a 2 hr drive - we've had days out like that and the dc will sometimes even sleep in the car and i get to drive and listen to the radio - quite a break !!!! or story tapes from the library if they don't.

KerryMumbledore Thu 16-Aug-07 17:38:23

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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