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DH and Dinner - AIBU

(682 Posts)
Redlioness123 Wed 23-Oct-19 19:15:22

I'm just really interested to know whether I am BU or not, as my husband thinks I'm being controlling

I have made a lasagne today. It's not something we have often so I spent a bit of time on it making it from scratch etc. I also cut a nice salad to go along with it and I was planning to make some seasoned wedges before serving around 7.15pm (the time we eat most days).

DH arrived home from work around 6.30. Claimed he was starving, I told him what was for dinner and to have a banana or something (Lasagne is already made and is staying warm at the bottom of the oven)

I went out the kitchen to do something and returned after 5 mins to see that he has helped himself to a ginormous serving of the lasagne and begins complimenting me about delicious it is. I got visibly annoyed and asked why he couldn't have something else or at the very least, a tiny portion rather than a dinner-sized portion. His response was that he is only going to have a small spoon of it when we sit down for dinner and have a plate made up mainly of salad and wedges instead hmm

I've left him to it but it's pissed me off so much - he does this all the time and I think it's so disrespectful to someone who's been slaving away in a kitchen to just dip into a hot dinner they've made like it's a snack. Is it weird that I would want to eat it and enjoy it together?? Maybe I'm just being silly - it would be great to get opinions!

Also I'm not sure if it's relevant but I work full time too and usually try to get home much earlier than DH to make a start on his snack dinner

JesusInTheCabbageVan Wed 23-Oct-19 19:17:23

YANBU, shocking behaviour by your DH.

violetbunny Wed 23-Oct-19 19:18:31

So rude!

ItsJustTheOneSwanActually Wed 23-Oct-19 19:18:53


BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz Wed 23-Oct-19 19:19:35

Yeah that's dickish behaviour.

I'd just cook for myself from now on tbh.

JesusInTheCabbageVan Wed 23-Oct-19 19:20:05

And it's not 'controlling' to ask someone not to act like a dick if they're acting like a dick.

CormacMcLaggen Wed 23-Oct-19 19:20:14

I'd be livid. I really can't articulate exactly why. Livid.

MakeItRain Wed 23-Oct-19 19:20:37

Was there a reason you were waiting until 7.15? I would have just served it up straight away if my partner had come home and announced he was starving. Were you waiting for someone else to join you? If so YANBU, but if it's only you two eating and he's arrived home starving then I don't really understand why you'd want him to "eat a banana" and wait.

ThroughThickAndThin01 Wed 23-Oct-19 19:20:56

Well I have to laugh, it’s not huge, but yanbu.

Don’t ltb though.

Jarline Wed 23-Oct-19 19:21:06

So disrespectful. And GREEDY. He could have waited, I'm pretty sure that even with my limited knowledge of the situation, that he wouldn't have died......

My husband does similar. Rips into food like hes never been fed. Drives me scatty. My parents in law do it too, the packet of biscuits is barely open before they have one in their mouth.

AwdBovril Wed 23-Oct-19 19:21:29

That's extremely rude. Is he as inconsiderate in other aspects of life - would he do something similar to colleagues, for example?

sunshine5997 Wed 23-Oct-19 19:21:49

I would be so annoyed!!

Disfordarkchocolate Wed 23-Oct-19 19:22:01

I wouldn't be bothered. If I was bothered dinner wouldn't be ready to eat when my husband came home.

Aquamarine1029 Wed 23-Oct-19 19:22:06

Your husband is shockingly rude and shows he has zero consideration for you. It's as though he thinks you're the fucking skivvy. I'd be furious.

emilybrontescorsett Wed 23-Oct-19 19:22:59

Yes why were you waiting until 7:15 to eat?
But yes he was being unreasonable.

onanothertrain Wed 23-Oct-19 19:23:02

FFS. He, was starving, why couldn't you have had dinner earlier rather than make him wait? I agree with your husband. It is controlling, he's not a child.

TitianaTitsling Wed 23-Oct-19 19:23:15

Would the lasagne not be all dried out after another 45 mins in the oven?

Redlioness123 Wed 23-Oct-19 19:23:35

Thank you, I don't feel quite so irrational now!

Yes we eat at that time as we have a 13month old and I put him to bed between 6.30 and 7.00. I feed him separately a bit earlier (usually not what we are having)

frazzledasarock Wed 23-Oct-19 19:23:40

Next few dinners make a lovely dinner and ensure you eat most of it and he’s hes left with leftovers.

Daffodil2018 Wed 23-Oct-19 19:23:42

How rude! I also can't quite articulate why it's so rude, but it is! It's greedy and selfish. He is an adult, he should be able to control himself until you're ready to serve up.

Drogosnextwife Wed 23-Oct-19 19:23:50

But he was starving and you wanted him to wait 45 mins even although it was ready. I honestly can't see the problem if he was still going to sit down with you and eat anyway. Yup I agree with him that's a bit controlling.

Athe Wed 23-Oct-19 19:23:54

YANBU - he’s rude, particularly if it’s a regular occurrence. But also slightly U; if he does this frequently, why would you intentionally get home early to make food and facilitate this for him?

FineWordsForAPorcupine Wed 23-Oct-19 19:23:57

Have you considered sharing the cooking? You both work full time, so no reason it should always be you, plus having to think about and prepare a meal regularly might make him a bit more respectful of the effort that goes into it.

57Varieties Wed 23-Oct-19 19:24:05

YANBU, what a greedy pig.

Nofunkingworriesmate Wed 23-Oct-19 19:25:13

7:15 is weirdly precise time to eat? Why not eat when hungry? He was rude to not wait and eat with you, it’s a bit stepford wife to rush home to cook his dinner I hope he cooks for you?

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