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To think this is quite rude of my friends ?

(36 Posts)
Crystal1981 Wed 23-Oct-19 14:48:23

I live in a very large town which probably has two known bad areas, most other areas are 'average' and a few are 'posh'.

Mine is one of the average ones, I live on a busy main road opposite a large hospital; this area doesn't have any kind of reputation that I am aware of, but I really like the convenience of this location. Never had a single issue whatsoever.

Anyway, I have a friend the same age (late 20s) and her fiancé. They both earn good wages, but I think her fiancé earns a very good one particularly. I like him, but I feel like he has an opinion on everything and kind of looks down his nose at people sometimes.
He said that a guy I was dating last year 'looked homeless' behind my back, even though he had done nothing wrong to him.

Anyway, they live 10 mins' drive in a well-off village. One day we were driving through my area and the fiancé said 'oh it's quite rough here' knowing I lived here.

Then, the friend came on her own to see my flat. She parked her car 30 seconds away from mine and then made me walk her to the car because she had seen a middle-aged man in the street (nowhere near her car) it just made me feel like she was scared of the area and expected it to be dodgy.

Just find it a little stuck up. I don't really have the same money or tastes they do but I would never act like that or say their area is snobby etc.

Does it sound like they were being snobs ?

Sexnotgender Wed 23-Oct-19 15:00:28

Not snobs, scummy judgemental arseholes maybe.

Crystal1981 Wed 23-Oct-19 15:03:11

Yeah :/ I have lived one month before in an area with a very poor and quite dangerous reputation, and my parents and others were concerned and telling me to be careful. That I can totally get but not looking down their nose for nothing..

BirthdayCakes Wed 23-Oct-19 15:12:11

They sound dull..

I have otherwise lovely friends who have looked down on the areas I've lived in before.. The thing I find strange is that they have chosen to live in a tiny flat in a good area (Richmond) where they clearly don't fit in and are constantly bitching about their neighbours and other parents on the school run rather than just admit that they're lower middle class, buy a big house somewhere cheaper, and have a gay old time with the rest of us..

ILearnedItFromABook Wed 23-Oct-19 15:17:50

Maybe the area does seem rough to them (whether or not they're objectively correct), but they definitely shouldn't be making rude comments about it to you, knowing that you're happy living there.

Crystal1981 Wed 23-Oct-19 15:20:51

Thanks for the replies ! Yes I know they have very expensive tastes (just spent 40 grand on a car, things like poundland are alien) and they are allowed their opinions and preferences but yeah kinda rude..
Anyway as long as I like living here that's what counts and doesnt matter what they think. If they say anything else I will pull them up on it.

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy Wed 23-Oct-19 15:21:50

Not only snobby but extremely rude and quite pathetic too. Making you walk her 30 seconds to her car? I take it she wasn't worried about you walking back to your front door afterwards then.

These people aren't your friends.

DragonontheWagon Wed 23-Oct-19 15:28:17

I wouldn't be friends with people like that I'm afraid. They sound like dullards who base their opinions of people around their postcode, possessions and what labels their clothes have.

seaweedandmarchingbands Wed 23-Oct-19 15:29:37

I don’t know... In my experience (small city, have lived near hospitals) hospitals are often quite well-patronised by people I wouldn’t want to pass in a dark alley. That’s not me being a snob; it’s my experience. I probably wouldn’t ask a friend to walk to my car with me, only because she would then have to walk back on her own.

Supersimkin2 Wed 23-Oct-19 15:41:02

Silly little snobs. You'll find better friends easily.

Crystal1981 Wed 23-Oct-19 16:00:12

Thanks for the replies ! They are nice in other areas but I guess we are different people. They only do luxury holidays and wouldn't be seen dead in somewhere like B and M or a charity shop, which is their choice. We are just different in terms of finances and tastes, and I won't hesitate to say something if it comes up again.

saraclara Wed 23-Oct-19 16:05:30

She parked her car 30 seconds away from mine and then made me walk her to the car

If she does that again, ask her why, if she thinks it's so dangerous, she's asking you to walk back to your house from her car, alone.

SilverySurfer Wed 23-Oct-19 16:06:05

I think the meaning of the word 'friend' must have changed at some point during my 70+ years. There are so many threads on here about how friends are being rude, mean, difficult, not caring, that I wonder why they are considered to be friends at all.

I think you need better friends OP.

ThatMuppetShow Wed 23-Oct-19 16:08:37

the fiancé said 'oh it's quite rough here' knowing I lived here.

that was rude. No friend would criticise your area in front of you - it's fine to think it's not for them, not to tell you to your face.

Junkmail Wed 23-Oct-19 16:10:33

I’ve had “friends” be weird about where I live. One kept banging on about how “rough” it is—it’s really not. It’s actually a fairly nice/average little newish build area but my god, she made out like I was living in the ghettos. And yeah there’s rougher areas nearby but I mean it’s a city and it is what it is. I’ve never felt unsafe here and it’s actually a really good community with a few people who are experiencing challenges living not all that far away but I mean they’re just people! Your friends sound weird and snobby and a little out of touch with reality tbh.

diddl Wed 23-Oct-19 16:23:40

They sound petty & childish.

Boysey45 Wed 23-Oct-19 16:36:33

They are not really what I would call friends. They are rude people that you are aquainted with.
Just dump them OP, you don't have to listen to their nasty comments.

LavendarGreen Wed 23-Oct-19 16:36:50

@Crystal1981 WOW, yes they were rude.

Are they jealous? Sounds like where you live is convenient and pretty OK.

Nasty. Give them a wide berth eh?

MLMsuperfan Wed 23-Oct-19 16:39:44

Walking down the steet with my toddler in a pushchair, a neighbour I was friends with said "I'm going to move to a better area before I have kids". Well thanks very much.

HazelBite Wed 23-Oct-19 17:02:46

In the car on the way to my DDad's funeral my younger sister pipes up "I don't know why anyone could live here its such a dump!" As both myself and my older sister live in said location, I was a bit gobsmacked at her rudeness.
The really silly thing is both mine and my older sister's houses are worth now in excess of £1m because of the location!

timshelthechoice Wed 23-Oct-19 17:03:46

They are not friends, they're arseholes.

LimitIsUp Wed 23-Oct-19 17:05:25

Ugh - is the fiancé newly minted? Sudden high earnings might have gone to his head and contributed to him being rude and graceless.

easyandy101 Wed 23-Oct-19 17:05:56

What kinda hospital is it just out of interest?

Inferiorbeing Wed 23-Oct-19 17:08:32

We have some friends who were like this about the town we bought in, until they saw how much house we got when they could only afford a tiny flat in the "posh" area. Even more so now that her mum is moving just down the road from us!

seasidequayside Wed 23-Oct-19 17:10:38

Why don't you say something to them, not to cause an argument, but e.g. when your friend wanted you to walk to the car with her, why didn't you say "don't be ridiculous, it's perfectly safe!" or when the guy said it was a rough area, "You don't seem to know this area very well. I do, and it's not rough at all, just not as well off as where you live."

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