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To ask if you would tell a parent

(72 Posts)
IceAndASlice123 Wed 23-Oct-19 14:00:24

If you knew someone who was a recreational drug user and around their young child? The young girl (22) who does the drug taking does not have sole charge of the child but child adores them and it's possible they could be alone with them at some time.
My friend said I would be starting a witch hunt and could be done for slander.

The parent I might be alerting is not aware of this girl as she is separated from her ex and so doesn't know who her kid is really spending time with

onthecoins Wed 23-Oct-19 14:02:55

Are you talking about cannabis or crack? There's an enormous difference.

TellMeWhoTheVilliansAre Wed 23-Oct-19 14:03:10

I think there are very very many recreational drug users around children all the time. Including parents who indulge at the weekends, aunts, uncles, cousins, neighbours, grandparents etc.

Unless the 22 year old is in charge of the child whilst recreationally using, then I wouldn't say anything.

IceAndASlice123 Wed 23-Oct-19 14:06:10

Can't be sure of the exact drug but she is definitely a user of them. I just worry as I wouldn't forgive myself if her kid got hold of something and took it thinking it was a sweet or something. The child is 6.

GunpowderGelatine Wed 23-Oct-19 14:09:11

I've read your post a few times and I'm confused as to who you're supposed to be telling? Th 22yo's parents? Who isn't aware of the 22yo?

If you don't know which drugs she's even taking how on Earth do you know she's drug user

IceAndASlice123 Wed 23-Oct-19 14:14:39

I meant the parent of the young child.
I don't know the exact drugs she takes but she is quite brazen over her use of them.

AllFourOfThem Wed 23-Oct-19 14:14:48

Can't be sure of the exact drug but she is definitely a user of them.

So it could be cannabis or it could be crack but you don’t know, yet are certain she is taking one despite the give away signs being vastly different.

IceAndASlice123 Wed 23-Oct-19 14:18:29

As I said she is quite brazen and boastful about her usage of drugs regardless of what they are.
General answers seem to be not to say anything so I won't although I am still concerned.

GunpowderGelatine Wed 23-Oct-19 14:21:35

Aaaah I see, sorry I thought you meant the 22yo was the parent. But you mean that a 22yo who takes drugs is sometimes around a child and you want to inform the child's mother?

If you're not even sure if the alleged drug user is around the child alone, or what kind of drugs she's on, quite honestly OP it's not a safeguarding issue and telling the mum smacks a little of shit stirring

IceAndASlice123 Wed 23-Oct-19 14:23:42

Yes, that's what I want to do.
I am definitely not trying to shit stir, just worried something bad could happen as it's possible the child could be left alone with her.

BeatriceTheBeast Wed 23-Oct-19 14:26:02

It depends what the drugs are and how the 22yo knows the child. Is she the child's new stepmum / sister or someone the child sees occasionally?

Heroine and stepmum obviously is worse than someone who works at the local soft play who sometimes smokes cannabis.

Apolloanddaphne Wed 23-Oct-19 14:26:28

Is that not similar to someone saying to my friend who has small children that sometimes I like to drink so I shouldn't be around her children? Seems bonkers to me as I would never drink when around her children and if they were in my house I would be alert to the fact they might open the cupboard where I keep my gin stash.

I would keep your beak out OP.

holidays987 Wed 23-Oct-19 14:28:07

I wouldn't say anything. You don't know enough about what she's supposedly recreationally taking. If she's not in sole charge of the child and even if she was you'd want to know what exactly you're aware that she's taking before making any accusations. Doesn't sound like she's an addict or would be a risk to the child from what you've said. I'd keep out of it.

IceAndASlice123 Wed 23-Oct-19 14:30:44

As I said, I am just concerned but I won't say anything.
Alcohol is of course a concern but drugs could be fatal if in the hands of a young child.

P1nkHeartLovesCake Wed 23-Oct-19 14:38:39

Have you with your own eyes seen this person take drugs? Unless you have all you’ve got is gossip And yes of course you’d be known as someone looking to cause drama.

GunpowderGelatine Wed 23-Oct-19 14:41:31

I do t think you're stirring but that's how it could be perceived.

I imagine people my DC are exposed to - extended family, family friends etc - are on drugs and I don't know. Or especially care when they're never alone with them.

Like a PP said if it's a heroin addicted stepmom that's one thing, a weed smoking cousin is another

JasonPollack Wed 23-Oct-19 14:42:30

Alcohol could be fatal in the hands of a young child.

You seem very judgemental.

Josette77 Wed 23-Oct-19 14:44:12

Huge huge difference between pot and meth. Since this person is bragging I'm guessing pot? How can you not know the drug if they are boasting about it?

Crunchymum Wed 23-Oct-19 14:44:32

How do you have this info?.

BilboBercow Wed 23-Oct-19 14:47:48

It doesn't sound like you know a great deal if you don't know what drugs she's using. If it's recreational use she's also not likely to be using them around the child so what's it got to do with the child's parents?

HiJenny35 Wed 23-Oct-19 15:23:05

What makes you think the mum doesn't take? It's her friend I would guess she's also into it? I'd say half of the mums at school use recreational drugs at the weekend. It's a lot more common than you think sadly

SellmeyourMLMcrap Wed 23-Oct-19 15:58:36

So because she uses some (unknown) drugs she is a danger to children or the children's parent needs to know? How judgemental do you want to be?

Take your child into any childcare environment and there's a decent chance one or more of the carers are recreational drug users, take them to hospital and one of the nurses likely is.

Drug use does not make someone a bad person and it does not mean they are incapable of looking after children. Now go back to your (oh so legal) Pinot Grigio and judge someone else.

IceAndASlice123 Wed 23-Oct-19 17:04:49

I am concerned for the child as I have said. My thinking is he could pick up a drug or be looked after her when she is under the influence.
As I said, I am not going to say anything but do still worry. If that's a crime then I am guilty of it.
I really don't think it's the norm either for parents over the country to be taking a hit while looking after their kids. Either that or I am very sheltered.

Josette77 Wed 23-Oct-19 18:42:14

If this person was having a glass of wine with dinner would you feel the same way?

IceAndASlice123 Wed 23-Oct-19 18:43:58

Are we seriously comparing that with illegal drug use? Come on now.

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