Anyone else have a sister who makes them feel like shit?

[Iamnotagoddess]

Anyone?

Please share.

My sister just will never ever get how she hurts me sometimes

[Cherrysoup]

What does she do?

[CoffeeBeansGalore]

Yes!

[Iamnotagoddess]

Lives abroad. Regularly comes over and doesn’t visit me or arrange to meet.

Came over, spent weekend with her friend (who is also my friend) an hour away.

Gets back home and posts what am amazing time she had seeing friends and our parents.

Puts me down all the time and questions me on every tiny thing in front of my children, has always undermined me in front of them even though she had children 10 years after me.

Took my ex husbands side when I divorced him.

Took the piss out of the fact I asked her to dress smartly for my 2nd wedding (I didn’t want her children coming in jeans).

Never forgave me for having an addiction (and recovering) after an abusive childhood.

Denys we had an abusive childhood.

Resents me succeeding and our parents liking that ....

[honeylulu]

Wouldn't see or speak to me for years because my second child was a girl and hers wasn't . Yes, really

[CoffeeBeansGalore]

In your shoes I would welcome the physical distance & try to emotionally distance yourself as well. It is hard but probably better for you in the long run. Don't read her posts (if Facebook & you don't want to deactivate or delete your account then "unfollow" her). What you don't see won't hurt you. If parents/relatives gush over her news/visits etc cut the conversation short or change the subject. Put yourself & your family first. It will hopefully get easier.

[VanyaHargreeves]

I have two sisters

I have an exceptionally difficult relationship with one.

I find her to be a highly manipulative, scheming individual, who often seems to be insincerely performing a part, only showing people what she wants them to know, she has never liked me and thus doesn't try with me therefore I feel like one of the few people who can see through her, though I suspect there are lots of people I would hardly know who think the same. Harsh as it is I don't think she has any redeemable qualities whatsoever.

My mother is quite gullible and never realises she's being manipulated until I point it out My other sister lives abroad and because of the distance I think doesn't see enough of her to realise how messed up my sister is.

I avoid her as far as I possibly can. I feel that because of a developing situation which she is deluding herself is positive when it isn't karma is coming to her albeit slowly.

[CoffeeBeansGalore]

@honeylulu Wow! Petty 😮

[hotdogwoof]

I do. My sister is awful. We are NC.

[KellyHall]

Cut her out and realise she doesn't even deserve the time you spend thinking about her.

Get her out of your life, your social media, everything. This bitch is toxic and you don't need that shit in your life.

It took my mum 60 years of emotional abuse from my god awful aunt before she finally got her out of her life and we all know it's caused so many wasted heartaches over the years.

[Iamnotagoddess]

My sister has said that she has been tempted to go NC. I have absolutely no idea why. It’s hurtful.

[ssd]

Oh god yes. Makes me feel invisible, completely. I am very very low contact and thought after years if dealing with it, thought I'd come out the other end and had it together. So we visited and basically after 2 hours of visiting, I went home and cried for the whole night. I actually feel my sister is toxic, like I can't go near her, literally.

[RubbingHimSourly]

Oh I have the sisters to end all sisters. She is awful.......I deal with it by grey rocking the hell out of her.

[ssd]

My sister makes me feel invisible, like everything I've went through, or experienced or felt, means nothing. At all. Everything that makes me me, she doesn't need/want/value. Basically she's ever needed a sister. But I have.

[Iamnotagoddess]

I am not the lovely 44 year old women, with a wonderful family and a successful career and lovely home when I am with my sister.

She sucks that out of me and puts me back to that place of being a fucked up teenager who was sent abroad for her to sort me out.

[ssd]

She's never needed a sister ^^

[VanyaHargreeves]

@ssd

Same. I feel sick and anxious if I know I have to see her, thinking about her/the things she's done puts me all out of sorts and makes me angry. The whole situation is so unjust. She cons people left and right that she is a good person and knows how to get people to look at her as the victim of injustice instead when it's not the case.

[Iamnotagoddess]

Yeah I think my sister also never needed a sister and I did

[ssd]

Same op. My sister, I think, still sees me as a petulant 17 year old who likes Duran Duran. She dismisses me. I can't be myself, she ducks the life from me as you say. Thank god we lives hundreds of miles apart.

[VanyaHargreeves]

My sister was "sisters" with our other sister and made damn sure growing up that I knew that I was unwanted and other and never would be included

Fortunately my other sister has become a sane adult but we've only really been building a relationship for the last decade due to the level of damage fucked up sister wreaked on our relationship as children

[ssd]

I used to dream of how free I'd feel when my sister dies. But I just think I'd feel cheated, to never have told her how I feel, how she makes me feel. But I couldn't be unemotional enough to tell her. I know if I ever did pour my heart out, it would be met with a scornful tut, as if I'd complained someone stole my dolly. And that would be that. I dream of her being old and weak and me having the upper hand. Actually I dream of her needing a kidney or something and I'm the only match for her, and I say no. I bloody dream of that.

[CoffeeBeansGalore]

OP - is your sister the "Golden Child"? Can do no wrong from parents point of view, regardless of how badly she behaves or how well you are doing in life?

[VanyaHargreeves]

Without going into the exact circumstances I strongly empathise with that post @ssd

[Iamnotagoddess]

@CoffeeBeansGalore.

She was growing up hence my addiction issues (there is a lot more to it than that).

I have reconciled with my parents and have a good relationship with them now.

[CoffeeBeansGalore]

Has anyone had their relationship with parents adversely affected by their sis?

[Whocutdownthecherrytree]

If someone keeps disappointing you, you need to lower your expectations. I’ve had to do this with every member of my immediate family. The change in perspective makes a world of difference. Stop expecting her to be the sister she is clearly not